I was going to suggest becoming a Solid Gold Dancer. My DH assures me that it's never too late.
But then...... I realized you aren't in any position to start a new career,job or function in a healthy relationship. You need to seek psychological help. I'm not being snarky but the attitude displayed in this thread is alarming. Do you have anger or drug issues yourself? Have you ever been treated medically for depression,bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. There is a reason your so unhappy. It's the consequences of bad choices and its a vacuum that will swallow you up until you decide to make a change. Being medically stabilized and a good therapist can help you understand why you make the decisions you do and increase your awareness of what your weaknesses are and when to seek support or do the opposite of what failed the last time.