I suffer from grandiosity (narcissist, dating, father, aunt)
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1) Get a job, any job. Be a good employee. Start saving money.
2) It's a big world. Research it, starting with cities in the U.S. Figure out where you might enjoy living. What are your priorities? What do you enjoy doing? What sort of people do you like hanging out with? Find a place that suits you.
3) When you have enough money saved to make a move, do so. Your reputation as a good employee will follow you, and you can start a new life.
1) Get a job, any job. Be a good employee. Start saving money.
2) It's a big world. Research it, starting with cities in the U.S. Figure out where you might enjoy living. What are your priorities? What do you enjoy doing? What sort of people do you like hanging out with? Find a place that suits you.
3) When you have enough money saved to make a move, do so. Your reputation as a good employee will follow you, and you can start a new life.
I actually failed at moving to California earlier this year. I had to come back home because I was too timid and too afraid to really try to make things happen there, and spent more money than I wish I had. That said, I probably should have pur there because I do not really have a solid place to stay here either. I am sleeping on a couch in very a small house shared with my sister and her preschooler. This is also a blue collar, Rust Belt area and I don't know where I'd find employment. I just feel so out of place.
Last edited by Cryinbaby; 11-22-2015 at 03:32 AM..
I suspect your current perceived situation is just your prefrontal-cortex finally coming online. it's the part of your brain that help you become a responsible adult.
Hopefully your parents or guardians gave you enough guidance to study something useful that you could do with some level of skill and not just study art and music.
some things you could do: technical school, a 2nd degree, graduate school.
See if you can get a job at a temp agency. I don't remember what it was like to be a fresh graduate, but I had a job waiting for me at a major corporation thanks to a family connection so I have no input for you here.
My daughter is in college and she plans on studying pharmacy but for now she is working during her free time at a lab for money with the hope that her time with the scientists will lead to job references as well as experience after college.
did you work with any professors while in college or did you just party and drink?
employability is something I would groom from high school in my kids but as a parent I look for strengths for each child and try to move them in a direction they would not mind taking when their prefrontal cortex kicks in and they no longer strive to be instagram famous.
don't give up your love of the arts, that could be a side thing you do to keep you grounded.
I actually failed at moving to California earlier this year. I had to come back home because I was too timid and too afraid to really try to make things happen there, and spent more money than I wish I had. That said, I probably should have pur there because I do not really have a solid place to stay here either. I am sleeping on a couch in very a small house shared with my sister and her preschooler. This is also a blue collar, Rust Belt area and I don't know where I'd find employment. I just feel so out of place.
often where you live can dictate what you find. if there's nothing near you to work other than fast food, it's probably time to move. some place with good job prospects can change your life quickly.
you don't have to move to either coast where competition is fierce, the high population density mean hundreds of people more qualified than you for any position.
It would be easier to first determine your desired career path and then determine where to live. If you want to be say, an investment banker-- where you'd need to live (NYC) is quite different than if you wanted to be an aerospace engineer or anything else.
What do you enjoy doing? Do you prefer a city, the 'burbs, or the country? What do you (realistically) want to be when you grow up?
Agreed. At least I finally realized that you need to work towards things and everyone starts at the bottom. I think I am overwhelmed with bitterness right now because of this realization.
That's a perfect start; you're doing well if you've already realized this, and nothing about this statement smacks of narcissism. Many of us (I count myself) thought that getting a great job right out of college would be a breeze, and I was shocked to the core; I had unrealistic ideas, so I altered them quickly without lowering them. You'll do well if you believe in yourself. Good luck!
Learn to swallow your pride and realize that a job that you may have considered beneath you is still a job. Also realize that ANY job is better than no job at all, and if you are hired for a job, whatever it is is worth doing well. There is no point to doing anything unless you give your best effort. If you can keep that in mind, it will serve you well no matter where you go or what you do.
In fact, if you can keep that in your mind and consistently strive towards it, you'll be ahead of the game vs a lot of your peers, who also feel like you do. Employers will notice this, and soon it will be your peers who are wondering why you got the promotion instead of them, or why you get paid more than they do.
Narcissists generally do not recognize it or vehemently deny it.
This. True narcissists are overwhelmingly self absorbed and yet are incapable of recognizing it. Even if others point out these issues to them they will deny it and will interpret it as an attack on themselves and their ego instead of recognizing it as help.
True narcissists are also completely incapable of change and have absolutely zero accountabilty regarding their actions. It is always someone elses fault.
I actually failed at moving to California earlier this year.
I'm not trying to hurt your feelings but this was a big mistake. The CA job market (and economy in general) is really bad unless you've got a MS in computer science or electrical engineering and can work in silicon valley. CA taxes are outrageous. They also have high unemployment, high gas prices, ultra high housing costs and their government is in the poor house.
I think CA is actually losing about 20k people a year to other states (heard it on NPR if I remember) and there are very good reasons for it. People are fed up with everything I mentioned before so many are moving to AZ, UT and OR.
If I were you I'd move to the midwest. You can buy a decent house in a decent neighborhood in Kansas City for about $130k. Overland Park is often cited as one of Americas best cities in which to live.
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