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Old 11-23-2015, 04:35 AM
 
Location: Alexandria, VA, USA
1,110 posts, read 891,533 times
Reputation: 2517

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Other people care about you as well. All of us who have responded to your concerns want you to do well, even though we have never met you, and we do not even know what you look like. If you like helping people and want to join the Service, consider the Coast Guard.
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Old 11-23-2015, 06:42 AM
 
1,039 posts, read 1,153,537 times
Reputation: 817
Most folks are ugly. Just ride a subway, go to Olive Garden, Go to a Mall. Look around. I would say tops 5% of folks are attractive.

Heck look at a TV show like the Bachelor. Where they only let "supposedly" good looking men on. If I watch it with my wife and daughters they only find 2-3 guys cute. The rest they think are ugly.

You are not alone.
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Old 11-23-2015, 06:54 AM
 
710 posts, read 582,243 times
Reputation: 855
Quote:
Originally Posted by rmm0484 View Post
Other people care about you as well. All of us who have responded to your concerns want you to do well, even though we have never met you, and we do not even know what you look like. If you like helping people and want to join the Service, consider the Coast Guard.
I'm very interested in the Marine Corps. Not to say that the Coast Guard is bad, but the title of being a Marine seems to carry more pride and it's considered the hardest to get into.
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Old 11-23-2015, 09:45 AM
 
Location: Between West Chester and Chester, PA
2,802 posts, read 3,179,713 times
Reputation: 4900
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randomguy18 View Post
I feel like I will never be able to have a healthy sense of self-esteem or confidence. For most of my life I've been reminded that I'm ugly and not attractive. I'm 18 and back when I was in elementary school, I was bullied pretty harshly because of how I looked. Boys and girls alike used to make fun of me and call me ugly. I have pretty much internalized it now. It's easy to say that they were lying or to not believe it, but I didn't see any other kids getting it as bad as me. I can assume that the only reason that they'd make fun of me and call me ugly is because it really is true. The people who actually had good looks never got made fun of, and I can assume that if I had good looks, I wouldn't have gotten made fun of either. It makes me feel bad when I see attractive people because I know they are constantly reminded of how good they look and they probably know it, but I'm the complete opposite and it's not like it's something that I can control, I was literally born this way.
Have you ever developed any confidence while drunk? Figure out a way to incorporate that drunk confidence into your sober life.

Attractive people are also made fun of. Being picked on has very little to do with how a person physically looks. It's mainly how they carry themselves. If they come off as weak to the wolves, the wolves will begin attacking. They'll only stop if or when the target stands up against them and kicks the main bully's ass.
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Old 11-23-2015, 10:12 AM
 
710 posts, read 582,243 times
Reputation: 855
Quote:
Originally Posted by Creature of the Wheel View Post
Have you ever developed any confidence while drunk? Figure out a way to incorporate that drunk confidence into your sober life.

Attractive people are also made fun of. Being picked on has very little to do with how a person physically looks. It's mainly how they carry themselves. If they come off as weak to the wolves, the wolves will begin attacking. They'll only stop if or when the target stands up against them and kicks the main bully's ass.
I've never been drunk before. My only regret looking back is not standing up to them.
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Old 11-23-2015, 10:17 AM
 
Location: East TN
11,046 posts, read 9,684,120 times
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You really need to just not focus on appearances. I know it's hard to believe in this celebrity-enthralled culture, but looks are not top of the list for REAL people. If I meet someone, I don't say "Wow they're good looking, I want to be their friend." I know a lot of good-looking, really awful people. I don't want to be their friend.

I have a friend who won't date a guy unless he looks a certain way. She says that she's just not attracted to guys who look different than her ideal (strangely, her ideal is someone who looks like an 80's hair band guitarist). She's very judgmental that way. She's been single for 15 years because all the great guys we've introduced her to aren't "attractive" enough. Meanwhile she's 15 years older and all alone.

When someone asks me to describe my husband, I don't start with how attractive or unattractive he is, because that is different for everyone. My attractive could be somebody else's ugly. I describe him as fun, smart, loyal, truthful, goofy, a great friend and companion. You see, not everything works on the superficial level. Be the best PERSON you can be, and everything else will follow. Just really stop focusing on your looks. Write down a list of all the things you have going for you...are you smart, funny, honest, caring, a great musician, a good cook, a loyal friend, an awesome student, a good tennis player? I'm sure you have many great attributes. Write a list and hang it on your mirror, everyday read that list OUT LOUD morning and night. Add to the list as other things come to you. You have qualities that are far more important to the world than your appearance. You need to realize that, and gradually you will become more confident in your own eyes. Seriously do you think Bill Gates thought he was handsome in high school? You can't let this ruin your confidence in who you are as a person. What other people think of you is none of your business.
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Old 11-23-2015, 09:37 PM
 
710 posts, read 582,243 times
Reputation: 855
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadow View Post
You really need to just not focus on appearances. I know it's hard to believe in this celebrity-enthralled culture, but looks are not top of the list for REAL people. If I meet someone, I don't say "Wow they're good looking, I want to be their friend." I know a lot of good-looking, really awful people. I don't want to be their friend.

I have a friend who won't date a guy unless he looks a certain way. She says that she's just not attracted to guys who look different than her ideal (strangely, her ideal is someone who looks like an 80's hair band guitarist). She's very judgmental that way. She's been single for 15 years because all the great guys we've introduced her to aren't "attractive" enough. Meanwhile she's 15 years older and all alone.

When someone asks me to describe my husband, I don't start with how attractive or unattractive he is, because that is different for everyone. My attractive could be somebody else's ugly. I describe him as fun, smart, loyal, truthful, goofy, a great friend and companion. You see, not everything works on the superficial level. Be the best PERSON you can be, and everything else will follow. Just really stop focusing on your looks. Write down a list of all the things you have going for you...are you smart, funny, honest, caring, a great musician, a good cook, a loyal friend, an awesome student, a good tennis player? I'm sure you have many great attributes. Write a list and hang it on your mirror, everyday read that list OUT LOUD morning and night. Add to the list as other things come to you. You have qualities that are far more important to the world than your appearance. You need to realize that, and gradually you will become more confident in your own eyes. Seriously do you think Bill Gates thought he was handsome in high school? You can't let this ruin your confidence in who you are as a person. What other people think of you is none of your business.
I think I'm a good person with some good attributes. I don't necessarily feel bad about who I am as a person, just about how I look. If I looked better, I don't think I would have been bullied, or at least to the extent that I was. I know that people will always have their opinions about others, but when you hear the same thing from different people multiple times it takes its toll. I got it at school, I got it when I was on the football team, I got it when I played baseball, and I even got it at home sometimes.
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Old 11-23-2015, 11:42 PM
 
710 posts, read 582,243 times
Reputation: 855
Quote:
Originally Posted by DelightfulNYC View Post
Most folks are ugly. Just ride a subway, go to Olive Garden, Go to a Mall. Look around. I would say tops 5% of folks are attractive.

Heck look at a TV show like the Bachelor. Where they only let "supposedly" good looking men on. If I watch it with my wife and daughters they only find 2-3 guys cute. The rest they think are ugly.

You are not alone.
I wouldn't say that most people are ugly. I'd agree with one of the posters who said that most people are "average" looking. Then you'd have people who are above average and below average. I'm pretty sure I'd fall somewhere on the below category. There was a poster who suggested plastic surgery and at first, I opposed it. I've done a little research and I don't completely oppose it anymore. Unless drastic changes occur look wise for me, then I don't think I'll ever be satisfied by what I see when I look in a mirror. That could possibly be the only solution, but cost would obviously be a problem.
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Old 11-24-2015, 09:36 AM
 
215 posts, read 184,849 times
Reputation: 276
The only reason I would ever suggest plastic surgery is if the taxman is coming after you and getting in your business hardcore and you want to get the hell out of here and disappear, change your identity lol
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Old 11-24-2015, 10:26 AM
 
710 posts, read 582,243 times
Reputation: 855
Quote:
Originally Posted by Age-enduring View Post
I may get slated for this, in a psychology forum, and I haven't read the whole thread, but God has unconditional love and acceptance toward each and everyone of us. We just have to realise it, and accept it into our hearts, I.e. open your heart to that higher idea, that He does love you. He really does.
Then why did he allow what happened to me to happen?
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