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Is anyone here familiar with the psychological concept called "fear of missing out?" And if so, do you ever experience it? The basic idea is that you find yourself mentally unsettled when you're unable to be a part of something, as though a huge opportunity is passing you by. Such as, you're invited to a party but you're away that weekend. While you should be excitied about your trip, you're instead bummed about missing the party.
I think I've always had this issue, but never had a name for it. In particular, I tend to struggle mentally when I have to choose between two activities that will occur at the same time. I suspect this stems from having a rather limited social life, and as such the two conflicting events might be the only things I have going on over a period of several weeks. It can be maddening to have a ton of free time on my hands and then have to say no to something I really want to do.
Sometimes I do this to an extreme. It actually happened to me twice this morning, and both occurrences are based on conflicts that might happen, but are far from definite. Both are also months away, so it's absurd that I'm even thinking about it right now.
I feel a weird blend of upset, and relief. I can always see the silver lining, so I get the relief there, I guess. Like I found out kind of last minute that Primus was playing Red Rocks again. I saw them there once, and it was AMAZING. But it was really too late for me to arrange both my budget and my schedule to make it happen. I felt the "FOMO" effect but also relief because I was going to save money by NOT going, so at least there was that.
I see this with a lot of young people (under 30) who become weirdly entrenched in doing the same things, going to the same places, fearing new experiences, just like old people who are afraid of change.
One of them explained it was just this, FOMO. Too much choice and a fear that whatever they choose will be disappointing.
It's so strange to me. It's as if they feel like they have a limited number of experiences in life and are terrified of having the wrong one.
I felt like I was missing out since becoming a senior citizen envying people in the 20s-30s so I just did a mental head-flip and I joined them. So me and my lady will be the old couple dancing along side with them.
There is no need to fear missing out. Just join in.
The problem is when you feel like you are missing out and do nothing about it.
"When I was in my 20's, single, and living by myself, I think I felt this, more than I do now. Especially on the weekends.
I'm free! I have my own place, I can go out, no one to tell me what time to come home! Yay! I got invited to do this thing! (Phone rings) Crap, I got invited to this party on the same evening as my other plans."
So then I wrestle with lots of feelings and decisions. Since I already committed to the first thing, I should probably do the first thing...but I pout, because the second thing sounds more fun. But person A is my best friend, and I can't leave her hanging, but dang, there's a party...
I see this with a lot of young people (under 30) who become weirdly entrenched in doing the same things, going to the same places, fearing new experiences, just like old people who are afraid of change.
One of them explained it was just this, FOMO. Too much choice and a fear that whatever they choose will be disappointing.
It's so strange to me. It's as if they feel like they have a limited number of experiences in life and are terrified of having the wrong one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovehound
I felt like I was missing out since becoming a senior citizen envying people in the 20s-30s so I just did a mental head-flip and I joined them. So me and my lady will be the old couple dancing along side with them.
There is no need to fear missing out. Just join in.
The problem is when you feel like you are missing out and do nothing about it.
Dance!
I'm not sure these examples are the same as what I'm thinking of. Those seem to describe people who won't try new things because they fear change. That is indeed very common, but I believe it's a different concept than "fear of missing out."
I think this concept affects people in two ways:
1. We obsess about events that we want to attend but are unable to, feeling as though it's going to be a big deal that "everyone else" will get to experience and we won't.
2. We talk ourselves into going to an event that we really don't want to do, but again we feel like it will end up being somehow life-changing and we'll regret it if we aren't there.
There could be other examples, but these are the ones the tend to apply to me specifically.
One of the things that I think of with this concept, isn't that everyone else will be enjoying a good time and I'm not, but the fear that I'll not have the opportunity in the future and I'll regret that I didn't do it when I had the chance. Like if it's a concert, what if that band breaks up and you never get to see them?
My very favorite band had a fun little side project I would have, over the years, absolutely killed to have seen live. I found out so much later, that back before I was familiar enough with the trivia of the main band to know about the side projects, they actually played at a bar next door to where I was working, and there's a good chance I missed them by ~that much~ just because I didn't know the side project was what it was. And they stopped playing as that little act and never toured again, and the singer is dead now. This was like...almost 20 years ago, and I'm still a little bent about it.
We all have little regrets like that, so I think it's a big driver of the whole FOMO thing that we don't want to make any new ones.
I am familiar with it but I don't think I've experienced it very often. I think people with certain personality types seem to have it more than others.
there are specific treatment centers that specialize in this and they are pretty well filled up with young teens and even middle aged men who are addicted to social media or video gaming.
the wonderful thing about the internet is you can look up mental health groups like NAMI or self help groups in your area, contact a local hospital to see if they offer a support group....at the very least do seek some help with a therapist who specializes in this.... and they should be a great conduit for more groups or ways to handle this. Bright bright blessings and much good luck. All addictions should not be seen as a weakness, these are true and debilitating conditions thousands of people wage daily battles with.
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"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
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Quote:
Originally Posted by michael917
Is anyone here familiar with the psychological concept called "fear of missing out?" And if so, do you ever experience it? The basic idea is that you find yourself mentally unsettled when you're unable to be a part of something, as though a huge opportunity is passing you by. Such as, you're invited to a party but you're away that weekend. While you should be excitied about your trip, you're instead bummed about missing the party.
I think I've always had this issue, but never had a name for it. In particular, I tend to struggle mentally when I have to choose between two activities that will occur at the same time. I suspect this stems from having a rather limited social life, and as such the two conflicting events might be the only things I have going on over a period of several weeks. It can be maddening to have a ton of free time on my hands and then have to say no to something I really want to do.
Sometimes I do this to an extreme. It actually happened to me twice this morning, and both occurrences are based on conflicts that might happen, but are far from definite. Both are also months away, so it's absurd that I'm even thinking about it right now.
Can anyone here relate to this topic?
I'm not sure everyone in this thread understood what you're referring to, but I have FOMO in spades. Really. I go to every single thing I'm invited to, if I'm in town and available.
Jewelry party where you have to buy something while you sip wine and eat crackers and cheese? Yep, I'll be there, and I'll look for something that's about $35. High School graduation open house party when I don't even know the graduate, but I do know the mom who sent me an invitation? Yep, I'll be there with a gift and a cheerful attitude.
Movie and lunch where I really am not at all excited about the movie? I'll pretend to be busy for the movie, but can join the crowd for lunch, so see y'all there after the movie.
When I have conflicting things, I'll often try to go to both. Arrive on time at one and leave early, and arrive late to the other.
Meanwhile, I see my friends saying stuff like, well, I have too much to do that day, or I don't really know the graduate, or I really want a peaceful evening at home.
NOT ME!!!!! I'm there. I'm at the party.
Michael, I feel your pain. I know I'm acting oddly, but yeah, that's FOMO. Because I might miss some magical moment.
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