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Perhaps that's because the Community is mourning too?
OP let me ask you a question.
Go way back in history, to the Stoneage.
Do you think humans managed to thrive because they weren't empathetic with others? Or because they WERE?
Going by your standards, we'd all still be planning to slaughter the next village over for their corn, instead of bartering for it like civilized human beings who know what its like to suffer.
How long would the human race have lasted if village 1 went about slaughtering villages 2 thru 124?
What STOPPED that from happening?
What inspired chemists to research antibiotics? Politicians to end wars?
>>>HUMANITY<<<<
Or, empathy - call it what you like, niceness, whatever - but its what has enabled us to crawl out of the swamp into a Global Community that strives to improve.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,742,544 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere
I really just have to vent... I don't know if it's a local thing or a regional thing or a southern thing or an American thing, but all the "niceless" everywhere lately is really giving me a pain. It's such a cliché...
Nearly every news story on the local news features someone fake-crying about a situation (fire, theft, death, etc.) followed by a GOFUNDME link given by the newscaster. Someone gets sick, goes missing, or dies locally, and there are balloon releases, candlelight vigils, the wearing of team colors, and of course the ever-present fundraisers and charity drives. This "in honor of" and that "in honor of." Seriously, balloon releases just cause pollution, and wildlife gets caught in the string when they land.
But it automatically makes everyone who does this so "nice." (no fund drives for the poor wildlife)
Other than the money (and, honestly, most people already have health insurance and even life insurance in place to cover expenses; do those who usually complain about being poor themselves really have all this money to give to strangers), how do such symbolic gestures help other than making givers feel smug? I guess it helps "to know people care," but money won't bring a loved one back.
It seems a sympathy card or concrete assistance (meals delivered when one is too bereft to cook) is out of fashion because it's not as impressive on TV or social media. It's become "passé" and replaced with melodramatic public displays in which people participate en masse. It also seems one particular event is singled out for lavish outpourings while others, for whatever reason, go unmentioned entirely.
Can someone explain this recent social phenomenon or at least commiserate with my irritation at it?
(bracing for feedback that I'm not "nice")
I think it is all about overexposure. Something getting more attention than it should will naturally run up against the nerves of some people.
I would take this as a prime example. Story; popular kid in HS sits with autistic kid. Mom of popular kid makes more out of it than it should be, all of them end up on Today show just making a super awkward experience for the autistic kid.
I haven't yet thought about it enough to be able to explain it, but I completely agree.
To begin with, I don't think much of the term "nice." It's weak, and close to meaningless.
But what really bothers me about the requests for funding - well, two things, actually. First is that usually the people seem to be mostly asking for money when the situation isn't dire. I ran across one person was posting in a forum asking for money so he could travel. And I thought, Really - with all the people losing their homes or dying from being unable to pay medical bills, you expect money to travel? And, second, it seems like we're turning into a country of beggars.
And it creates "donor fatigue" leaving the people who really need help, like Syrian refugees, out in the cold, preferring instead to help some woman who needs money for surgery for her dog.
So I'm with you!
If the woman with a dog needing surgery is an American in America she gets top billing over the Syrians. Whatever is going on now in the Middle east is Obama's concerns and not ours. None of us had any say in it. He drew his line in the sand there, not I. I wouldn't touch the place with a 200 mile long telephone pole. I lived in Libya as a kid and had my fill of it.
Over the weekend (so far), I have seen holding up a single sunflower to show solidarity, yet another variation on the seemingly limitless rubber bracelet theme, and school kids (in public school, led by teachers) painting their third left (?) fingernail purple "to raise awareness of" domestic abuse. SMH!
Another theory:
I wonder if this ritualization is taking the place of the role formerly filled by organized religion. It also encourages "congregation" (and lots of chanting).
OP - you are looking at it from the wrong viewpoint.
If you were on some hard times, say lost your home, ill health, divorce and estrangement, whatever - then you would WELCOME nice.
If you are doing just fine, A-OK thanks Jack, then you can afford to not welcome it.
I sincerely hope for your sake OP, you are never in need of the Kindness of Strangers...but if your life does take that sort of unexpected turn, THEN you will understand how important "niceness" is.
Or, as I call it, HUMANITY. We're all in this mess together.
I see I'm being scolded. Again. On another thread. By the same posters.
To clarify:
I'm not talking about concrete "help" (such as the pre-cooked dinner to the bereaved that I mention earlier; an archaic expression of sympathy), but rather the empty and frankly silly gestures of today.
As for "gofundme," my response is usually "gofundyourself," which I guess would make me a tough counselor...
I see I'm being scolded. Again. On another thread. By the same posters.
Hey, guess what - just like, you - we visit other sections of the forum, and comment and interact on threads. One thing is pretty clear - our (you're included in that term) basic personalities and values are the same, regardless of the thread or topic. If you're catching heat in various threads, it's probably because people disagree with much of your basic approach to a variety of topics.
Just to put your mind at ease, I can only speak for myself but I can assure you that I'm not following you around or looking up your posts on the forum.
On the topic at hand - Sure, people can jump on a bandwagon insincerely. But I don't try to psychoanalyze WHY people are supporting a cause, generally speaking, because I'm more concerned about keeping my own motives in line and my own values intact rather than trying to second guess others who are involved in a cause.
This is nothing new. There have been popular causes and drives and charities and missions, etc. throughout history. People have used whatever social "media" that was available at the time to "market" various causes and beliefs and goals and drives, etc. What we're seeing today is just the 21st century version of the political pamphlets of the 1700s, the town square meetings of the 1500s, the Crusades of the 1300s, etc. etc.
It's interesting to me that there are those who believe that societal groups banding together to support common goals as a social unit is somehow a new thing.
What? Politicians don't end wars, the back away and regroup, hoping for a better outcome next time. Without them, we'd have none.
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