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Old 04-25-2015, 08:25 AM
 
4,761 posts, read 14,288,731 times
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Instead of Facebook, get a babysitter and go out to nightclubs - go on dates. Get a boyfriend who hopefully might at least help mow the lawn...
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Old 04-25-2015, 09:11 AM
 
8,170 posts, read 6,035,273 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nightlysparrow View Post
How much time do you spend on Facebook, the internet, watching TV? They steal time.
I rarely watch tv. I do use facebook on my phone when i am stuck in traffic or cant be doing anything else. I use internet and post here while at work.
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Old 04-25-2015, 09:13 AM
 
8,170 posts, read 6,035,273 times
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Originally Posted by Billy_J View Post
Instead of Facebook, get a babysitter and go out to nightclubs - go on dates. Get a boyfriend who hopefully might at least help mow the lawn...
Ugh... So much wrong with this.

I met almost 40 guys last summer while doing OLD. The bars is not the place to locate mr. Right. I have met several mr. Wrongs that way though.
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Old 04-25-2015, 09:46 AM
 
Location: Palm Beach Gardens, Fla
1,887 posts, read 7,939,949 times
Reputation: 1560
Reframe your situation. Start being grateful for what you do have, rather than what you don't.
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Old 04-25-2015, 11:02 AM
 
13,754 posts, read 13,322,930 times
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One time I was in a similar situation. The city came and did the yard because someone complained. (vacant house) They charged me $300. They did such a great job I wish they'd done it sooner. Can you afford to do pay someone to mow?

You should find a counselor who can look at your schedule and see what can be adjusted. You're just overwhelmed. Some larger churches have good counseling staff.

How old are your kids again? Maybe you can do a movie and pizza night, camping out on the living room floor while you soak in the tub then read quietly in your room. Set a timer and they aren't allowed to bother you for.... 30 minutes? As long as they're safe and trustworthy.

AND you need to make them do more - like pack their own lunches.
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Old 04-25-2015, 11:08 AM
 
2,547 posts, read 4,229,133 times
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Sorry if this sounds mean, and I understand you're overwhelmed, but it's really not your friends' fault that they have husbands and are able not to work. That doesn't make them obligated to you somehow. Maybe they made the conscious decision not to have kids until they were in a stable relationship with a reliable partner who would stick around?

And on that note, are your kids from two different fathers? what is wrong with the father that he can't handle his kid 3% of the time? Is he a drug user or alcoholic or something? Is he paying child support? What's the official custody situation?
Sorry, but I have a peeve with women who let deadbeat baby daddies get away with goofing off and doing jack squat, and then complaining that they're overwhelmed. It took two people to make that baby and just because the relationship didn't work out doesn't mean the father should get off with no responsibility

In the meantime, look around for maybe a high school girl looking to make some extra cash as a mother's helper, help with the kids and stuff around the house while you're home, around here they charge $7/hour or so, $15 won't break the bank for you but the two hours in the evening would do a lot for your sanity. Same for the yard, look for a teenage boy who could do it for cheap. How old are your kids btw?
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Old 04-25-2015, 11:19 AM
 
2,334 posts, read 2,647,940 times
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PLEASE get away from Facebook. That's your main trigger, it sounds like. Go on YouTube and watch bloopers of your favorite shows or movies.

You're definitely overwhelmed and need help. You have parents, and they're tired, too, but they probably have many more connections to people who know people, etc., than you do, so ask them if they know anyone who can help do SOMETHING -- you're doing the best you can with the resources you have, but you need help.

Just stop a moment and think. Breathe. You are doing your best.

Don't do what doesn't ABSOLUTELY have to be done; let the dishes go; let something just "go" for a day or two or a week. Don't make the beds, don't clean up, anything else you usually do but can realistically be set aside for even just a few days.

Get away from Facebook or anything that connects you to these other mothers. Don't read their blogs, don't tweet, don't text, etc. Leave it. You have more important things to focus on -- you, your job, your children. Not THEM. They are not important, and they sound like frivolous idiots! Free yourself from that kind of mind set -- it does not belong in YOUR life. YOU are in charge of your feelings; no one else.
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Old 04-25-2015, 01:26 PM
 
8,170 posts, read 6,035,273 times
Reputation: 5965
Quote:
Originally Posted by hunterseat View Post
One time I was in a similar situation. The city came and did the yard because someone complained. (vacant house) They charged me $300. They did such a great job I wish they'd done it sooner. Can you afford to do pay someone to mow?

You should find a counselor who can look at your schedule and see what can be adjusted. You're just overwhelmed. Some larger churches have good counseling staff.

How old are your kids again? Maybe you can do a movie and pizza night, camping out on the living room floor while you soak in the tub then read quietly in your room. Set a timer and they aren't allowed to bother you for.... 30 minutes? As long as they're safe and trustworthy.

AND you need to make them do more - like pack their own lunches.
With the cost of two houses, daycare and utilities, my budget is tight right now. I just have me, myself and I.
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Old 04-25-2015, 01:29 PM
 
8,170 posts, read 6,035,273 times
Reputation: 5965
Quote:
Originally Posted by EvilCookie View Post
Sorry if this sounds mean, and I understand you're overwhelmed, but it's really not your friends' fault that they have husbands and are able not to work. That doesn't make them obligated to you somehow. Maybe they made the conscious decision not to have kids until they were in a stable relationship with a reliable partner who would stick around?

And on that note, are your kids from two different fathers? what is wrong with the father that he can't handle his kid 3% of the time? Is he a drug user or alcoholic or something? Is he paying child support? What's the official custody situation?
Sorry, but I have a peeve with women who let deadbeat baby daddies get away with goofing off and doing jack squat, and then complaining that they're overwhelmed. It took two people to make that baby and just because the relationship didn't work out doesn't mean the father should get off with no responsibility

In the meantime, look around for maybe a high school girl looking to make some extra cash as a mother's helper, help with the kids and stuff around the house while you're home, around here they charge $7/hour or so, $15 won't break the bank for you but the two hours in the evening would do a lot for your sanity. Same for the yard, look for a teenage boy who could do it for cheap. How old are your kids btw?
No it is really not their fault.

Yes kids are from two different fathers. One is dead and the other is untreated bipolar. He can't take care of himself, let alone a 4 year old.

I do not have cash to pay anyone. I myself am fairly low income. My expenses right now exceed my income by a significant amount. Savings is getting us through until the second house sells or gets rented.

Oh and I live in an affluent area. Kids do not want to work for small amounts of money because they have parents that provide everything. I offered to pay a kid $200 to paint a deck last week and he said No.
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Old 04-25-2015, 01:30 PM
 
797 posts, read 1,750,526 times
Reputation: 674
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
As a single mom of two young kids, i feel overwhelmed and cant keep up with everything. I do not know how to shake this feeling. I have become jealous of those that post on facebook that they dont work, have time for naps, etc. i am becoming snarky in my replies to them. Like geez, maybe you should offer to do something for the working, single mom of two that only has time to sleep 4 hours a day.

How can I feel less overwhelmed and frustrated?


I don't really have advice but just wanted to say that I admire how hard you work for your children and wanted to send some positive vibes and prayers your way. Hope things get easier for you soon
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