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I may be moving to the South as my SO is in the Air Force although totally unsure of what part yet. My SO is very excited as he has lived in the GA, SC, Saint Louis, NC and likes it. I have only lived in MA and NH so I have only visited the south. I'm worried that it may be full of church going people that just aren't my type of people. My SO just keeps talking about lower cost of living, but, I feel like that isn't the only thing to a good life so I'm concerned. Do I have some sort of phobia going on here???? I posted in another forum and seriously that did nothing, but, make me even more concerned
Are you living on base/in base housing?
If so, you're going to be with people from EVERYWHERE.
I'm a military spouse, and base living (which I did both before and after we were married - it's not true that must be married to live in all base housing, depending on how it is set up, though you will not be eligible for BAH increases to cover the dependent unless you are married) really waters down regional/cultural differences quite a bit, because your community is such a transient population, filled with people from all over the country and world. Nobody is really "from" anywhere, other than where they were raised as children (assuming they weren't military brats as kids, and in that case, also aren't really "from" any one place).
If you're concerned about culture shock, the difference between civilian and military communities is likely to pose more day-to-day challenges than even regional differences; at least, that was my experience upon entering into the military family lifestyle relatively late in the game, after many years of living a 100% civilian lifestyle.
Overall, though, if you're in a relationship where you're going to be moving wherever the military says you're going to be moving, whenever they say, you'll need to be pretty flexible. I've known spouses and partners who are not. They're seldom happy.
I think it really depends on where, in the South. The heavily Bible Belt areas can be a bit oppressive; lots of pressure at work and in social life to conform, and join a church.
Very true. And I am one of the people who have posted in the past about being asked what church I belong to. However, I found that was really only true at the office I used to work at. Since changing companies I have not been asked once. I have found a very diverse, professional group of friends and acquaintances, and have had no issue with being from the North. My friends are all from different places as well; only about a quarter are from the South.
Miss Texas Lady has some genuine good advice. That would be nice if you moved near here. She sounds like a good neighbor......
OP come
Back and post where you will he stationed when you find out..
Don't think it's a phobia..just nervous about your future. I'm from Texas, now living in Georgia. I'd feel a bit nervous if we'd have to pull up stakes and move North, East, or West
Take a deep breath and research where your going to reside.Have an open mind, take misstexasladys advice .
Goodluck sweetie.
An old man was sitting on a downtown park bench when a stranger came up to him and asked:
"I am thinking of moving here, what kind of people live here?"
The old man answered: "What kind of people live in the town you are moving from?"
The stranger answered:"Hateful miserable people, which is why I am moving from there. A bunch of busybodies and hypocrites, most useless pieces of humanity that ever walked the earth. I will be glad to get out of there"
The old man answered: "You will hate it here, those are very same kind of people that live here."
The Stranger left and soon another stranger came up to him and aked: "Because of my job I am having to relocate here. What kind of people live here?"
The old man answered: "What kind of people live in the town you are moving from?"
The stranger answered: "The most wonderful people you can ever hope to find. I really hate to move. Everybody there is kind, thoughtful and just purely loving people."
The old man smiled, stood up and reached out his hand "Welcome to our town. You are going to love it here, those are the very same kind of people that live here."
My brother was from Oklahoma and married a woman from MA. He was career military and they lived many years in Europe. When he retired and they moved back to the states, they lived in Ohio, but were close to Kentucky, where he had a job. She didn't want to live in Kentucky, because she said it would be embarrassing to tell people that's where she lived. She felt the same way about most states in the south. Seems to me it's a snobbishness more often held by some from northeastern states.
Good
I live in Louisville, without a doubt one of the coolest, most cultured and unique places Ive ever lived.
So much more freethinking and liberal than Vermont, the supposed bastion of liberalism, there can be no contest. We definitely don't want people knowing this secret because they will come en masse, and require all the improvements that made them want to move away from their 'good' place.
If you let preconceptions rule what you do, you are going to miss out on a lot of great places and people.
Travel with open heart and mind. There is a lot of great stuff in the south.
Louisville is NOT Kentucky, nor is it the South; it's a large Midwestern city with mostly transplants from other states and countries, for all practical purposes... Burlington VT and Louisville KY are in a heated contest to see who's more liberal.
Louisville is NOT Kentucky, nor is it the South; it's a large Midwestern city with mostly transplants from other states and countries, for all practical purposes... Burlington VT and Louisville KY are in a heated contest to see who's more liberal.
I honestly don't think of Kentucky as southern or midwestern and Louisville is even harder for me to figure out which it belongs to. I guess it depends on the person in Kentucky as to what they feel it is. I certainly wouldn't say Cincinnati is southern by any means but obviously there's a lot of Kentuckians living right near there. But Bowling Green (where I went to school) is near Nashville and no one will claim Bowling Green or Nashville to be in the Midwest. For a state that (for the most part) really isn't that large from north to south it really can belong to two different regions.
And deciding that Louisville "isn't Kentucky" doesn't work for the purpose of this one because I'm talking about the whole state. Also, claiming Louisville isn't the South based (seemingly in part) because of how liberal it is, that's all well and good but the South has liberal areas. Nashville's newly-elected mayor is a female progressive who's unofficially an atheist.
This is a concern. I posted another thread and people said that many southerners will ask what church you attend. I have every intention of being with my SO though that is not an issue at all. I have attended horse shows in the south and enjoyed them, but, vacationing is certainly not like living in a place.
Two years in NC, two years in AL and one year in MS and no one ever asked what church I attended. If they had asked I would have said "I don't". That really is very easy. Sometimes they might wonder if since you are new, you are looking for a church and they would welcome you to check theirs out but generally, that is someone you know a little better if it happens.
Not understanding the paranoia about church either. You just say that you don't attend church. If you are looking for a church, tell them, "No thank you, I'm good."
The religions I have had an issue with in being "pushy" were not in any of the areas where we lived in the south and that was nice. I won't be specific but 2 types come to the door and the other insists that if you don't join with them that you will for certain burn in Hell for eternity.
Maybe tackling the problem of what you will say or why you will be uncomfortable if asked if you attend church will help.
The rest of Kentucky IS southern. Trust me on this. Although I'm not sure why the southern culture is being defined largely by its religiosity, unless it's just another excuse to Christian-bash. There are other, more important issues, at play. Like considering "eating out" an actual activity and the highlight of the day/week (see where obesity rates are consistently highest).
I may be moving to the South as my SO is in the Air Force although totally unsure of what part yet. My SO is very excited as he has lived in the GA, SC, Saint Louis, NC and likes it. I have only lived in MA and NH so I have only visited the south. I'm worried that it may be full of church going people that just aren't my type of people. My SO just keeps talking about lower cost of living, but, I feel like that isn't the only thing to a good life so I'm concerned. Do I have some sort of phobia going on here???? I posted in another forum and seriously that did nothing, but, make me even more concerned
Posted in the other thread before it moved to another forum; no posts to cause concern? Probably not a phobia; out of your comfort zone. According to this article (not the first I've read on the topic), traumatic.
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I posted in another forum and seriously that did nothing, but, make me even more concerned
