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I may be moving to the South as my SO is in the Air Force although totally unsure of what part yet. My SO is very excited as he has lived in the GA, SC, Saint Louis, NC and likes it. I have only lived in MA and NH so I have only visited the south. I'm worried that it may be full of church going people that just aren't my type of people. My SO just keeps talking about lower cost of living, but, I feel like that isn't the only thing to a good life so I'm concerned. Do I have some sort of phobia going on here???? I posted in another forum and seriously that did nothing, but, make me even more concerned
It depends on where you are actually going to move. Bigger cities obviously have a greater mix of people, meaning some churchgoers and some not, but if you're going to be living on a base anyway, you're going to have people from all over the place, transplanted there -- just like you. In general, the smaller and more out of the way a community is, the churchier. Do you know where in the South?
All this talk about people in the south constantly asking you "what church do you go to?" is odd (never have been to the south myself).
What about those who aren't Christian (i.e., Muslim, Jewish, etc.)?
Surely non-Christians exist in the south, no?
Or is it very uncomfortable for them?
It depends on where you live, but most people in the south are Christian. When I was growing up in the 80s and 90s in MS, you basically had to keep your alternative lifestyle (LOL) under wraps if you weren't Protestant. Like in elementary school, our teachers still allowed prayer (I know, illegal) and would "allow" the one Jehovah's Witness kid to step out of the room so everybody else could pray...LOL. As a kid, I knew something was wrong with this picture, but anyway. MS folks pretty much didn't tolerate Catholics (except on the Gulf Coast, which is basically Louisiana), Jews, Muslims, Jehovahs Witnesses (I know, I know), etc. I lived in one of the more progressive areas of MS, too. Like there is a Jewish temple in one town south of where I grew up in MS...and no Jews. At all. Why is that? LOL
So I'd vote "very uncomfortable for them depending upon where they live."
Non-Christians mostly live in/near the cities. The larger the city, the larger their numbers. Probably would feel more comfortable in Atlanta, Houston, or New Orleans areas than Macon, Humble, or Vidalia!
One thing I got to wondering is how the SO knows it will be the south? It could just as easily be the place I got sent years ago, Elmendorf AFB, AK or one of many other locations unless he has some specialty, maybe an officer in a certain field, etc.
Has the SO been in the military a long time? Usually orders don't come until about 6 months before the move. My older son is in the active military Army Reserves as an LTC in a certain field and he doesn't even know for sure where he will be going until the 6 month before mark.
Does the SO know that you are concerned about people being too religious? Even if you aren't on base, you'll still have people from the entire country in the area, if not the world.
I'm originally from CT and MA. I moved to the MS coast and after Katrina, moved to a very rural area of NE Mississippi. The town where I lived had less than 500 people. I remember attending a little flea market affair in the middle of town to sell some of my crafts. An old biddy came up to me and asked me "Who are YOU?" and then began to interrogate me as to what church I went to, and where I lived. So ignorant and rude.
When I found a job in that area, my co-workers for the most part were wonderful, kind and friendly people. I still keep in contact with a girlfriend in that area. It's not all bad, and some is very good. A slower, more relaxed pace and some friendly chatting while waiting in line at a store is really nice. You're lucky if the cashier even makes eye contact up north, never mind actually having a friendly comment.
My point is, approach your move with an open mind. You'll fare best if you don't criticize the natives way of doing things; they can be very sensitive to that. If you are an animal lover, there'll be plenty to criticize as their treatment of animals is very different from New England and not for the better. I think living on or around a base will work to your advantage. There'll be plenty of people from all over and you'll avoid the insular nature of folks who have deep roots, family ties and many ancestors from the area.
My advice? Avoid any small towns under 10,000 people. Ideally choose an area with 50-100K people or more. I have lived my whole life in Texas and a few years in Georgia and that is the general rule to avoid the type of atmosphere you are discussing. The very small towns are definitely highly religious and not very open to change or accepting someone that hasn't been there for generations. They are especially suspicious of Northerners :-). I grew up in a tiny town population under 2000 and it was very religious and somewhat bigoted and they did NOT like "Yankees". Live on or near the military base and you will be surrounded by plenty of others that are from all sorts of areas. Locals are more likely to be open-minded and friendly and accepting. Despite my upbringing I am very open-minded and pretty liberal and I would never move back to the tiny town I grew up in. Lesson learned.
Great advice! I grew up in a town of 30,000 and lived for a time in a town of 3,000. The latter was worse all day, every day.
This is what I have noticed in living in the south and I live in Florida. Florida which in many parts of the state is only southern in climate. However the region I live in is very southern in personality and cultures.
It is heavily populated by church going types, and I have felt the effects of that. Such as when I have tried to meet people their church has come up frequently. I have had people that I have met such as at a restaurant, that while making small talk. Suddenly I am handed a card a business card from their church. I politely take the card, but I am not interested in it. So yes there is a lot of overtones of Religion in many areas of the south. I don't know why anyone would be offended, by newcomers noticing this trait.
The diet is very unhealthy in many areas of the south. There are not many choices for Grocery stores for some reason, and with that is a lack of options and competition on price. I find groceries expensive in the south. As a Diabetic I find it very hard to buy the proper food here. There just isn't a market for certain healthier products I need to buy. That statement comes from the manager of a Publix grocery store here in Florida
So the south isn't a bad place to live in, but it is a very different place to live if your from elsewhere in the USA. That's how it is, that's how it's always been, and evidently that is how the natives want it to be.
No I don't think it is a healthy place to live. I do blame the culture of poor diets, the lack of exercise. I blame a generational culture of these bad traits as the reasons why. I think the south lacks options for grocery shopping and exercise options. Way to many people seem to frown on anyone that believes in public transit in big cities. Everyone wants to drive and not walk. All that contributes to the fact it is noticeably obese down here. There is always some excuse not to walk. I definitely do believe it is overly religious in many areas.
If anyone is offended by what I described of the south. Well all I can say is those people, don't get out much and don't live in reality.
Please. YOU live in and apparently are describing a small town in Florida. This town does not represent the south as a whole. What you're describing has not been my southern experience at all - in fact, it sounds like some sort of crazy caricature of "southern living," and lest you accuse me of "not getting out much and not living in reality," I've lived in several foreign countries, several regions of the US, and been a corporate trainer who basically traveled across the US to various markets for a living. Plus I am a military brat and former military wife, and my husband works all over the US and I often travel with him, so yeah...I "get out" quite a bit, and I live very firmly rooted in reality.
And I am a native of New Orleans, spent ten years living in Georgia (including high school and college), have lived in Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, Arkansas, and have lived 25 years in northeast Texas, so I'd say I'm pretty qualified when it comes to the "southern experience."
Just goes to show you that one person's reality isn't necessarily that of another person.
Speak for yourself but do not assume that your experiences are universally "southern," because I can assure you they are not.
His mother is mentally ill that is a totally different issue. I will be moving with him I am just preparing for it. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Do you believe that is bad??
What I believe about your entire situation would get me banned for life if I wrote it all out because there is plenty wrong with a lot of it.
Bottom line is your life, your choice but you appear to create drama where there should be none.
I am a westerner that has lived in the North East, Midwest, South, as well as around the west now in Montana where my grandfather was born in 1867, and 50 miles from where he was married to my Swedish grandmother.
The think I have always found, is your attitude will make or break your happy association with an area. Go in with the idea you will not like it, and you won't like it. Go in with the attitude I am going to learn about a new place and I know I will like it, and you will. Look for the good, and you will find it anywhere. I found some great people in the south when I lived there. I found some terrible people in the North East when I lived there. But I also found both some great people and some terrible people in the South, East, West, North East. I found that your attitude will be which attracts either kind and those in between.
You will be involved with the military and those around a military base, and will find that people are basically the same around the military establishments. They will be from every where, not just the south which you fear. You will find as I did, that Southerners are not really that much different than the North Easterners you are used to being around, but will find them much friendlier and easy going, than the up tight attitude in the North East.
I am a westerner that has lived in the North East, Midwest, South, as well as around the west now in Montana where my grandfather was born in 1867, and 50 miles from where he was married to my Swedish grandmother.
The think I have always found, is your attitude will make or break your happy association with an area. Go in with the idea you will not like it, and you won't like it. Go in with the attitude I am going to learn about a new place and I know I will like it, and you will. Look for the good, and you will find it anywhere. I found some great people in the south when I lived there. I found some terrible people in the North East when I lived there. But I also found both some great people and some terrible people in the South, East, West, North East. I found that your attitude will be which attracts either kind and those in between.
You will be involved with the military and those around a military base, and will find that people are basically the same around the military establishments. They will be from every where, not just the south which you fear. You will find as I did, that Southerners are not really that much different than the North Easterners you are used to being around, but will find them much friendlier and easy going, than the up tight attitude in the North East.
I do agree that a good additude is very important. I'm looking toward positive things such as no snow and hopefully move out of our tiny apartment here in MA. My SO owns a home in GA and SC so we could either move into one of those or rent something since rents are so pricey in MA. I am just addressing some of my concerns. I will admit terrified is probably overstating it. I'm cautious I guess is a better word.
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I posted in another forum and seriously that did nothing, but, make me even more concerned
