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I live in the boonies. Sometimes, my only interaction with humans in a week or two is when I go into town and chat with cashiers while doing my shopping.
Can someone please explain why men are not allowed to be polite at the checkout counter or expect common courtesy in return and not be treated differently just because they're a man and you're a woman?
Men are allowed to be polite , nothing wrong with it what so ever. Keep up the good work. .
Unless of course the cashier happens to be a Feminazi,
Can someone explain this please? Is it a horrible thing? Offensive? Pervy? Can you just not stand it?
If so, what does it mean when I do this with all kinds of people behind the counter, not just women, and also see other people do it and them as well, of all different kinds of ages and races and genders?
Can someone please explain why men are not allowed to be polite at the checkout counter or expect common courtesy in return and not be treated differently just because they're a man and you're a woman?
It might be how you say it to her !
Are you putting emphasis on the word "how" in "How are you doing" or is the emphasis on the word "you" like, How are you doing " like people from New York City do ?
Are you looking at her eyes or somewhwere else that might make her think that you might not care about "how she is doing" but if she might be available to "do" you.
How are you standing when you ask the question ?
Are your legs crossed or are you standing bow legged ?
What style of clothes are you wearing ?
Got any black leather on wearing boots or are you "beach casual" with flip flops ?
There is so much non verbal language that goes on when you confront a women stranger for the first time.
You might want to just start with a head nod and wait for verbal feedback before you proceed, especially if you have a semi feral look about you.
Can someone explain this please? Is it a horrible thing? Offensive? Pervy? Can you just not stand it?
If so, what does it mean when I do this with all kinds of people behind the counter, not just women, and also see other people do it and them as well, of all different kinds of ages and races and genders?
Can someone please explain why men are not allowed to be polite at the checkout counter or expect common courtesy in return and not be treated differently just because they're a man and you're a woman?
What gives you that idea? I find men being pleasant to me a great thing. Women can detect being courteous from being a creep. They get irritated by creepdom; politeness is usually welcome.
That's very nice. Glad you had a career. However, as I have not recently fallen off the turnip truck, there is no need to explain supermarkets or any other retail outlet to me. I've been shopping in them for 35 years. And frankly, I am put off by anything more than a "hi." I've had cashiers comment on the items I'm purchasing (including things like condoms), hold me up by trying to card me and schmooze with false flattery (I'm in my late 40s, so even carding for 30 is ludicrous), and other inappropriate and invasive interactions. I've also been stuck on lines when there are full-fledged discussions between cashiers and patrons about everything from the weather to football. It is not their place to comment on someone's purchases, and customers standing on line tend not to appreciate being made to wait because of someone else's small talk. We have places to go and better things to do than stand on a line.
The avatar is male and I suggest you read his other threads. This most likely has nothing to do with social niceties and everything to do with some kind of issue with the OP either putting people off with his approach, being paranoid that he is, or having another issue of some sort. Emotionally healthy, socially perceptive and adroit people don't write threads asking what "hi" means.
I'll take that as a "happy retirement!". With all due respect, there is a considerable difference between shopping in a supermarket and working in/managing one.
Like yourself, I too have not recently fallen off the turnip truck. I've been on the internet for nearly as long as you've been shopping in supermarkets. For that reason, I don't make assumptions about the gender of a poster based upon avatars. However, upon re-reading the rather muddled OP, your point is well taken that this is likely a male poster. As for reading their previous posts, I really have no interest. I'm looking at the question posed here, not at assembling a psychological profile of the poster.
My ultimate point regarding the original post doesn't change. The interaction between a cashier and a customer is a basic business transaction which involves an equally basic level of human courtesy. In my mind, a cashier-initiated "hello", a smile, a "how are you today?", a "did you find all you need?" are all among the essential components of that transaction. Beyond that, limited friendly conversation is fairly standard and frequently initiated by the customers, and according to market research, appreciated by the vast majority of customers.
I do share your concern about inappropriate and invasive interactions, although I suspect that we may have different thresholds in regards to the meanings of inappropriate and invasive. At any rate, as a seasoned shopper you certainly know you should report offensive interactions to management. As for experiencing or observing unwanted extended conversations, the same applies.
Whether this particular post indicates a problem with the OP, or with cashiers who are perceived by the OP to be rude, relegating such interaction to the realm of gender politics is ludicrous. I'm not necessarily arguing that you've done that, but some of those posting here have, and that seems to be the general tone of the thread. It's also a significant social and political issue in the broader realm of human interaction.
Whether this particular post indicates a problem with the OP, or with cashiers who are perceived by the OP to be rude, relegating such interaction to the realm of gender politics is ludicrous. I'm not necessarily arguing that you've done that, but some of those posting here have, and that seems to be the general tone of the thread. It's also a significant social and political issue in the broader realm of human interaction.
Well, the title of the thread is gender-specific, so people have answered in that context. Me, I don't care who does it. Hi, how are you, good, thank you, have a nice day, you too, move on, is about it.
Can someone explain this please? Is it a horrible thing? Offensive? Pervy? Can you just not stand it?
If so, what does it mean when I do this with all kinds of people behind the counter, not just women, and also see other people do it and them as well, of all different kinds of ages and races and genders?
Can someone please explain why men are not allowed to be polite at the checkout counter or expect common courtesy in return and not be treated differently just because they're a man and you're a woman?
First ask yourself?
Do you treat all people you interact with on a daily basis the same? Does it matter if the person at the register is not someone that you are interested in dating? If you are only making conversation because the person you are trying to talk to is someone you are interested in then you are in the wrong.
I don't have any problem saying hi to someone as long as I am not keeping them from getting their job done. I am not there to hook up with anyone, I just want the items I brought to the counter and am hoping I have the money to pay for those items so i can get out of the store.
If their is a line you can more than likely get a read on what is happening up ahead to see what kind of day the person at the register is having. A smile would probably suffice if they are very busy, with a thank you, and have a great day, as you leave the checkout line.
IMO they probably think that small talk or greetings are only preludes to pick-up lines -- not a courtesy -- and they just don't want to be hit on.
Does any female ever want to be hit on? Ever? If not, what do they do on Saturday nights? What do the lonely ones do? If a female is lonely and thinks a customer looks nice, what is the signal that she gives? "Thanks for shopping at Piggly Wiggly"? How is a guy to know when it is OK to hit on a female, and when not? Wait until your mothers introduce you at church picnics? So far not one checker has ever hit on me, no matter how lonely she is. It's left up to the males to do that. And women have formed an impenetrable guilt-block to keep that from ever, ever happening. There is nobody still willing to take the chance, except creeps. And that's all women are going to get now, and it's their own doing.
Come on, ladies, please don't just blow this off. You have important social intelligence to impart, don't keep it a secret. Guys want to know. The human species depends on you -- without you delivering the secret, there will be no more babies.
There's being hit on and then there's being hit on. If you want to hit on me for sex, there's a pross on the corner and you can pay her. If you hit on me to get to know me because you think I'm an interesting person, have at it.
Having said that, I think anyone who works with the public is happy when someone just walks up, smiles, and says hello. And anyone who doesn't understand that sentence has never worked with the public, and needs to. It should be the one thing on everyone's bucket list, whether they like it or not.
Some men are pervs, most aren't. Most men like to flirt, most will be nice about it. Walking up to a cashier and smiling at them isn't exclusive to any of those. But sometimes you have to remember, the cashier is human like everyone else. Sometimes she's just been chewed out by her boss, sometimes, she's having a good day. What would get you a flirt back some days will get you a "get out of my face" on other days. Read or test the vibes and act accordingly. And mind your manners. The ones you were supposed to learn in kindergarten. If a cashier is coming on to you and her boyfriend is wearing a Hell's Angels jacket and standing near his motorcycle watching you, use some common sense.
Some people are never going to give you a smile, no matter how hard you try. Some people won't shut up. Some won't quit flirting. Some have been the victims of an assault. Don't assume, but behave yourself and act like a decent human being. It'll get you accolades.
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