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While all of us eventually lie to a greater or lesser degree, I have to say that I had the -- perhaps dubious -- privilege of having been raised by a father whom I never knew to tell a lie.
He practiced a whole heckuva lot of silence, and extremely restrained diplomacy.
Some people , many of them technical or engineering types -- or even somewhere on 'the spectrum' -- are simply hard wired to keep silent or to blurt out unlovely truths, but just don't have it in them to lie.
The whole olidea of somebody announcing that they "don't lie" is such a big red flag to me that they might as well tattoo the words Con Artist on their forehead.
I just mentioned something similar in a TV thread on the show COPS. I binge watched for a few weekends, and saw over and over how people would tell the police officers "I'm gonna be honest with you...." or "I swear to God, this is the truth..." then they would lie to the cops. It got to be really funny after a few episodes of the same thing over and over. Yes, I agree with the others who are saying that if somebody feels the need to preface a statement with something about how honest they are, what they say next is probably a lie.
Thanks for saving me many keystrokes.
"Now this is the God-honest truth!" means to me it isn't.
Why would someone say, "Let's be honest, here..."? I automatically disbelieve anything that follows.
Or should I believe that ONLY when they preface their statements with that comment, are they being honest? And the rest of the time they're lying? Either way, it's a fool's errand to believe them or much of anything they say.
While all of us eventually lie to a greater or lesser degree, I have to say that I had the -- perhaps dubious -- privilege of having been raised by a father whom I never knew to tell a lie.
He practiced a whole heckuva lot of silence, and extremely restrained diplomacy.
Some people , many of them technical or engineering types -- or even somewhere on 'the spectrum' -- are simply hard wired to keep silent or to blurt out unlovely truths, but just don't have it in them to lie.
The whole olidea of somebody announcing that they "don't lie" is such a big red flag to me that they might as well tattoo the words Con Artist on their forehead.
Yeah usually if people say they don't lie that's a bad sign but me being non neurotypical I don't know how to lie. I don't have it in me. On the rare occasions I have tried to lie it is so detectable it's not even funny. Sometimes I really try to because I don't like to share how I'm feeling so when I am asked "what's wrong" I will constantly say I'm fine but it's easy to see through it.
Unfortunately for me in society you are taught to lie to get by. The best I can do is stay silent (I'm a reserved/introverted person so that's not too difficult in a general sense) but that doesn't always work because i.e. with interviews you have to give them full answers so I apparently have to try to find a way to make the truth work for me and that is one of the most impossible things.
Last edited by Nickchick; 01-03-2016 at 08:37 PM..
"I never lie" has got to be one of the most self-incriminating statements ever.
I still find it amusing that Human Resources will ask you if you're a liar. If you say yes, you're actually an honest person....but you won't get the job. If you say no, both you and the HR person will know it's a lie but you'll get the job because that's the "correct" answer.
For almost 20 years, I have been virtually 99% truthful, although I will "shade" or tell partial truths if telling a blunt, unvarnished truth will hurt someone's feelings. (The 1% came from pretending there was a Santa, Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy when they were very young. But, when she did ask me outright when she was about seven or eight, I did tell her the truth then.)
The reason for this was due to having foster kids whom we later adopted. They had come from a home in which their mother simply could not be trusted to tell the truth, or trusted about anything, period. (She was a felon with multiple convictions of shoplifting, check fraud, identity theft, etc.) When the kids came into my home, the older child, age five, was firmly convinced that EVERYONE lies and told me so. I told her that my husband and I would always tell her the truth.
Well, naturally, she tested me on this on many occasions, such as saying to one of my acquaintances with me standing there, "My mom said that you talk too much, didn't you, Mom?" And so I would have to say, "Yes, I did, because I think" (looking at the person) "you do sometimes go on and on, but not all the time." (It did not take me too long to learn to keep my opinions to myself around her!) But the positive thing was that I learned that it IS very freeing to never tell a lie.
As a kind of postscript to this, when my daughter was in middle school, she told me that one of her friends said to her, "Everyone lies", and my daughter said, "I told her that MY mom doesn't!" I laughed and said, "Except for Santa", and she said, "Yeah, except for that, but that doesn't count!"
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