How much do you care about your success relative to your peers? (anxiety, blames)
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I'm trying to figure out whether I have an abnormal amount of insecurity about my success in life. When I hear about my peers outachieving me, it gives me a sinking feeling in my stomach. It's like I when other people succeed, my sense of my own success takes a hit. I remember seeing on Facebook that one of my friends got into a competitive academic program that I doubt I could ever get into, and that made me feel awful, whereas I should've felt happy for him. Similar examples abound. Now that I'm in the working world, the thing I care about more than anything else is whether I'm making more money and working for more prestigious companies than my friends. There have been several recent times where I was catching up with old acquaintences and found it an unpleasant experience because I hate hearing about other people doing well.
Kinda a saaad post....You know you can be very happy in life without comparing yourself to others and what they've done in their lives.
If you would just live your life for yourself, you could be at peace.
Quit setting your self worth by what others do.
You could be happy then...and happy for others as well.
A better job, or a better wage...does not make a better person.
Unlike Mr De Botton who I think blames it on capitalism or some such, this is something all of us as tribal by nature primates do. Sometimes the criteria is materialistic success, sometimes other things, but with us primates it's always some kind of criteria by which we organize our social hierarchies. (and all humans organize themselves into hierarchies despite the protestations of some allegedly "enlightened" types)
But hey, look on the bright side, you're rational and/or aware enough to know that something is wrong with caring about it. That's a step in the right direction possibly."
What is success? Having a job that pays six figures where you work constantly and are pulling your hair out from all of the stress?
Or is success having a job that pays $40,000 where you don't take fancy vacations or have a McMansion, but there is little stress, you don't mind going to work, and have plenty of time to spend with your family?
As I get older, I realize the latter is more desirable. Being content with your life is success, not just making a bunch of money.
What is success? Having a job that pays six figures where you work constantly and are pulling your hair out from all of the stress?
Or is success having a job that pays $40,000 where you don't take fancy vacations or have a McMansion, but there is little stress, you don't mind going to work, and have plenty of time to spend with your family?
As I get older, I realize the latter is more desirable. Being content with your life is success, not just making a bunch of money.
I agree in spirit, but 40K is too low for peace of mind if you have a family.
I've always been quite successful with whatever I've set my mind to. Sort of like a professional ice skater - they make it look so easy!
But IT IS NOT EASY! I invest a lot of time and HARD WORK into whatever it is I am doing. Sometimes years of hard work.
So if I were you, I would further investigate these other successful people. See what it is that makes them successful! Maybe they spend all their time reading books, learning new things, fully understanding things. If a competitive sport, maybe they spend hours each day practicing?
I have done that playing pool - practiced EVERY DAY for an hour or two - and after a couple of years of doing this, won first place in some pool tournaments. It was hard work and lots of it which made me successful. Anyone can do that if they choose to.
I've never been thr type to compare myself to others...
Actually though IRL I get quite a few people who tell me I make everything I do look so easy......
It's not.
While others are out hanging around at bars, hooking up online & generally wasting their time-
I'm working hard, studying my craft, formulating new things, & acquiring new dreams to accomplish......
It's like that amazing quote....
I actually have it framed:
Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
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