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I guess I just have a basic expectation that people should be consistent, and if they change, there should be a true turning point in their thinking and opinions, and not just going along with how the wind blows.
Maybe there was a true turning point. Just because you don't know about it doesn't mean it didn't happen.
I recognize the possibility of that. But I guess I'm doubting that out of say, 20 people, that all 20 of them had a true turning point. Maybe a handful, perhaps 6-8 of them, but statistically, not all of them could have. I believe than many of them are just going along with what is "cool." In the 80s I guess it was "cool" to make fun of people and accuse them of being gay. Now it's cool to have a rainbow in your status and say how happy you are about gay marriage...
So your problem is that you don't think they actually hold the opinions they profess to hold, or your problem is that you don't think they SHOULD hold opinions different than ones they held formerly in life?
Neither. I'm just finding it curious, and wondered if others have seen people like this as well. It's just that for someone to do such a huge about-face, I kind of think there should be some reason. If I had ever been so cruel and so vocal about hating gay people, and if today I chose to publicly post pro-gay sentiments, I would feel the need to explain, saying something like "I know I used to be very vocal, and I've even hurt people calling them gay, but today I've grown, and I feel differently." But that's me. But I wouldn't have been so public and vocal about such things in the first place.
Just to compare it with another situation: There is a guy on my friend list who is in recovery from pretty severe alcoholism. He regularly posts supportive things toward other people trying to stay sober, and inspiring quotes that reflect how much better it's been to have a life with faith and sobriety. Since most of us knew him as a drunken party-animal who always talked about beer and partying, he (rightly) felt the need to post a few times about how many of us knew him when he was different, and how he went through a turning point. I respect that.
I never bullied or tormented anyone, but I did stand by quietly in grammar school when a girl in our class was relentlessly teased by others. When she friended my on facebook, like 30 years later, I felt the need to message her, apologizing for not speaking up to defend her as a kid, so that when I "like" or comment on her posts in the future, I won't appear to be a hypocrite. It would be weird for me to just start "liking" her posts and being friendly online toward her without saying that and acknowledging it. So I guess if I had spent years yelling "d_ _ _ _" and accusing people of being gay and telling them to kill themselves, I'd probably want to explain my self before posting love wins and rainbows.
I believe it's of the utmost importance to be consistent, and if not consistent, to explain the reasons to people, even if they don't ask, because they may be thinking it.
People about-face on anything at all whenever its politically expedient for them to do so. Last year it was undocumented immigrants (nee illegal aliens). Right now its homosexuals. By the time the 2016 election campaigns get into full swing the crowd will be on a whole different tandem.
I don't know anybody like that. Of the people I knew earlier in life who I still know as adults, the ones who were dicks and bullies then are still dicks and bullies. If they didn't think being gay was "cool," then, they don't now.
Yep. One reality of life that is often overlooked is that people do NOT change. Some people may recognize and acknowledge to themselves that they've got bad behaviors or bad traits, and they may choose to work on that. But once an a-hole, always an a-hole! That aspect of themselves is never gonna go away. It may lay dormant at times, but it will always be there.
I definitely wasn't a bully, but my views on issues from when I was in High School to today have changed. For example, I am much more anti-war than I was when I was 16. No major turning point, I just evolved over time to my position today, based on learning new things and greater understanding of the world around me. They could be like that.
I don't think anyone is taught to 'hate' homosexuals. For many people dislike of them is innate. Its not homomphobia. They are not afraid (phobia) of homosexuals. They simply don't like them because homosexuals want to have sex with their own sex and this is not biologically natural. In addition, due to promiscuity, they spread a lot of diseases, some of which are incurable.
The CDC last year did a survey of 35,500 people who self identified and 96% identified themselves as heterosexual. 2.2% identified themselves as gay, lesbian, or bi sexual. Its not one out of 10 people are homosexual. That is an urban myth.
While I've put the resentment behind me for the most part, it did bug me, just a little, that all these people who tortured me, saying I was a lesbian, and how that was such a horrible thing, are now openly celebrating gay rights. Part of me wishes I'd saved the disgusting notes I used to get on my locker, so I could post them on the pages of these people to point out their hypocrisy. (Of course, I would never do that, even if I had saved them, because I detest online drama, but the thought it still in my mind).
Please don't jump in with the usual CD responses like "why do you even care what people on facebook say?" or "why do you hang on to all this resentment after all these years?" Like I said, I really don't hang onto resentment from the past, but you never forget when someone hurts you badly, especially at a young age, even if you have forgiven or otherwise out it behind you. It's just like a little scar from an old injury--it no longer hurts, but it's still there. I'm just mildly annoyed by it, a little amused too, and, well, curious about it.
TracySam, I went through something similar while growing up. I personally don't know of anybody who was once a homophobic bully who now embraces gay rights. But if I did, I would definitely call them out on their hypocrisy. I would say something like "You used to be so proudly homophobic!" or something along those lines. Them now supposedly being pro gay rights does not change the damage they inflicted in the past.
Yep. One reality of life that is often overlooked is that people do NOT change. Some people may recognize and acknowledge to themselves that they've got bad behaviors or bad traits, and they may choose to work on that. But once an a-hole, always an a-hole! That aspect of themselves is never gonna go away. It may lay dormant at times, but it will always be there.
Indeed. Personalities generally remain (relatively) stable throughout the lifespan - basic developmental psych.
Behavior may change, if there is sufficient motivation and reinforcement to change it. Personalities, not so much, barring things like head trauma and certain other mental health issues.
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