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I am a highly sensitive person but I am a wall when it comes to random person's comments themselves. I wish I was more sensitive to that instead of other things. It must be nice to care about what other people say then when they compliment you you can believe them.
For me I'm far too complicated I care what they do not what they say and I will care more what an employer would say about me than a friend because a friend has no effect on my future. So basically one rejection lately can make me crumble but 100 people could tell me I'm beautiful or I'm worth it and you might as well be talking to the tree outside. Like I said my mentality values circumstantial validation. That's why therapy has never helped.
People have even got frustrated with this aspect of me. They tell me to be positive or how volunteering worked for them or something like that but they don't understand. There was one person in a chat room one time who finally just told me "I quit you obviously don't want help"
Actually even the wind has more effect on me than the majority of people. When that cold air blows right away I literally feel like I cannot breathe.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FurPan
There is always that crowd of nay-sayers who roll their eyes and say, "There goes someone else medicalising their personality like it makes them special." There are many who say similar things about high-functioning people who identify as being on the Autism Spectrum. So telling people you are an HSP may make them more irritated than not saying anything at all. Not very fair.
Yeah I get that sometimes and it boggles my mind. In fact it's pretty ironic to say that to sensitive people. Them making comments like that only demonstrates even more how much it is a struggle to be special/"special". Personally as I said up there I'm not worried about random comments like that but it is difficult to feel detached from the world at times because I know I would need that connection to be successful in life.
Last edited by Nickchick; 02-12-2016 at 11:59 AM..
I am a highly sensitive person but I am a wall when it comes to random person's comments themselves. I wish I was more sensitive to that instead of other things. It must be nice to care about what other people say then when they compliment you you can believe them.
For me I'm far too complicated I care what they do not what they say and I will care more what an employer would say about me than a friend because a friend has no effect on my future. So basically one rejection lately can make me crumble but 100 people could tell me I'm beautiful or I'm worth it and you might as well be talking to the tree outside. Like I said my mentality values circumstantial validation. That's why therapy has never helped.
I am similar, but a tad opposite. For example, I never cared what a boss thought of me. And sometimes where I had a boss whom I wanted to smack because they seem to micro-manage too much. lol I am very shy, socially. But in a professional setting, it's not a big deal. And if I am searching for a job and get rejected, it's frustrating, but doesn't really hurt me. Being rejected by a man I may have been interested in will hurt me quicker than that.
Then with compliments. I am usually indifferent to those as well. Unless they are coming from men I like - and even with that, it's gotten to a point that if their compliments are followed by a date invitation, they mean nothing.
Spoiler
So, I almost don't count just compliments for much, in general. When they come from family, friends, and/or other women, it does nothing. I just give a fake smile, and say thank you. My mother gets annoyed with this part of me. She loves attention, regardless of whom it's from. But I am not the same. If I receive a compliment, she gets more excited about it than I do. Once I had my earbuds in, listing to music. She taps me and tells me I was receiving tons of compliments on my hair from women in the salon that I didn't even hear. I told her I didn't care about compliments from other women. .She said nothing else, and just gave a sigh. Once I was dressed to go somewhere, and she laughs,, stating how all the guys next-door were waving and staring. I once again shrugged it off as all those guys were drunks, obnoxious, and dressed like slobs. So I again commented how I didn't care. She was not happy about my lack of care then either. She wants me to enjoy all positive attention, and I don't. Only from certain people do does it count for anything.
My high sensitivity seems random. Sometimes things happen, and I couldn't care less. Then other things happen, that I may call embarrassing, and that's what will upset me. When I was learning to drive and practicing, I made a lot of mistakes, and at one point I actually cried due to being embarrassed and frustrated. Or incidents that happened years ago in school that I still get upset/embarrassed about when I remember them.
Sticks and stones can hurt you physically. Words can not do that.
But words can in fact hurt many people emotionally. And they do. And I am sure many people wouldn't openly chose to be hurt and upset. if they had a choice, some would probably wish they were heartless and empty. That breeds no sorrow.
And some will see emotional pain as worse than physical. It's like abuse in a relationship. Some partners can physically abuse by beating their partner. Slapping them, choking them, kicking them, knocking them out, etc. All of that does hurt, and is dangerous. But verbal abuse is just as much a problem. Not only to they hurt you physically, they tear you down mentally, with words. And that is almost as serious. Words do hurt plenty of people. Many, especially teens, have committed suicide over constant bullying and harsh words from people. My father was telling me about a young girl who killed herself after years of bullying...
A cut or a bruise or a broken bone heals far more easily than an injured spirit or a broken heart. We would do well to remember that some among us are closer to the edge than others. I believe none of us can really know what someone else is going through. To presume to judge that "you shouldn't get that upset" suggests that only the judge's sensitivities matter.
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