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Old 09-20-2015, 10:30 AM
 
Location: Oregon
657 posts, read 406,347 times
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Why do people get their feelings 'hurt' by what others say? Because they 'believe' what is said to/about them. If you don't believe, then you don't emote to the statements. (or to your own thoughts).
Why are some children afraid of the 'bogyman' concept? Because they don't recognize they 'believe' the concept.
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Old 09-20-2015, 10:58 AM
 
Location: Vancouver
5,010 posts, read 580,584 times
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Our beliefs are thoughts that have been imprinted into our subconscious.
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Old 09-20-2015, 11:14 AM
 
Location: Oregon
657 posts, read 406,347 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by allthatglitters View Post
Our beliefs are thoughts that have been imprinted into our subconscious.
I like your reply."Our beliefs are thoughts...", then they function as automatically as instincts.
We know that some beliefs are false/dysfunctional. Then it behooves us to use discretion in choosing which thoughts to believe, because once believed they function automatically.
It appears we often believe automatically, that is, we don't consciously choose the thoughts we believe.
Not recognizing believing, means we were conditioned to believe automatically. What a dysfunctional habit imprinted into our subconscious mind.
Our sphincters function automatically, but we learned to regulate them volitionally, I think we ought to do the same with 'believing'. When both function automatically we have a 'mess' in both situations.

I'm all for imprinting functional beliefs in our subconscious, but its obvious that many dysfunctional beliefs have already been imprinted.
And by not recognizing believing we are unwittingly imprinting our subconscious with more dysfunctional beliefs; enough already.

Last edited by sakoz-2; 09-20-2015 at 11:32 AM..
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Old 09-20-2015, 11:53 AM
 
Location: Canada
7,668 posts, read 5,477,929 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sakoz-2 View Post
Why do people get their feelings 'hurt' by what others say? Because they 'believe' what is said to/about them.
That could be one reason, particularly if you are dealing with a stranger or acquaintance. However what if you are dealing for someone closer in your life?

For example, say you care for a relative or close friend and express that caring by being thoughtful, supportive and generous with your time when they need help i.e. you give a lot of yourself. Then that person says "I know you are only being kind to me because you want my money when I die".

Would you not feel hurt by that slap in the face even though that you know the statement to be completely untrue?
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Old 09-20-2015, 12:53 PM
 
Location: Oregon
657 posts, read 406,347 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cdnirene View Post
That could be one reason, particularly if you are dealing with a stranger or acquaintance. However what if you are dealing for someone closer in your life?

For example, say you care for a relative or close friend and express that caring by being thoughtful, supportive and generous with your time when they need help i.e. you give a lot of yourself. Then that person says "I know you are only being kind to me because you want my money when I die".

Would you not feel hurt by that slap in the face even though that you know the statement to be completely untrue?
You make my point or rather you missed my point.
Take the statement; " I know you are only being kind to me because you want my money when I die".
Isn't that statement as untrue as any bully statement? You believe they believe it.
It's not 'a slap in the face', that's your interpretation/evaluation of what you heard and you react to what you believe about the statement.
O.K. you mentioned dealing with a stranger and a relative or close friend, now let's see how that 'plays out' with oneself. Suppose you say; "I'm no good, I'm useless, nobody loves me", etc. Imagine how you would feel IF you BELIEVED those false statements. Many people 'do' believe such thoughts about themselves.

If you do have such a relative or friend, ask them;"Do you want to change your will and see if I stop being nice to you, taking care of you?"( Or maybe you better not say that.)
If I were taking care of a relative and they said that to me; I might say; "I'm sorry you believe that; do you resent my helping you? I could stop and you could hire someone, that way you know who gets your money, you will spent it on your care and my time will be freed up for other activities.'

Last edited by sakoz-2; 09-20-2015 at 01:24 PM..
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Old 09-20-2015, 02:05 PM
 
Location: Canada
7,668 posts, read 5,477,929 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sakoz-2 View Post
You make my point or rather you missed my point.
Take the statement; " I know you are only being kind to me because you want my money when I die".
Isn't that statement as untrue as any bully statement? You believe they believe it.
No, that is not what I would believe.

Now you are changing what you actually said in your opening post, the quote I responded to. Continued discussion is pointless.
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Old 09-20-2015, 03:20 PM
 
Location: Oregon
657 posts, read 406,347 times
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cdnirene, O.K. go back to the opening post and let's have another go. Don't give up so soon.
Are you assuming you already know what I will write next? (you believe your assumptions), I just want,you to 'recognize' what your doing as one of the factors that evoke your emotions.

quote: "Continued discussion is pointless." unquote. that's a 'doozy' assumption.

Last edited by sakoz-2; 09-20-2015 at 03:35 PM..
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Old 09-20-2015, 03:55 PM
 
Location: Arizona
1,599 posts, read 1,802,512 times
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Um no. If someone called me something like a racist or a liar I would be upset because those things aren't the least bit true, not because I believe them deep down. The person would likely be telling these things to other people as well, ruining my reputation.


I think you are confusing this concept with those who project, not those being bullied. The guy that constantly, without provocation, rants about how much he hates gays and how gross and sinful it is and/or constantly accuses others of being gay, is in fact on some level gay. He is so afraid others will discover this that he goes in full hate mode to distract from and cover the truth.
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Old 09-20-2015, 04:53 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
30,585 posts, read 25,041,229 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sakoz-2 View Post
Why do people get their feelings 'hurt' by what others say? Because they 'believe' what is said to/about them. If you don't believe, then you don't emote to the statements. (or to your own thoughts).
Why are some children afraid of the 'bogyman' concept? Because they don't recognize they 'believe' the concept.
I believe genuine hurt feelings caused by something said to someone, probably spring from the belief that one deserves, or is, the bad thing that is said. This might be a short term feeling, but the bad thing that is said still hurts, because it reminds us that we are not perfect and indeed quite flawed. And then there is the fear that we have of being too different from others, or too flawed or too guilty (of being ourselves). And we all desire to be loved and respected. So the insults hurt this desire.
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Old 09-20-2015, 05:36 PM
 
Location: Oregon
657 posts, read 406,347 times
Reputation: 188
Quote:
Originally Posted by allthatglitters View Post
Our beliefs are thoughts that have been imprinted into our subconscious.
A very useful definition of "beliefs", (nouns). by allthatglitters.
The verb "believing" implies that imprinting/conditioning is taking place right now.

Why the question;" How To Recognize Believing"?
When emoting, we are clearly aware of emotions, they are 'overt'. But when we 'believe', we don't always recognize we are 'covertly/subliminally believing'. If we don't recognize when believing , we may very easily believe dysfunctional/false thoughts, that's what seems too many people are doing; and so they 'hurt' themselves unwittingly by such a 'habit'. Recognition is the key to,change needless emotional suffering.
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