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If someone were to ask you a question It can be something as simple as when your birthday is, and you answer the question, but after that, you ask "Why"? When you ask "why" following an answered question, is it normally that you are offended or on guard from that person asking you whatever question they ask?
Don't know if this is relevant, but "Dear Abby" used to advise that if someone asks you a personal question that you don't want to answer (for example, "When are you two going to have kids?"), that you should deflect it back to them in the form of "Why do you ask?"
In short, she was saying that asking Why? is one way of saying "that is none of your business."
But, OTOH, it could be just a simple question with an innocent reason behind it. For example, for the "When is your birthday?", maybe the questioner just wants to know your astrological sign or wants to send give a card or gift to you. However, asking for someone birth date could be pure nosiness in wanting to know how old someone is -- and, yes, to many people, that IS a personal and MYOB kind of question.
It is the preliminary first step to establishing boundaries -- and an excellent, diplomatic one.
It point blank questions someone's motives.
It makes things clear that 'I will discuss something lightly and in general terms if your motive for asking is decent and considerate, but it's probably not something I want to discuss in depth -- either because I am sensitive about it, or I suspect you may have ulterior or predatory motives.'
"That's a nice car you just bought. How much did it cost?"
"Why do you ask?"
Potential answers could range all the way from:
"I've been looking for one just like it myself, with the same XYZ trim package you got. Joe Blow dealership wants $XX,000, and I wondered if it was a fair price ", to
"You can afford something nice like that, so I'm sure you'll be able to pitch in generously for our cousin's girlfriend's aunt's pastor's son's school fundraiser. I'll put you down for ten cases of frozen sausage."
It is the preliminary first step to establishing boundaries -- and an excellent, diplomatic one.
It point blank questions someone's motives.
It makes things clear that 'I will discuss something lightly and in general terms if your motive for asking is decent and considerate, but it's probably not something I want to discuss in depth -- either because I am sensitive about it, or I suspect you may have ulterior or predatory motives.'
"That's a nice car you just bought. How much did it cost?"
"Why do you ask?"
Potential answers could range all the way from:
"I've been looking for one just like it myself, with the same XYZ trim package you got. Joe Blow dealership wants $XX,000, and I wondered if it was a fair price ", to
"You can afford something nice like that, so I'm sure you'll be able to pitch in generously for our cousin's girlfriend's aunt's pastor's son's school fundraiser. I'll put you down for ten cases of frozen sausage."
If someone were to ask you a question It can be something as simple as when your birthday is, and you answer the question, but after that, you ask "Why"? When you ask "why" following an answered question, is it normally that you are offended or on guard from that person asking you whatever question they ask?
No, sometimes I need context to properly answer a question. i.e. Q: "What is your address?" A: "Why do you ask (because I have a mailing address and a home address)."
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