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If you're only in your twenties, yeah LOL, you'll probably say they're the best years of your life. For those of us older, we'll have a much bigger picture to compare the decades.
My forties were my best period (so far). The twenties were free and easy, but also sort of a waste of time and unproductive. The thirties were a time of transition. So, forties first, teens second, thirties third, and 20's in fourth place.
During my teens, I was self absorbed and hedonistic and I wasted a lot of time chasing gratification and yet always restless and never really satisfied.
In my twenties I flipped the script upon entry into motherhood, and sacrificed everything of myself to the needs of others. I was not very happy, but I thought that's what it meant to grow up...basically accepting that all of your fun is in your past and it's just a long hard slog from here.
In my thirties, I started saying, "Heck that!" and seeking some enjoyment in life for myself. This put my marriage on a road to ruin, unfortunately. Not because I was going back to being completely self absorbed or cheating on my ex or anything, but because he lives in "long, hard slog to the grave" mode, and I needed some light and color and happiness. He belittled me for wanting to be "happy" (I can still hear the word spoken in his mocking tone.) He wanted me to sit every day and hear him go on and on about how terrible everything is, and be a companion to his misery, and I wasn't having it. The more I rejected that, the more he acted out in violence and anger and destructive desperation, until we finally broke up.
The years since then, my ages 36-39 have been the best so far. I've had a great time, but I've been trying to find and hold a balance between my commitments to myself and my commitments to other people.
"Best years of our lives" are different for everyone. By and large my 20s sucked. I had a much better third decade than second decade! My 40s have sucked, too
My 20s were just hellish. My 30s showed steady improvement. I'm a year or two into my 40s and I can honestly say my life is wonderful - I wake up every morning wondering how it's possible that I'm this happy, frankly.
I have three pillars in my life, I think: Friends/Family (the most important one), my dogs and my love of books and writing. Those are the things that drive me. I've been able to find a health balance for focusing on those things, and I think that is key to my current happiness.
For me it was late 20s. I was too stupid in my early 20s, still cared somewhat what other people thought of me, to much into partying which is actually pretty boring (same thing over and over), there were some marvellous aspects fo that time, but late 20s was better.
For me it was late 20s. I was too stupid in my early 20s, still cared somewhat what other people thought of me, to much into partying which is actually pretty boring (same thing over and over), there were some marvellous aspects fo that time, but late 20s was better.
It's been three years since I posted this. I've come a long ways in terms of self-realization since then. I would still say my early twenties were the best time of my life so far. My late twenties were the worst, largely because I moved back to my small hometown, allowed my fundamentalist Christian parents to dictate everything in my life, went back in the closet about my sexuality, did ex-gay conversion therapy, etc. So far my early thirties have been an improvement over my late twenties though I still am not as happy as I was during my early twenties. Much of what is holding me back right now is the slew of poor decisions made during my late twenties. So far my thirties have been marked by increased self-confidence and slowly getting to that point where I care less what people think. I would say I am a few years behind my biological age in terms of social development.
One thing I've learned is that time always moves forward and we will never be satisfied or fulfilled chasing nostalgia.
My best years were in my mid to late 30's. I was my most fit, looked better, juggled life better, and acquired more wisdom. Wouldn't re-live my 20's unless I could take more smarts with me.
One thing I've learned is that time always moves forward and we will never be satisfied or fulfilled chasing nostalgia.
Agreed. The key to a happier life is to live in the moment. Harping on the past is counterproductive.
And kudos to you on the progress you've made thus far.
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