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Being a nihilist is probably accurate in describing myself. It's been getting worse over the years. I just find no joy in doing most things and being around most people. I think people can sense that, so most people don't like to talk to me or it calls for a very awkward conversation.
Why can't I enjoy anything? I do some hobbies (I work out about 5 days a week and I really like it, but I couldn't work out with other people). It's like I like things but I don't enjoy it Iif that makes sense. I'm very neutral and have no opinion on most things. Most things don't make me sad or happy. I like dogs but they don't make me happy. I dislike third world hunger but it doesn't make me sad. I feel like I have been created as a human robot with no purpose. I work hard but don't enjoy anything I do. There is no soul in anything I touch.
I'll go do some outdoor activity but I just like to do them, not feel the pressure to connect. I meet a ton of cool and interesting people, but once they're around me, all fun goes down the toilet. I have always had a very productive mindset, always wanting to do things and get things done, but once I sit down to work, I go on forums and surf the web and I'm not very productive at all. But when I'm around people, I think of working.
I've always wondered why I had a hard time making friends and I think this is a huge reason why. I can't relax around people. Even around my friends who I like and actually can relax around them, I get bored after about an hour and a half and want to go home. And if I'm in a bigger group with more than 2-3 people I just zone out and it's like I'm in astral projection mode.
This is really affecting my quality of life. I can't connect with people and I can't come back down to earth and live in reality. Can anybody explain why this might be so?
I don't have depression. I do have social anxiety but like I said, even around my friends and family, it's like I'm not there. I'll talk to someone if it's just the two of us, but I prefer not to talk if I can help it. I just want to get to where we're going or finish whatever we're doing. I really can't just sit somewhere and "chill". And I bet people like me are a huge pain in the a$$ and I have been accused of so. I'm just wondering why and if I can fix this? My life isn't very fun at all and I would like to change that.
Last edited by Gabriella Geramia; 10-18-2015 at 09:01 PM..
Have you seen a therapist about this? Talking out loud about this can lead you to some solutions. You haven't talked about your family or your love life. Maybe that is what's missing from your life. Do you date often? Having a family of your own means you can set some goals in your life & work towards them. That's your motivation right there. Adding new people in your life will definitely give you some excitement. Finding love, getting married, raising kids are big challenges & they are bound to keep you occupied for rest of your life.
I haven't talked about my family or love life because I have none. I have family but they don't talk to me. I don't really have friends either. I have a hard time making friends. The friends I do have don't really talk to me. I am pretty isolated. I don't like to watch TV or be around media. I do listen to music and I like that. I can't sit and just talk to somebody. There has to be a purpose. I don't date much. I don't find a lot of people I would like to date. I would love to have my own family but I can't even keep a social life.
And I have felt this way ever since I was 18 when I felt I had to force myself to take on a career and be "responsible". Life just feels like a chore. I don't mind doing chores because it needs to be done but who ever gets excited about chores? I don't even enjoy sex as much. I pleasure myself when my body wants it but I don't get excited about it. That's why I don't really feel the need to date anybody.
It's okay if you can't talk to people for long periods of time. I know I can't (2 hours maximum). I believe most of my friends and family are the same.
I always have a purpose when I talk to somebody. Sometimes I have something very specific I need from them. Other times I want to catch up and see what they are up to. I am very good at asking questions and getting them to elaborate.
One thing I do is keep track of what we discussed. I review it before I call them again and start from there. None of my friends or family know I do this. I think they would think it is weird but I realized long time ago that some people appreciate it when you remember things about them.
This sounds like low grade depressive illness to me. Have you talked to your doctor about how you feel? Maybe some medication might help you enjoy your life more.
When I felt that way ...my friends did an intervention...got on Luvox...you
can look up...I had no joy. Took it for 6 months 20 years ago.
Now, I would ask for Lexapro. Balances brain chemistry.
The sentence that convinced me was...Try it, you can always stop.
It's like I became enthusiastic about things...that's living.
Being a nihilist is probably accurate in describing myself. It's been getting worse over the years. I just find no joy in doing most things and being around most people. I think people can sense that, so most people don't like to talk to me or it calls for a very awkward conversation.
Why can't I enjoy anything? I do some hobbies (I work out about 5 days a week and I really like it, but I couldn't work out with other people). It's like I like things but I don't enjoy it Iif that makes sense. I'm very neutral and have no opinion on most things. Most things don't make me sad or happy. I like dogs but they don't make me happy. I dislike third world hunger but it doesn't make me sad. I feel like I have been created as a human robot with no purpose. I work hard but don't enjoy anything I do. There is no soul in anything I touch.
I'll go do some outdoor activity but I just like to do them, not feel the pressure to connect. I meet a ton of cool and interesting people, but once they're around me, all fun goes down the toilet. I have always had a very productive mindset, always wanting to do things and get things done, but once I sit down to work, I go on forums and surf the web and I'm not very productive at all. But when I'm around people, I think of working.
I've always wondered why I had a hard time making friends and I think this is a huge reason why. I can't relax around people. Even around my friends who I like and actually can relax around them, I get bored after about an hour and a half and want to go home. And if I'm in a bigger group with more than 2-3 people I just zone out and it's like I'm in astral projection mode.
This is really affecting my quality of life. I can't connect with people and I can't come back down to earth and live in reality. Can anybody explain why this might be so?
I don't have depression. I do have social anxiety but like I said, even around my friends and family, it's like I'm not there. I'll talk to someone if it's just the two of us, but I prefer not to talk if I can help it. I just want to get to where we're going or finish whatever we're doing. I really can't just sit somewhere and "chill". And I bet people like me are a huge pain in the a$$ and I have been accused of so. I'm just wondering why and if I can fix this? My life isn't very fun at all and I would like to change that.
I don't enjoy anything in life either.
Getting up everyday is a chore
I'd rather be dead.
I'm seeing a therapist now. So far we have established I have social anxiety and I have a hard time relaxing. He gave me exercises to practice breathing and to help me relax when I feel anxiety.
I did tell him I have a hard time remembering things as if the events had never happened or as if people don't exist and how I feel neutral about most things. I have a huge sense of detachment. People have commented how I treat them like strangers even when I do know them. And often I do feel like people around me are complete strangers. My therapist thought I had been traumatized in the past but I wouldn't say I was legitimately abused phslysically, sexually, or emotionally.
Last edited by Gabriella Geramia; 10-20-2015 at 11:41 AM..
I'm seeing a therapist now. So far we have established I have social anxiety and I have a hard time relaxing. He gave me exercises to practice breathing and to help me relax when I feel anxiety.
I did tell him I have a hard time remembering things as if the events had never happened or as if people don't exist and how I feel neutral about most things. I have a huge sense of detachment. People have commented how I treat them like strangers even when I do know them. And often I do feel like people around me are complete strangers. My therapist thought I had been traumatized in the past but I wouldn't say I was legitimately abused phslysically, sexually, or emotionally.
Keep going to the therapist. Something is amiss. You need to get to the bottom of it. And I wonder why you say you are not depressed?
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