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Old 05-12-2015, 04:31 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,707 posts, read 19,880,600 times
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I found it nice to talk 45 minutes just about myself. Other than that, it didn't help much.

However, I went to marriage counseling (which turned out to be divorce counseling) and it helped me to clear my mind and start the necessary steps to change my life.

I think it always depends on your, your circumstances, your willingness to change.

If you have a really good and mature friend, you can ask her/him to give you certain advise. For me it helps tremendously to have critical friends who just tell me when I make bad decisions or have self esteem issues. Most people are too polite but there are some of us left who will tell you how it is, plain and simple.
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Old 05-12-2015, 05:23 PM
 
Location: City Data Land
17,156 posts, read 12,912,897 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Utopian Slums View Post
I've had at least 5 therapists and many other pdocs.

Out of the 5, I would only recommend 2. There is Soooo much variation in skill in this area.

I like the hairdresser analogy. Some really help to improve your self/look, others are less skilled and/or might just have one style that doesn't work for everyone.

As everyone above said, it takes work from the patient.

If after 3 sessions you don't feel comfortable/connected/optimistic, find a new therapist.
Great post. Beware of the therapist/psychology profession bashers, OP. I'm sure you will hear a lot from them. Look for a therapist you can click with and relate to. I did the graduate school thing and undergraduate degrees in Psychology but I also needed counseling for grief issues, among other things. I looked around for a therapist in my large city. Based on my issues, I decided to look for someone who wasn't spiritually oriented and had background in psychoanalysis. I wanted a psychologist, but after seeing a deadly boring male psychologist with whom I didn't mesh at all, I changed my mind about that requirement when I went hunting for a new therapist.

I then came upon my current therapist, who is a female licensed clinical social worker. She is amazing. She is wickedly funny, irreverent, and her office is decorated in beautiful colors, as is she. She saw me for 8 sessions, and she helped me through a lot of these family issues in just that short time. She told me I wasn't crazy, and after those sessions, she decided I was doing fine and she didn't think I needed to come to see here regularly anymore. She suggested I come back to see her on an as needed basis. I have seen her three times since then, and I did the original 8 sessions 3 years ago. I actually have another appointment to see her next week to help work through some problems, once again revolving around the family thing.

It is important you put effort into therapy. Therapy isn't meant to be a passive exercise. The therapist is there to offer you clarity and insight. He/she cannot fix your problems. Therapists aren't perfect, either. They are not gods. They are as human as you and me. But most therapists want to help others who are having issues, and being an unbiased observer can really assist them in helping you see how YOU can solve YOUR own problems better. Good luck!
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Old 05-12-2015, 06:28 PM
 
10,105 posts, read 19,349,683 times
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Originally Posted by irootoo View Post
I've gone to several therapists. Some of them worked very well to make me feel better short term and be happier long term by giving me strategies that I could put in place to deal in a practical manner with long-term depression and anxiety issues.

The main thing to remember is that therapists vary in quality just as much as any professional. You wouldn't keep going to a hairdresser who did a bad job, or who made you feel uncomfortable, so don't feel you need to keep going to a therapist you don't click with. Don't be hesitant to quit a therapist if you don't seem to be connecting after two or three sessions. You need to feel comfortable with the therapist's viewpoint and methods in order to be able to trust the process enough to make changes in your life and outlook.

For me, behavioral therapy and something a bit esoteric called Hakomi therapy have worked the best to help me to make lasting changes that have made me happier and more productive. It took a while until I understood what type of therapy worked best for me, so if one type of therapy doesn't seem to help, I highly recommend trying a different practitioner with a different approach. The type of approach where I sat and moaned about how my dad was an alcoholic and my mom didn't love me did nothing but make me more depressed, whereas the type where I was asked to do specific actions worked very well.

If you feel at all disrespected or not heard, do not go back to that person. I once sat for 50 minutes describing in detail my situation, family background, marriage, and issues with depression and anxiety (the main reason I came in), only to have the therapist sit back and say, "Okay, now when are you going to do something about your weight?" Needless to say, I did not go back.

I also recently went to a therapist who didn't seem to have anything of her own to say, she just kept giving me printouts from a book to read. She also kept reading to me at length out of various books she would pull off her shelf. I drew the line when she sent printouts home with me that didn't even pertain to my situation, and wanted me to read them and report back to her. During the second session I asked her what type of a therapist she was and what her theory of therapy was. She said, "Oh, you know, you just talk about whatever you want to talk about, and I listen." After about five sessions, she had no suggestions on how to make my situation better, she just kept giving me printouts to read. They weren't even her own writing, they came directly from some book. I gave up on her after that.

Even considering the duds, I highly recommend therapy. It truly has helped me. I wish you luck in finding a good therapist.

I've had this happen, too, in expensive, time-consuming "therapy". They just recommend a bunch of books, or give you printouts of articles, etc. I've found the majority of the time, they haven't even read the books/articles themselves I diligently bought/read all the books on the reading list. When I referred to the recommended readings, I just got a blank look. Its from the list you gave me, don't you have an opinion on what you recommended? Once I was even laughed at----you actually bought all those? They were just general recommendations, I didn't expect anyone to actually read all of them! She said this while giggling herself almost hysterical. I walked out, but she sent me a bill, anyways.... to my idea "therapy" is overrated. Others see it as some sort of cure for whatever, when they can't even define the problem. A lot depends on your insurance, too. Therapy isn't free, and insurance coverage is quite limited. Whatever floats your boat..........I would recommend just reading the books and forget the "therapy". That way you avoid the bill and being laughed at by the "therapist"

Last edited by MaryleeII; 05-12-2015 at 06:56 PM..
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Old 05-14-2015, 07:58 AM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,126 posts, read 10,088,952 times
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I've been twice. Once during a divorce, and again recently for some other issues I was having in general with relationships/life. My first therapist was okay, but he mostly just listened. My second and most recent therapist was amazing. He gave me a lot of feedback and we went back and forth a lot as I worked out some things that had been bothering me. I need that feedback from a therapist. Some of them don't seem to provide that. Unfortunately it cost 95 dollars a session...not cheap. I have insurance, but it doesn't cover anything until I meet my deductible.

However, it was worth it for me. I agree w/ others here that you can't expect sitting there once a week to fix you. You have to do the work on yourself.
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Old 05-16-2015, 04:24 PM
 
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I went to therapy for 2 years for social anxiety. It didn't help one bit. You should try it though. For some people it's great.
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Old 05-16-2015, 07:40 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,412,743 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VanillaChocolate View Post
Anyone ever had therapy or counselling and it actually helped you? I was thinking about trying it, but I would like to hear some good experiences some have had with therapy.

How did it make you feel, how long before you could start to see improvement, etc

My mother had therapy, and she loved it and said it helped alot. So what are some other success stories?
I'm currently in the process of obtaining my master's in counseling psych, and am training to be a licensed therapist. My primary previous background with therapy consists of living with a significant other for about five years who sought therapy for a specific disorder, and going with him to his individual therapy at his request as a support. My other background is due to working as a special education teacher with students with emotional and behavioral disabilities. My primary reason for changing fields and becoming certified to perform therapy and counseling was because much of the work I was called on to do in special ed was with behavioral and conduct disorders, and it became painfully clear that what my students needed most was a service I was not explicitly trained or certified to provide. So I figured I'd go ahead and get that training.

My experience thus far in my graduate training is that there is a wide variety of counselling/therapy. There are many schools and approaches, some of which have a greater proven track record of success than others depending on the person seeking therapy and specifics of their needs. Different approaches work better for different people and also with different approaches working better for different disorders or issues. The amount of time it takes for counseling to be effective varies. There are longer term therapies, there are brief therapies, and what's recommended is generally specific to the situation.

Brief therapy is currently one of the most common types of therapy, both because insurance often limits the number of sessions that are covered, so the therapist and client are working under time constraints, and because often the most therapeutic thing for the client is simply being heard. Oftentimes, that was what was needed the most for the client to put their concerns into perspective, and they do not find they need more than a few sessions. This varies greatly, depending on why a particular client is seeking therapy, however...more intensive issues may require more intensive therapy. A person who is a victim of chronic, long-term abuse, for instance, is different than a person who is feeling overwhelmed at work and would like some resources on handling stress. A couple doing marriage counseling is different from a child with Asperger's Syndrome who has anxiety from being bullied at school. Grief counseling is different than people seeking treatment for eating disorders or OCD. People seek therapy for all different reasons.

Those for whom therapy is most helpful tend to be those who are committed to working on their own improvement and who are personally invested in improving. Most people who seek out therapy independently are, that's why they seek out therapy to begin with. The former SO I mentioned earlier was an example of a person who is not likely to get much out of therapy. He was averse to doing anything on his own, in terms of working on his own issues. He treated weekly CBT sessions like taking a dose of medication...it was supposed to work like magic all on its own. Therapy isn't like that in general...and cognitive-behavioral therapy certainly isn't. It requires you to actively work on changing your maladaptive thought patterns, and he wasn't willing to do that. So therapy was not useful to him...he wanted a magic cureall that doesn't exist. And some disorders and issues simply respond better to therapy than others. There are certain psychological conditions that do not typically respond particularly meaningfully to therapy, but where other treatment is more beneficial, however, therapy has shown evidence-based results for a great many psych disorders and emotional issues.

For therapy to be most beneficial, it's also imperative that the therapist and client be well-suited to one another. Because a bond of client/therapist trust and empathy is critical, if it's just not a good fit, personality-wise, and the client isn't comfortable, it's not going to be as effective.
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Old 05-16-2015, 07:47 PM
 
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I have a sister and a male friend who each benefited a lot from the Behavioral Therapy technique that irootoo mentioned.
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Old 05-16-2015, 07:59 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,412,743 times
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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is very popular right now. Because, like most behaviorally-based treatments, it shows measurable/empirical results in a typically more compact period of time, insurance companies tend to not balk at covering it as much as some other therapeutic approaches. It's also typically a shorter-term treatment course, addresses specific concerns, and has been shown to effectively help clients to overcome a fairly significant range of maladaptive behavior.
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Old 05-18-2015, 07:16 PM
 
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Many different types of people do therapy, social workers, bachelors/masters/doctorate [PhD, PsyD] in psychology, teachers, nurse practitioners, etc. The vast majority of psychiatrists do medication management, in large cities you can find psychiatrists that do therapy. Some helpful hints, don't expect to feel warm and fuzzy with your therapist, you're not getting good therapy if that's the case, they're not there to be your friend, you are in treatment. The therapist is there to help you learn more about your thought process, many times you will feel judged but therapy is all about being ready for change, and change is difficult. Don't have "chat" sessions. You need to set the agenda and stay goal directed, therapists aren't mind readers, and there's no magic approach. Most therapists size up the patient and adjust their approach accordingly, usually a combination of cognitive behavioral, insight oriented and the newest craze is called ACT, which builds on your strengths. PhDs and PsyDs have the best training in how to do various therapies, but again, some are duds but that's where I personally would start unless you get a good recommendation for another practitioner. Therapy can be very helpful, I was in "analysis" for a year and the ultimate issue that freed me was not what I started out to accomplish and it was difficult, I hated the therapist at times because she was making me look at things that had been very hurtful to me during my growing up years but it lead me to the primary issue which looking back, was a total surprise. Also, conflicts with the therapist can be used therapeutically because they signal an underlying psychological issue that probably has nothing to do with the therapist, but everything to do with you. Sometimes situations occur with the therapist that mimic your life outside of the therapist's office, another helpful tool to explore communication, conflict and readiness for change. Good luck.
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Old 05-25-2015, 01:11 PM
 
Location: Springboro, Ohio
10 posts, read 12,856 times
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I have been in counseling since 2012 and it has always helped me. I started it right after my Daddy passed away to help deal with my grief which was a success and then continued as a means to enhance the success of medication therapy. Since then i have had ups and downs but I can walk in there feeling down and out and walk out feeling like a new woman. Its nice having an objective person to talk to and to validate your thoughts and feelings. They will also give you constructive criticism when needed yet still remain understanding, compassionate and non judgemental. They will advocate for you and in general just make you feel like you have someone who is looking out for your best interest. Its definately not a quick fix! For some, It takes time to build the relationship and to open up enough so that your counselor can get to know your quirks. Eventually they will become familiar with your specific emotional needs and will be able to quickly redirect any self destructive thoughts and feelings you may have and cause you to begin exploring other options on your own. An added perk is that Counselors and Therapists are also very resourceful so if you are in need of any sort of public or other assistance....they can usually help with that as well.
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