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Old 07-26-2015, 12:43 PM
 
Location: The Carolinas
2,511 posts, read 2,815,964 times
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I've been in similar situations before. "C'mon. Have another. Catch up!".

If I wasn't in the drinking mood, I'd just crack one open, slowly head to the bathroom, dump it out, and fill it with water and drink water all night. Nobody ever noticed.

Frankly, though, if it makes you that uncomfortable, you might not ought to be hanging out with this group anytime after lunch.
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Old 07-26-2015, 12:53 PM
 
Location: Chicago area
18,757 posts, read 11,787,488 times
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Wow when I read the title to your thread I some how knew it would be about drinkers trying to encourage non drinkers or social drinkers into their over indulgent patterns. The only reason I can come up with is that it's as natural as eating to them and it's awkward eating a meal in front of someone that doesn't want a plate(?) I literally go months without drinking anything. I'm also very high risk for breast cancer and don't want to put myself in harms way by over indulging. I have these very generous wonderful friends that will pour me a glass of wine every time I decline the invitation. I've learned to sip it the entire evening I'm there for a visit because as soon as it's empty they will fill it up again. I love them to death but I will never be as into drinking as they are. It's a good compromise for me to be in their world socially and controlling my intake so meticulously. It's just their way of being good hosts. It's different in my house. If you want something else I'm more then happy to get it for you, but no one is allowed to overindulge. I'm done with alcoholics making my life uncomfortable.
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Old 07-26-2015, 01:50 PM
 
2,609 posts, read 2,504,547 times
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Quote:
some feel exceedingly uncomfortable, like they are being judged because they do drink.
I think this is usually it. And let's be honest, many times, people who drink enough do start making stupid choices and putting themselves in "judgeable" positions

I rarely drink, and it makes other uncomfortable and they try to get me to join them. It's not supposed to be a spectator sport (drinking), but it probably feels like one if one person in the group isn't drinking. I usually just say something like "I'm the designated driver" because it seems to make people feel less self-conscious. One of my big surprises of adulthood was just how frequently and how much so many adults drink.
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Old 07-26-2015, 06:21 PM
 
4,761 posts, read 14,280,752 times
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FYI - I don't drink, but like to play pool. Several times I have gone into a bar, ordered a soda pop, played pool, then gotten a VERY cold stare from the bartender and customers at the bar.

They seem to think I am an undercover alcohol enforcement person there to see if they are violating any liquor laws!
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Old 07-27-2015, 06:42 AM
 
2,513 posts, read 2,788,081 times
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Isn't that what "keeping up with the Jones'" is? Peer pressure?

I generally don't drink, and if I do, its not much. Those who know me know I'm not interested in getting drunk.
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Old 07-27-2015, 07:15 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,901,366 times
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Those who do it are seeking affirmation and validation. They don't feel confident in their own actions unless EVERYONE around them is doing the same thing, and they believe that anyone who chooses not to do it is invalidating and judging their choice.
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Old 07-27-2015, 09:33 AM
 
6,039 posts, read 6,050,928 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by animalcrazy View Post
Wow when I read the title to your thread I some how knew it would be about drinkers trying to encourage non drinkers or social drinkers into their over indulgent patterns. The only reason I can come up with is that it's as natural as eating to them and it's awkward eating a meal in front of someone that doesn't want a plate(?) I literally go months without drinking anything. I'm also very high risk for breast cancer and don't want to put myself in harms way by over indulging. I have these very generous wonderful friends that will pour me a glass of wine every time I decline the invitation. I've learned to sip it the entire evening I'm there for a visit because as soon as it's empty they will fill it up again. I love them to death but I will never be as into drinking as they are. It's a good compromise for me to be in their world socially and controlling my intake so meticulously. It's just their way of being good hosts. It's different in my house. If you want something else I'm more then happy to get it for you, but no one is allowed to overindulge. I'm done with alcoholics making my life uncomfortable.
HA! I had the same instinct too when I saw the tread title.

I've seen this a fair amount too. Binge drinking in your 40s is so much more ridiculous than it ever is in your 20s. I really think some people just don't grow up...not that growing up = not binge drinking, but growing up = not caring if others don't join you.
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Old 07-27-2015, 09:36 AM
 
6,039 posts, read 6,050,928 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
Those who do it are seeking affirmation and validation. They don't feel confident in their own actions unless EVERYONE around them is doing the same thing, and they believe that anyone who chooses not to do it is invalidating and judging their choice.
Could not agree more.

My BIL is an (almost) 50 year old binge drinker, possibly a full blown alkie, who knows. I don't see him more than a couple times a year at most.

One time he was making drinks...vodka and KOOL AID over ice in red Solo cups. He offered me one and I declined and grabbed a beer instead. Well, you would have thought I killed his dog. He was insulted that I didn't want his diabetes-in-a-cup and thought me a snob. Whatever.
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Old 07-27-2015, 10:24 AM
 
Location: North Dakota
10,350 posts, read 13,925,188 times
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Interesting points of view. I guess I had figured people moved beyond the binge drinking stage in their 20s. Apparently not.
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Old 07-30-2015, 07:54 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles area
14,016 posts, read 20,898,193 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by animalcrazy View Post
Wow when I read the title to your thread I some how knew it would be about drinkers trying to encourage non drinkers or social drinkers into their over indulgent patterns. The only reason I can come up with is that it's as natural as eating to them and it's awkward eating a meal in front of someone that doesn't want a plate..........
Very insightful. I had never thought of it exactly that way before, but it makes a lot of sense to me. Heavy drinkers usually choose other heavy drinkers for friends, so they may have relatively little experience with people who drink very little or not at all. They want their own habits validated and confirmed. "See? Everyone drinks like this. It's just normal."
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