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Well done for deciding to leave and sticking to your decision. My heart goes out to you in what sounds like an awful situation. I'm not sure how things work where you are, but here in Sydney I'ld get in touch with domestic violence services. They can give suggestions on safety plans etc as well as offer counselling services. Also Google coping strategies for depression and ptsd. As suggested by someone else, exercise and healthy sleep patterns will be a good start.
Can you rekindle old friendships, call family etc so you're not feeling so isolated. There might also be some support groups for people going through similar experiences. Medication is not usually recommended as a first line treatment. However, if you feel it might help you to cope, please don't be made to feel guilty by those who haven't needed it. People cope differently so just because one thing worked for someone, it doesn't mean it will work for everyone! Wishing you all the best. Stay strong!
You have done all the right things... as suggested, change your phone number. Keep that appointment with your therapist or perhaps find another professional in the interim to talk to.
Keep the mind occupied.. obsess over a new hobby or interest... reach out and talk to someone even if it isn't a therapist... I've always reached out to a close friend and she was a life saver. Just a person to listen and provide some perspective.
Keep a bunch of help line numbers handy and don't hesitate to call them.
You've taken a big step. For now, treat yourself well. And maybe ask your shrink for an emergency appointment or if he can recommend someone who could provide immediate services?
Beyond that:
Take walks.
Try some yoga.
Try new things in general.
Avoid romantic relationships until you get your head straight.
Also avoid alcohol - it can make a bad mood worse.
Long hot baths are wonderful.
Spend time with your friends and family. This is the time to reach out to people, even if maybe it's been a while.
And do not under any circumstances answer that phone - change your number, as others have suggested.
You took a big step towards freedom from a violent relationship; but it is just the first step.
It is imperative you have absolutely NO contact with him; no phone calls; texts; e-mails; snail mail; in-person contact. He will attempt to make contact, that is the MO of a controlling abuser. He may try to sweet talk his way back into your life, banking on the way you fell for his line of crap the first time. He knows your weak areas and how to push your buttons.
You may at some point need to file for a protection order. . . but if you do, please know that for some of these abusers a PO means nothing more to them than a piece of paper.
When you are finally able to begin counseling; one of the most important objectives is to discover "Why you were with him in the first place." We can easily make a list of the things wrong with 'him' and 'what he did to us'. . . but unless you find out why you chose to be with him you could very easily fall into the same trap again; and the next guy could be just as bad or worse.
There is something/someone that effected you during your life that led you to (consciously or unconsciously) have feelings of low self-worth; low self-esteem; and little to no self-respect. That is the key: knowing "Why". Once you find that out about yourself you will begin the life-long rewarding journey of personal growth that will lead to a more enriched and fulling life.
For some women, they are actually emotionally addicted to their abuser; these guys know what to say to pull the women in and they end up being the woman's 'emotional filling station'. He tells her all the things she believes she needs to hear to feel complete.
I've been a victim of domestic violence and am on my 'journey'; finding out the 'Why' was a revelation that opened up a new world. Have you seen the movie "The Wizard of Oz"? Wherein the beginning was in black and white, and then after the tornado Dorothy opened the door and her world was now in technicolor? That is exactly how I felt once I learned the answers. I no longer focused on him and what he did. . . my focus was on me and finding my way in my new world.
You have just survived a huge trauma and there will be fall out from that. If you can access support in dealing with that please do so, but also understand your reactions are entirely normal after such an ordeal.
I agree with others also would say you have a Personal Responsibility to report him and the assault to Police, also get a restraining order, for both yourself and the Next Girl - because guys like this eat Nice Girls for breakfast
Plus if you were drinking a lot up to the that night your brain and body are going thru a bit of withdrawal. It is normal to feel how you are feeling, even though it sucks now. No more drastic changes to ur appearance as you may regret those. Be kind to yourself and get that PO against him. Be single for awhile -do not go running into the arms of another for solace. Get a journal, be kind to yourself.
I don't even know you but I'm so proud of you. This takes serious courage, and isn't easy, speaking as someone who's also had and left an abusive relationship in the past.
You can't just go through all that and then skip away happily to the sunset like nothing ever happened. It's still a huge change, so allow yourself to grieve. If you don't feel any better and it interferes with your life, talk to a counselor.
But first and foremost, change your number ASAP. And delete every trace of him possible.
you have done everything right. Only one thing missing: change your phone number.
Yup, either that or block him....do make sure you're safe and feel free to call a crisis hotline and I bet they will not only help but direct you to other places that can help.
Things will improve, keep that top of mind!
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take care
