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You know what? After years and years of dealing with arrogant people, stupid people and bullies I've started to give up. Just stop giving a **** about them and you'll be anxiety-free soon.
I'm sure most people on this forum are well traveled. I'm also sure that most people on this forum have experienced their share of rude and obnoxious people throughout the U.S. I've lived in 7 states, some of which were ruder than others. I try to not allow people to bother me, but it seems as though someone is always going out of their way to do things that they know is going to **** me off.
Just recently, I was trying to get on an elevator that wasn't that crowded. Some guy who was standing right in front of the door wouldn't move an inch, even though I said excuse me. So I got onto the elevator and stood right in front of him, facing away. This guy almost had a real bad day, he moved in front of me bumping my shoulder rather aggressively along the way. I put my forearm up to create distance between him and I, which I was successful at doing. From the way he turned and gave me a dirty look out of the corner of his eye, I could have swore that he was about to let that "N" word slip out.
Anyways, what keeps you from completely hating humanity and being happy where you are despite there being so many stupid people in the U.S.?
I am not sure I followed your soliloquy but I can imagine the impression you left on the other guy. Who knows, maybe he wrote his little story about how rude people are in another forum.
Your situation was so avoidable. You don't always have to assert your rights. Your threat about how he was about to have a bad day shows just how childish you are and how you likely cause most of the bad situations you encounter. Yeah, the whole world is against you.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
It's all about ego.
Don't allow yourself to be in the place that their behavior can be offensive.
There is another elevator that can be taken, another time to go into a room, another conversation that can be had with another person.
You choose which experience that you want to be had.
Most people don't have the time to wait for you to get and stay in their space so they can abuse you. They will move on. They weave the web that attracts you into their abusive world hoping to trap you.
Have the wisdom to stay away.
I've always thought that just because someone wants to throw darts, I don't have to be the dartboard.
Or, be prepared to defend yourself from the sheetstorm that may take place when 2 headstrong people battle for their pride.
Doctors and Dentists make a lot of money when that happens.
Sorry, I can't relate... Don't "allow" myself to be in a place where their behavior can be offensive? It's not like I was on his property. I was trying to access a public elevator that wasn't full. I'm aware that there would have been other elevators.... But I had a perfectly good one right in front of me. He ended up pouting and getting off on the next floor... Whether or not it was his floor I wasn't sure, and I didn't care.
But it'll be one cold day in hell before someone else dictates to me where I go and how I get there. Especially if they're just being unreasonable.... There was no way that I or anyone else could have gotten onto the elevator without "brushing" him. He was standing right in the middle, right in front of the door, if he refuses to move when asked politely, that's his (and only his) problem.
Let's just say everyone else on the elevator sided with me....
Quote:
Originally Posted by jw2
I am not sure I followed your soliloquy but I can imagine the impression you left on the other guy. Who knows, maybe he wrote his little story about how rude people are in another forum.
Your situation was so avoidable. You don't always have to assert your rights. Your threat about how he was about to have a bad day shows just how childish you are and how you likely cause most of the bad situations you encounter. Yeah, the whole world is against you.
Rude people do bother me and they are supposed to elicit an internal reaction. .
Two of William James quotes:
1. "The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to change one thought over another."
2. "The greatest discovery of my generation is that we can alter our experience by altering our attitude."
It seems they are not widely practised yet.
Do we need instructions on 'how'? Or figure out how to 'do-it-yourself'?
I don't understand why anyone would be bothered by rudeness. Isn't that what the 2nd amendment is for?
Rudeness implies that the person you are rude to is beneath and not worthy of respect or consideration as a human being despite the fact that the person has not wronged you in any way shape or form.
1. Cutting in line.
2. Saving seats or parking spaces.
3. Smoking and letting the smoke blow over to other people.
4. Calling customers or strangers or patients terms of endearment, such as sweetie, honey, dear, darling.
5. Stepping onto an elevator or train or bus without letting the people get out first.
6. Loud voices where there are signs to be quiet.
7. Leaving shopping carts loose in parking lots.
I have noticed that sometimes foreigners will display these behaviors, and they think you are a doormat if you don't. It happens when I visit other regions of the U.S., too. Maybe it is regional.
Last edited by Sara__New_2015; 10-10-2015 at 12:15 PM..
Two of William James quotes:
1. "The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to change one thought over another."
2. "The greatest discovery of my generation is that we can alter our experience by altering our attitude."
It seems they are not widely practised yet.
Do we need instructions on 'how'? Or figure out how to 'do-it-yourself'?
Are you being receptive to my post or questioning my thought process?
Even so, a person with this knowledge, the teacher, would have to know what William James meant precisely. How would this teacher gather information, through primary sources or secondary sources?
Once the teacher has gathered "what" to teach, she must now know "how" to teach it so that communication is clear and similar conclusions are reached. Then the learner would have to "do-it-herself" to make sure the intended lesson was passed on and to make sure she can do it independently.
Sorry, I can't relate... Don't "allow" myself to be in a place where their behavior can be offensive? It's not like I was on his property. I was trying to access a public elevator that wasn't full. I'm aware that there would have been other elevators.... But I had a perfectly good one right in front of me. He ended up pouting and getting off on the next floor... Whether or not it was his floor I wasn't sure, and I didn't care.
But it'll be one cold day in hell before someone else dictates to me where I go and how I get there. Especially if they're just being unreasonable.... There was no way that I or anyone else could have gotten onto the elevator without "brushing" him. He was standing right in the middle, right in front of the door, if he refuses to move when asked politely, that's his (and only his) problem.
Let's just say everyone else on the elevator sided with me....
Okay... Thank you.
Remember, you asked "How do you not let rude people bother you?". I have a rule that took me a while to adopt, I will give up the right of way (whether walking, driving, whatever) to anyone, whenever they want. Do they always deserve it, I don't know but more importantly, I don't care. You fretted about this for far too long. It should have been a non-incident. Really, you don't always have to assert your rights, just coexist, even if the other guy is wrong.
Now, if you were looking for more support here like the support you received on the elevator, my pardons, let me rephrase, Yeah, **** yeah you were right, that other guy was such an *******. You should have decked his ass right then and there, That ******* ****** ****er.
Last edited by jw2; 10-10-2015 at 05:16 PM..
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