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After many years of trying to get certain tasks done(education, weight loss,. etc) I've come to realize that self-motivation is non-existent for me.
With that, I've finally decided that surrounding, befriending, and perhaps just being near persons with a certain mindset, or goal would go a long way in helping me stay focused on what I want to achieve in life.
I mean, I hang around a bunch of fit and smart persons, I all of a sudden have this drive to want to be at their level in order to consider myself "one of them".
At the current time, my present location and job doesn't expose me to a whole lot of that.
Then of course there's persons like my younger brother and a younger who continually insist upon the self-motivation/warrior-mindset.
I don't know if they keep trouncing that because it worked for them, or if there's something they're seeing in me that I don't see myself.
That and the fact that perhaps their older brother acting like the younger one is a bit disturbing to them for whatever reason.
That said, I'm more of a person that seeks out external motivation at any avenue I could achieve it through.
That and the position of "leader" in anything just seems too much of a task for myself to be willing to handle.
Short answer there, but I'll take it.
Problem is, I just want to find the right way and get the main task done.
Right now, it seems like all I'm doing is experimenting with different ways of getting things done and taking too long to get that done.
So far, the only thing I've done at this point was net myself a couple of interviews with jobs that have a 40-50 hour work-week and a set schedule.
Not much right now, but once I knock my work schedule back down to something I feel I could manage(60-70 hours a week and variable start times keeps you feeling tired all the time), everything else should be easier to tackle systematically.
Sure, there's some that could juggle 60+hour work-weeks and still get things done.
But I'm no longer wanting to prove that I'm some sort of super-human to any one.
That and it would be nice to have some sort of life again as well.
and what does this mean?? be happy?? be yourself??
vague terms that mean very little
sounds like you have little ambition,,,,
success/achievement/accomplishment, all seem to be impuned by society,,
ill save the motivational speech and just say,,,,its too bad many are self-anchored,,,if you were a young bird,,,you wouldn't take the risk of flying and probly be eaten by a snake,,
if you want nice things,,,most have to work for it,,
if you want to be fit,,,,and feel good,,,then drop the sweets and junk food,,and work out,,,its that simple,,,
its a good thing most of us don't have to hunt to eat anymore,,,,,, half the population would starve
As you probably know, putting a lot of work and commitment into something that you don't really want seldom works. It is not just "you". People have to want to do something for themselves (although "doing it for myself" might translate to doing it for [whoever] because you love [whoever] more than you do yourself.)
If you truly do want to get a better job, be in better health, etc., then you will do whatever it takes to achieve that (assuming it is an achievable goal, that is).
However, here are two tiny pieces of advice that worked for me. I am going to use the example of dieting because that is what my major challenge has been for 40 years. (I will lose the weight -- usually about 25 pounds -- and then over a period of about three years it will slowly come back, and then I will diet again.)
1. Whenever I am tempted to have a second helping or a high-calorie dessert, I ask myself, "Would I rather have that piece of pie, or would I rather get down to ___ pounds?" The answer is usually No. 2, although if I REALLY want that pie, then I will go ahead and have it. (But, usually, the self-question works.)
2. I keep a chart that lists, by week, current weight, goal weight loss, actual weight loss, and weight loss to date. If I can actually SEE (so to speak) my progress, it helps to keep me motivated.
Also, although I personally am not a "joiner", I have known people to whom some kind of support group that they had to "report" to was very helpful.
But, again, the key is that you must really WANT to achieve your goal. If you just "wish" that you would, you are probably not going to get there.
Good luck!
Last edited by katharsis; 01-10-2016 at 08:22 AM..
The weight and fitness thing I feel I could fix up easier than my academic suckage.
I'm contemplating getting and paying for a personal trainer to get me up to speed and stick with it long enough to keep myself in some permanent shape.
And then of course the longer term goal of getting into some line of work that also involves physical activity.
These beverage delivery and warehouse delivery trucking jobs I see and apply for seem to entail much physical activity in addition to actual driving.
The only people who tell me to steer clear of these jobs are the guys driving the sedentary, long-haul, 48-state BS.
Once I have that down, I'll start working back on the academic thing and eventually find a way to rise out of that slump.
Nothing wrong with the time that avenue might take.
But at the same time, nothing wrong with the thoughts of retiring as a 90 year old doctor or engineer.
Figure finally get it done by 60, and start banking away that money over a thirty year career from that point.
and what does this mean?? be happy?? be yourself??
vague terms that mean very little
sounds like you have little ambition,,,,
success/achievement/accomplishment, all seem to be impuned by society,,
ill save the motivational speech and just say,,,,its too bad many are self-anchored,,,if you were a young bird,,,you wouldn't take the risk of flying and probly be eaten by a snake,,
if you want nice things,,,most have to work for it,,
if you want to be fit,,,,and feel good,,,then drop the sweets and junk food,,and work out,,,its that simple,,,
its a good thing most of us don't have to hunt to eat anymore,,,,,, half the population would starve
He's already found what works for him, surrounding himself with ambitious inspiring people. Some people need that external motivation. Not sure what you are trying to prove talking down to the OP.
He's already found what works for him, surrounding himself with ambitious inspiring people. Some people need that external motivation. Not sure what you are trying to prove talking down to the OP.
I've found it's more than likely the only thing that will work best.
In fact, it seems as though pretty much most of the things I've done in my life have either been directly, or indirectly inspired by some sort of external influence.
The only reason I've brought this whole entire thing up was due to noticing the exchanges I've had with various people in regards to self vs. non-self motivation.
First time I had these doubts/realizations was when I was 14.
Back when I had some wildly, crazy, possibly unrealistic dreams about obtaining an engineering degree, then somehow getting an officer's commission in the USMC and flying Harrier Jump-jets(of course all I cared about were the fancy toys back then and never about the true costs of what it took to run that blasted thing.)
Time slowly went on and the workload on the list looked a hundred miles long.
Got doubtful, and now here I am still trying to swim through that sea of doubt.
The job I've been doing for the past, several years to me being only a mere, buoy in the stormy sea that I'm clutching on to.
Now here I am at 32 where others the same age and younger have it all together much better than I do in the career goals department.
Maybe I should just admit that as tough as I instinctively try to make myself seem, hard work seems to either anger me, or scare me to death into eventually finding a way to sneak around it.
Short answer there, but I'll take it.
Problem is, I just want to find the right way and get the main task done.
Right now, it seems like all I'm doing is experimenting with different ways of getting things done and taking too long to get that done.
So far, the only thing I've done at this point was net myself a couple of interviews with jobs that have a 40-50 hour work-week and a set schedule.
Not much right now, but once I knock my work schedule back down to something I feel I could manage(60-70 hours a week and variable start times keeps you feeling tired all the time), everything else should be easier to tackle systematically.
Sure, there's some that could juggle 60+hour work-weeks and still get things done.
But I'm no longer wanting to prove that I'm some sort of super-human to any one.
That and it would be nice to have some sort of life again as well.
Have you read The Power of Habit? I think you'll find it useful.
But you are correct in saying that hanging around other people with the qualities you want to have is helpful. I DO think relying on yourself is a good thing. But it shouldn't be an either/or. Hanging around other people who have healthy habits and attitudes definitely does help. The authors of The Longevity Project found out that kids from family backgrounds where there was a divorce (those with divorced parents don't live as long, on average), did better if they hung around other people with healthy habits. This was an 80 year study of 1500 people, so I take it seriously.
Have you read The Power of Habit? I think you'll find it useful.
But you are correct in saying that hanging around other people with the qualities you want to have is helpful. I DO think relying on yourself is a good thing. But it shouldn't be an either/or. Hanging around other people who have healthy habits and attitudes definitely does help. The authors of The Longevity Project found out that kids from family backgrounds where there was a divorce (those with divorced parents don't live as long, on average), did better if they hung around other people with healthy habits. This was an 80 year study of 1500 people, so I take it seriously.
I'll check it out. I'm not big on self-help novels at the bookstore, but if it isn't anything like that corny book about "Parachutes"(books with a bunch of blank pages, ugh.), then I'll give it a read.
And yes. I've found that when I'm out riding or just hanging around with people on those social bicycle rides I try to get out to, I feel a little more inspired to do something when I'm rolling with them.
I can't begin to tell you how many times I've been on these rides and find I'm basically the only guy without an academic ounce of credit to his name.
Seems like I meet more fit and educated persons on bicycles than I do, say, at a rally of people driving lifted, mud-bogging pickup trucks.(One of the past-times of the two areas I've lived in up to this point. CA and NM)
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