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Unless I am seriously deluding myself, I strive to be pleasant and polite to everyone*. However, here on C-D, it seems that SOME people will often look for hostility even when there is no hostility present, and they will become very hostile (and insulting). I have noticed this not only toward my own posts, but to many other posters, as well -- posters I can rely on being reasonable, nice and pleasant at least 99% of the time will often have very unkind things, imo, said to them in reply. The weird thing is that I don't think that most of the hostile people are trolls, necessarily, but they just seem to enjoy making others feel bad about themselves.
Do you agree or not? And if you do agree, why do you think those people do that?
(And, yes, it is easy to say "just ignore them", but I am the type that takes things to heart, and an unkind comment can spoil the rest of my day -- or at least an hour or so of it.)
*The exception is on Current Events and P&OC forums sometimes, in which I am very opinionated and often blunt, although I try very hard to never be actually insulting to other posters.
Last edited by katharsis; 03-11-2018 at 09:32 AM..
It seems that many like to attack people who start threads with problems especially if it has to do with other people. They will side with the "other" person.
I think people who use insults instead of a legitimate argument do so because they really don't have good argument or can't really support their own views will attack personally. Then there are the know it all who think there is only their way of doing things will insult others if the have a different opinion. They then use their personal view as a go ahead to attack others. Some do it covertly some not so much.
Sometimes I get sick of them then put them on ignore list but usually take them off. I just choose to not let them get to me. I don't personally know them so that's pretty easy. Plus it's entertaining as to have far certain individuals go to support their view.
I've seen a few instances where some is "appalled" at something one person says, when it really is not anything to be appalled at, whip up such over the top negative comments from others the thread needs to be closed. The original negative commentator probably gets some thrill at winding people up.
Last edited by Izzie1213; 03-11-2018 at 10:28 AM..
It might depend on perspective. Everyone probably thinks they are nice and their intentions are the best.
Recently someone called my thinking "bizarre." I should have ignored it, but I replied and said I thought their thinking was "bizarre." They got all insulted. They forgot, I guess, they had used exactly the same word.
Anytime I post at CD it's to describe something I am not sure about and would like other opinions. At first, there usually are some helpful replies. But then it's like vultures swoop down and say anything they can think of to make me doubt my own sanity. Then I try to defend myself, and that just brings on more of them, madder than ever.
Every time I post, I try to remind myself to ignore everything except well-meaning replies. But then I feel like I have to defend myself, again.
It is really too bad, because we could all help each other so much. I am NOT saying I expect people to agree with everything I say. That would not be helpful at all. But you can disagree in a polite and respectful way. It is NOT respectful to tell someone their thinking is "bizarre."
I wind up feeling angry and trying to insult them back. Time is wasted, and nothing good is learned from it.
I've been attacked since I arrived at C-D with my CHOICE of healing health issues. Talk about stress and then thinking one needs to defend themselves, it should not have to be that way.
Many have their agendas and totally don't agree with your viewpoints and so attack. And it snowballs with others who think their way, get on board the snowball.
I see it as very immature and a Closed Mind. As I see it, it's fine to disagree but to work to bring others down...good grief they really work at that.
I use to go in Politics and even occasionally start a post, but I can't do that anymore. Talk about battle ground scenes.
I think maybe some people use the forums to elevate their own self-image. So, for example, if someone posts about a problem they are having, you can make them feel like an idiot for having that problem. You can try to convince them it's all their own fault. Then you can feel superior, because you don't have that particular problem.
The reality of life is that everyone has all kinds of problems. If I have one that you don't have, maybe you have one that I don't have. That is why these forums COULD be valuable. If only people could remember they are not superior to anyone, just different.
I've seen very strange behavior on the relocation (city/state) forums. Members who attack a new member inquiring about an area they're planning a move to, if the OP doesn't return within 24 hrs. to post on their own thread. That, alone, garners them "troll" accusations, on some of the city/region forums.
Members who provide valuable advice about a city, for a relo inquiry, attacked by other members who, for unknown reasons, make a concerted effort to discredit the respondent as a reliable source of info. I don't know how a website whose main purpose is to provide info on cities, regions, and states can function, with that type of activity allowed. It's baffling. The behavior is baffling, except that in some cases, it seems to come from young people, who don't know the area under discussion as well as they think they do, so they bash the well-informed members? It makes no sense.
But Good4Nothin may be onto something; it may be about creating or elevating a self-image of being an expert. So they put down the real experts? Still doesn't make sense, but then....humans often don't make sense.
I've seen very strange behavior on the relocation (city/state) forums. Members who attack a new member inquiring about an area they're planning a move to, if the OP doesn't return within 24 hrs. to post on their own thread. That, alone, garners them "troll" accusations, on some of the city/region forums.
Members who provide valuable advice about a city, for a relo inquiry, attacked by other members who, for unknown reasons, make a concerted effort to discredit the respondent as a reliable source of info. I don't know how a website whose main purpose is to provide info on cities, regions, and states can function, with that type of activity allowed. It's baffling. The behavior is baffling, except that in some cases, it seems to come from young people, who don't know the area under discussion as well as they think they do, so they bash the well-informed members? It makes no sense.
But Good4Nothin may be onto something; it may be about creating or elevating a self-image of being an expert. So they put down the real experts? Still doesn't make sense, but then....humans often don't make sense.
Real Experts???? There are no real experts, everyone is learning until the day they expire.
Bringing others down just boosts their Egos and they must need that.
It seems that many like to attack people who start threads with problems especially if it has to do with other people. They will side with the "other" person.
^This. Almost like clockwork.
Awhile back I was reading through a thread like this.
Granted, the OP of that thread was suggesting an
unconventional approach to handling a sticky situation,
but the irony (and I eventually articulated this as an
observer) was that the OP was repeatedly labeled "self-
righteous" in posts that were, themselves, self-righteous.
I must've hit a nerve because one response told me not
to be silly, in their attempt to justify the irony-meter-
breaking nature of the responses.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Good4Nothin
Anytime I post at CD it's to describe something I am not sure about and would like other opinions. At first, there usually are some helpful replies. But then it's like vultures swoop down and say anything they can think of to make me doubt my own sanity. Then I try to defend myself, and that just brings on more of them, madder than ever.
This is just speculation, but I have to wonder if some of
those posts are by design. Artificial stirring of the pot to
keep the platform going. I have to keep myself from asking
them how much they're getting paid to post these (now
eerily predictable) kinds of responses. No other forum I'm
on has this issue (yet).
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