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Not all guys are cut out to be platonic friends with women. Maybe cultivate your guy friends and disregard the girls for now. Be polite to them, but that's all. And the damaged ones? Never talk to them except for business purposes. Don't eat lunch with them, don't discuss your private life with them, and dont let them discuss their personal life with you.
I could have written this post. I am 34 and I have a hard time not caring about what other people think of me. Total strangers insult me for no reason it is frustrating.
Just make up your mind that for just one day you won't let it bother you. Then just repeat it the next day. One day at a time will let you overcome this!
It took me until I was 32 to STOP CARING what others thought/said about/to/of me. {some 20 years ago}
Now I am too old to care either.....LOL.
I won't go into here what caused the "epiphany" that I had, but it started with my parents...hey, it's MY life, and I will be HOW I AM, WHO I AM and if people don't like it, it is THEIR problem, not mine. Other People waste too much time on how others live.
SO, How do I tell you to NOT worry anymore without your own epiphany? I don't know. I can't tell you to "just get over it" as that doesn't always work, but that's what I'd like to say to you.
Pass on ANY person{s} anymore who don't fit into a friendship role without placing stipulations on you...you will find you don't need them in your life!
You will meet a lot of people throughout your life. Some will be mean, dumb, unstable, undependable, selfish, etc. Some will be fine, but you just won't have anything in common with them.
But there will be a few that are cut out to be your friends; some briefly and some for a long time. Those who are friend material are the one's you should respect enough to value their opinion. Thus you shouldn't worry at all about pleasing the vast majority of people who happen into your life. They are not meant to be in your life or your thoughts, so don't waste your life on them. There are others out there who need what you bring to life, so give it to them instead.
People can be very cruel, usually the weak ones who have been treated like dirt act the same way towards others.
Omit "weak" and I agree. Anyone is susceptible regardless of perceived strength/weakness. Go into an inner-city school sometime and observe the behavior of the kids there. Do unto others what has been done to you....
Just get older. The longer you live the more you realize that the only person whose opinion matters is you. Meanwhile, stop looking for drama in every interaction.
LOTRfan, I suggest as a possible remedy to force yourself to do something regularly that defies social convention. I too struggle(d) with this problem, as I think we all do to some extent (barring psychopathy), so I decided to grow a long beard and long hair, partially as a way to say "**** you" to society at large. I committed to the beard while in college and still have it at age 29. I termed it a way to weed out the superficial, and while it in fact does attract unsolicited (and entirely superficial) comments at times, they are predictable and kind of "in your wheelhouse". It's emblematic of my personal ongoing effort at a compromise between my "nice" nature and the fact that society does in fact require one to be a bit of an ******* to survive. For you, it may be martial arts or cycling in the midst of traffic (where you'll have to be both aware of and somewhat indifferent to the negative opinions of drivers) or whatever else instead, but anything that helps to cultivate assertiveness serves the purpose. And while you ultimately may still care just as much about the "troubling" opinions of others, you may find that the problematic situations such as those you described in the OP just happen to become less frequent, thus providing you with an alternate "accidental" solution (of sorts) for what ails your psyche.
It bothers you because you feel unjustly belittled. You feel angry/bad/powerless when these things happen. And you really want people to like and accept you. I'd say you have every right to feel bad about being treated badly.
But if your friend says you are too sensitive, then I'd pay attention to that. Here's how I got better at being too sensitive: I walked the walk. That is, I pretended to be unaffected by criticism or mockery. I didn't moan about it to any one, or cry myself to sleep. I simply ignored it. I got stronger. I learned that others get cut down, put in their place, and become objects of derision too. I learned that I could empathize with others because of my experiences.
So, you don't have to pretend anything, but stay classy. Don't complain. Hold your head up high. Think positive thoughts. You don't have to apologize, or be defensive, or complain.
And find better people to associate with. That woman sounds like she's a mess.
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