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If you really don't care and are over it and him, so be it. Move out. Start dating.
But if you do still care, confront him. Tell him you think he's an alcoholic, why, how it effects you and you want him to get help. You do have a choice to take steps to be HAPPY. You can go to AL-ANON for support. Many churches have support groups for family members as do local community centers and senior centers. You are not alone. Only you know if you can stay or need to leave.
I would be seriously concerned if he is taking pain meds and alcohol. That will destroy his liver. Not to mention accidental overdose. As other post mentioned, be sure life insurance and all paperwork is taken care of including funeral arrangements. I'm not kidding. Do this in front of him, very deliberately. Tell him why you are doing it. It could help wake him up. He might not ever quit drinking, but you never know, then again he might if he's faced with losing you.
Don't buy his beer. EVER. Make him buy his own.
If you are at home and he's drinking, leave the room. Tell him why.
Be active in changing your life. Don't be a victim or enable. Your happiness is in your hands. Take steps to help yourself. You can't fix him, but you can work on you.
BamaBlue God, what you said I just love. Love the funeral arrangement thing down to what he wants to wear. He did not drink when we first met when I was 13 and he was 17. We have been married for 47 years and I think growing old is really freaking him out and he thinks alcohol will help. I usually make him go to bed and he falls asleep. It sounds like he drinks a lot but 5 years ago he had a gastric bypass and alcohol goes right to your head after those surgeries. Thank you so much.
Start with the AlAnon website to empower yourself and learn about detachment and co-dependency. From this viewpoint, you will be able to help both of you.
Good Luck
Daughter of an alcoholic.
Wow, he mentioned it beforehand and one turns into two but NOT 3? You're questioning alcoholic but not the other and those are 2 separate issues. Sure one could feed the other but someone that occasionally has 2 beers and stops before three and lets you know he "might" beforehand? Based on those basic facts you stated, I would in no way consider someone his age an alcoholic. Also, if you'd delve further into stories of partners with alcoholics, you'd get a little more insight about how nasty that situation can become. Then again, my opinion based solely on your original post.
I'm also 67 and take lots of meds, usually i dont drink at home but when i'm on vacation i really enjoy sitting on the motel/hotel balcony and having a beer or two,i dont consider myself an alcoholic and after a tough 67 year life the last thing i want is my wife nagging me about consuming a couple of beers while on vacation..
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