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I read a lot of evolutionary psychology, which explains why men in general are more hungry and less selective towards sex, and less invested in serious relationships and offspring (sperm vs egg/ ejaculation vs pregnancy... much lower investment).
So do men just want sex? what do they want? i want to hear from men.
I have experience with only one guy, who only wanted sex, and so i was under the impression that men are biologically incapable of romantic love (or at least of loving to the extent that most women do). Hurt and scared of loving again, I then, a few months later, offered another man (lets call him man B) i barely know but am very attracted to [Mod cut.] via a text that said " i want an attractive and interesting man to [Mod cut.] are you interested?" , and he was like "What the hell is wrong with you... no, I'm not interested". He is also from Germany, studying for one year here in the united states.
1). How long should i wait before offering [Mod cut.]?
2). Do men just want sex? If not, what do you want?
3). men are hardwired to value most in their mates physical beauty. If you were to give a percentage from 51 percent to 100, what percentage would you give to physical beauty as its importance of mate selection?
4). i'm quite fond of man B, and he is now weirded out by me. Men, if you were him, would you still be friends with me, or keep your distance from me? Or how could i gain his trust/friendship/companionship/interest again?
If that is all you are looking for ,that's pretty much all your going to find.
If your just putting your self out there to be used ,
You won't find any depth in a relationship .
The emphasis in this society on sex is only making selfish people MORE selfish .
Relationships more expendable .
Find a man that will be your friend and see how long that lasts ,let him get to know the real you and vise versa .
It take time not over night and not just chemistry or emotion.
When you get old, and he gets old, and sex is not happening, what then ?
If that is all you are looking for ,that's pretty much all your going to find.
If your just putting your self out there to be used ,
You won't find any depth in a relationship .
The emphasis in this society on sex is only making selfish people MORE selfish .
Relationships more expendable .
Find a man that will be your friend and see how long that lasts ,let him get to know the real you and vise versa .
It take time not over night and not just chemistry or emotion.
When you get old, and he gets old, and sex is not happening, what then ?
woah.. old? seven years is already a long time for a relationship. Realistically seven year itch will mean most relationships will not last till folks get old. New research is saying it's more like three year itch
Men are here to work and breed. Women are here to comfort and nurture.
Of course a man just wants to have sex which should explain why a man can rise to orgasm and return to normal so quickly whereas a woman is slow to rise and fall.
Men are here to work and breed. Women are here to comfort and nurture.
Of course a man just wants to have sex which should explain why a man can rise to orgasm and return to normal so quickly whereas a woman is slow to rise and fall.
I have experience with only one guy, who only wanted sex, and so i was under the impression that men are biologically incapable of romantic love (or at least of loving to the extent that most women do). Hurt and scared of loving again, I then, a few months later, offered another man (lets call him man B) i barely know but am very attracted to [snip] via a text that said " i want an attractive and interesting man to [snip]" , and he was like "What the hell is wrong with you... no, I'm not interested". He is also from Germany, studying for one year here in the united states.
It's too bad that your first experience was about nothing but a male wanting to use you for sex.
All I can say is learn from it and also learn to have more respect for yourself.
Why would you want to just start offering up sexual favors to a man that you are not in a serious relationship with?
Good for the German guy in asking your what the hell is wrong with you. I'm asking the same thing...what the hell is wrong with you?
It sounds like you have a lot to learn about men and self respect.
You have to start out slow when you first start a relationship. There's an informal 3 date rule before sex is initiated to give a relationship a chance to size up compatiblity and to eliminate the batsheet crazy stalker women out.
Don't be desparate as that is a huge scare factor to anyone.
Just go slow, act natural, and give nature the chance to sort things out.
You have to start out slow when you first start a relationship. There's an informal 3 date rule before sex is initiated to give a relationship a chance to size up compatiblity and to eliminate the batsheet crazy stalker women out.
Don't be desparate as that is a huge scare factor to anyone.
Just go slow, act natural, and give nature the chance to sort things out.
he's a foreign exchange student. i'm not gonna start a relationship or get emotionally attached with someone who will return to germany in less than a year. and plus, i didn't want to catch feelings because i was so hurt last time ::
Last edited by JustCuriouss; 11-02-2015 at 01:53 PM..
I think a lot of it comes from the romanticized ideal of men that men are supposed to aspire to. From a young age boys hear an avalanche of what men are supposed to be. Part of that ideal is that men are "supposed" to nail every woman they can. It's like trophy hunting. Men who are trying to find their identity via social norms of what defines a man are men who are going to trophy hunt. I don't think men necessarily have more libido than women, they just think they're supposed to. Really, for the most part, everyone likes sex. Everyone feels the reproductive itch. But you can't be a man until you've lost count of of your lovers.
That being said, I think there is a point in every mans life when they are ready to trade in the buffet of women for one good one and settle down and be a real man for one woman. A lot of this hinges on maturity. A guy in his 20s still doesn't really know what a good woman is. And if they did have the ability to see that, they don't know what to do from there. I think that culturally we put too much emphasis on monogamy and most people are not really ready for that until a certain point of maturity. Teenagers are always talking about being in love and they understand that a person is supposed to have one partner so they try and make that model of living fit on a person that isn't mature enough to honor it. This gives us a jaded view of sex and relationships, makes us cynical and bitter and especially distrusting. Really, you aren't going to find your "one" until you're both 25 or more. Hoping to find a 22 year old Mr right to settle down with is almost preposterous. Its not impossible, but its not practical to wait around for.
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