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OP here... No, wasn't about being outside my comfort zone, etc. I've been seeing her for a year and a half for family issues. She's been seeing only me, not my family. She offered to see a member of my family and I had to sign a paper. It was a one-time thing. She met with him and went ahead and attempted to arrange for a different future meeting in her office, three of us and she would make four, asking this family member first then coming to me afterwards. When I bristled she made an issue out of it but frankly she betrayed my trust. Family member was iffy, not really up for it. I'm not up for it. My husband thinks she overstepped herself. When I expressed my reasons, they bounced off her, she didn't think she did anything wrong. Instead she wanted to talk about my issues, why didn't I want to sit and mend fences in her office. I feel that I gave her leeway (the proverbial inch) and she took the yard.
I handled it in email this morning. I did a 1) 2) 3) My feelings were all out there. But she's like flypaper, hard to get rid off. She wants me to call for an appointment but I feel very, VERY done with her.
I was taught by a friend, a therapist for decades ...that you really don't have to say
much to people...
they/we really know what we did improperly and could have done better...
that's what our conscience is for.
I would simply not go anymore period...she will know she made a boo-boo.
My opinion.
Any haircutter, massage therapist, your regular mechanic always know
deep down why someone has not come back...it is part of the biz.
Some excuse may be made up...but I'm talking about deep down they know...we know.
Some may not agree, I have found it true in me.
OP here... No, wasn't about being outside my comfort zone, etc. I've been seeing her for a year and a half for family issues. She's been seeing only me, not my family. She offered to see a member of my family and I had to sign a paper. It was a one-time thing. She met with him and went ahead and attempted to arrange for a different future meeting in her office, three of us and she would make four, asking this family member first then coming to me afterwards. When I bristled she made an issue out of it but frankly she betrayed my trust. Family member was iffy, not really up for it. I'm not up for it. My husband thinks she overstepped herself. When I expressed my reasons, they bounced off her, she didn't think she did anything wrong. Instead she wanted to talk about my issues, why didn't I want to sit and mend fences in her office. I feel that I gave her leeway (the proverbial inch) and she took the yard.
I handled it in email this morning. I did a 1) 2) 3) My feelings were all out there. But she's like flypaper, hard to get rid off. She wants me to call for an appointment but I feel very, VERY done with her.
When you're done, you're done.
Don't let anyone talk you out of it; there are many therapists and not every one is a good fit.
You don't "fire" a therapist, you just pursue treatment with a different one, if it's not a beneficial match.
Suggesting things you are uncomfortable with isn't necessarily a sign of a client/therapist mismatch or disconnect, however. There are a lot of variables.
More than that, if therapy isn't hard work, if you don't hear things that make you uncomfortable and that you don't want to hear, then its odds on your therapy is just a way to pass time. Its not getting anything done. Its certainly not actual therapy.
A therapist who pulls punches so that you "like" them is like a personal trainer who lets you decide how much exercise you will do today.
If you're on a completely different wavelength to the therapist - as someone said above - that's a different matter.
OP, did you sign a contract when you began therapy? Because some therapists do require that. So you'd have to review the terms of the contract. Some therapists even go so far as to require the patient to have a "goodbye" session, if they want to discontinue. This seems to be borderline unethical, because a) some therapists can and will use that session to talk/manipulate the patient out of leaving, and b) it's questionable whether they can require the client to spend their own money on an extra session just to say they're terminating therapy. But if you want to quit with your current therapist, just say so at the end of the session. Just say it's your last session. Or call and say you've decided to discontinue, if there's no contract saying you can't do that.
edit: just read your recent post. She can't make you come in for another session, so just tell her you're moving on. Too many therapists will use their skills to try to manipulate the client into continuing, which is completely unethical. Don't fall for it. Be cordial, but firm.
I switched therapists because, after thinking long and hard about it, she didn't really understand me and seemed to busy to take the time. She also had a strong personality, too strong for me.
I switched therapists because, after thinking long and hard about it, she didn't really understand me and seemed to busy to take the time. She also had a strong personality, too strong for me.
We banged heads too much.
Seems like a good move. We stopped going to ours because she always was late to our appointments ( walking into the building late), couldn't stop herself from talking phone calls or checking texts while in session, and loved to talk about herself. You would have to interrupt her to get a word in. When we stopped going, she never did follow up with a call or email. Unprofessional and led me to believe that she didn't care all that much. Her personality was quite strong as well.
Our best therapist was a gal in her late 20 s. She was quite passionate about her work and worked very hard. Sometimes I think therapy burns some folks out and they see you as a paycheck.
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