Do you ever forgive? (husband, issues, woman, feelings)

[cam1957]

I don't even think the acts mentioned should even be used with the word forgiveness. Those are a part of everyday life as we know it.

When life slaps you in the face so hard, you'll truly understand the meaning of the word.

[almost3am]

I always forgive. I may not go out of my way to talk to you or ever see you, but in the end I forgive people. I you say you are sorry, I have a hard time not forgiving you.

Also, there are people I don't like and don't want to be around, but it isn't because I hold a grudge against them, I just don't like them

[CSD610]

Originally Posted by LongNote

Do you ever forgive? How long does it usually take you to get over something someone has done that offended you, like someone cutting you off in traffic or being rude to you or bumping into you without saying excuse me? Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years? How long (if ever) does it usually take you to forget about it and to stop wanting revenge?

If you seek revenge or harbor ill feelings for the things you listed above you should seriously consider seeking professional therapy to find out why.

[LongNote]

Originally Posted by CSD610

If you seek revenge or harbor ill feelings for the things you listed above you should seriously consider seeking professional therapy to find out why.

Because I can't let anyone Mod cut.. I've found that people will treat you however you allow them to. If you make it clear that you're not going to be bullied, people come to realization that they should back off...

[greywar]

No. I dont forgive unless the person has done something to merit it. Why would I? Thats like forgiving milk for being bad, and taking a drink of it. Bah.

If you steal from me, and later ask forgiveness....pay me back what you stole with interest.

If you injure me in some way, DO something to earn forgiveness. Wash my car, help me when I need it, something.

Without restitution or true remorse with some practical follow through, people should not forgive others.

[silibran]

Holding onto grudges, especially about small stuff, just allows the offender to live in your head. Sometimes, if the "offense" was really bad, I do have trouble letting it go. But I work on that as part of my religious commitment. Holding grudges wastes a lot of mental energy. And it can eat you up inside.

I do let minor things go. If I run into hostility consistently with someone, I try to be wary, and I don't spend a lot of time with them. But I almost feel sorry for people who have to go around proving themselves better by belittling me. Its almost pathetic really.

So, I let most things go unless there is a really big problem. Then I have to do work on myself.

Remember, you probably want forgiveness from time to time yourself. Jesus said, "forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive our trespassers." In other words, if want to be forgiven, we should be willing to forgive.

[BusyMeAK]

I try to avoid focusing on and reliving bad moments, but I never forget. People never have another chance with me.

[Adrian71]

The quote about holding onto a hot coal actually didn't come from the Buddha, but it's a powerful illustration of why holding onto anger is pointless. It's one of the things I've struggled with the hardest in my life. I used to think that if I let go of a grudge, I was letting the other person off the hook. But how did my grudge hurt the other person? All it did was make me miserable and let the other person live rent-free in my head. Forgive, move on, and cut toxic people out of your life.

[In_Correct]

Originally Posted by LongNote

Do you ever forgive? How long does it usually take you to get over something someone has done that offended you, like someone cutting you off in traffic or being rude to you or bumping into you without saying excuse me? Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years? How long (if ever) does it usually take you to forget about it and to stop wanting revenge?

It depends on what they do. If it is something "tiny" then I MIGHT forgive them. Usually they are completely unaware that they did any thing wrong and that It ended up being unintentional. The friendship is not worth throwing away just be cause I got mad and then decide to stay mad.

However, if it is a major, RUINED MY LIFE thing, and they KNOW they did it, and they would do it again, obviously:










Then I do not forgive. I try to forget, but I do not forgive. "Forgetting" (not thinking about it any more) ...
I do not seek revenge.

Their stupidity usually caves in on itself. It might take YEARS, but I get lots of popcorn and wait for the entertainment to happen.

Examples are people whose shady activities finally wound up with a criminal record; a man finally standing up for him self by divorcing a cheating gold digging woman; some body who tore up my car claiming to be a mechanic, ended up damaging her own car. I moved forward and found a family run garage who saved my car. That woman's car is currently sheeted. Then their other car broke down too.

They did come back to offer the closest thing to an apology (by saying "They felt bad; No hard Feelings, etc.") but I think that they only wanted rides which I said no.



As far as tiny things, such as some body acting withdrawn around me, causing me to think that they are mad at ME, or if some body forgets my birth day, I will try to forget in about two months. If they keep doing it after I have given them a not her chance, then

I did not get any reply to my last text message. I have stopped using my phone and I have no plans to use it any time soon. I powered it down until further not ice.

[tijlover]

Originally Posted by Billy_J

I pretty much let things go right away. I learned a LONG time ago that people will get what is coming to them from someone else eventually - so I don't need to do a thing!

This happens so often, I'm thinking there really is something to the "karma" business!

Just admit it! You're lazy and lacking courage!