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Old 02-16-2016, 09:37 AM
 
299 posts, read 438,176 times
Reputation: 126

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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Yoga might help with your mental state, too. I have a friend who lives in Tucson, and she jokes that she's had to adopt "farmer's hours" to be able to be outside. She gets up really early and goes for walks or spends time outside before the heat gets going.

It's okay that you don't love where you are, but you can be proud of yourself that you left your comfort zone and you took a chance. That's a big deal and a good thing that you won't look back on and regret.
Thanks! The nice thing about living in a big city like Phoenix is that there's a lot of job opportunity and the cost of living is LOW. I can make what I make now and afford to live on my own in my early 20s. I agree most people have to run at 5am... since that's when it's about 80 degrees outside. As soon as it hits 8 a.m it's already 95-100 out... Arizona is AWFUL (heat-wise).
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Old 02-16-2016, 09:43 AM
 
299 posts, read 438,176 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scgali View Post
I would finish the program then move. I actually went through a similar time and had a 6 year plan. That was started when I was 24. I didn't like where I lived and wanted to move to HI. Had to finish grad program though and gain some work experience so I could actually find a job and afford the area I wanted to move to. It all worked out and I moved at 30 with a good job. I think that was way better than just winging it. In fact, I see sooo many people who move to HI without a plan or career and even though they love it, they can't afford to stay and either move back to where they came from, become homeless, or struggle with multiple jobs and can't enjoy themselves anyways.
You are young and have time. We live in Kauai part time and San Diego part time so I know SoCal as well and its not cheap either. Finish your education, get a good job (where you are or in SoCal). The reward of moving somewhere you love after working for it feels a lot better than just winging it.
And you will be able to actually enjoy where you want to live instead of stressing over money all the time.
Exactly... I am planning on going to either Southern California, or a place like Oregon/ Washington. Somewhere WAY more green than where I am now! But, if I go now with a psychology degree and a year of experience, I won't get hired at a salary that will make me able to live in a place that is so expensive like Seattle, or Los Angeles. I would love to be in Hawaii or San Diego... I just miss being near the ocean, and living in a place that's beautiful and feels like home. But that's why it costs SO much!! Because if everyone was able to live in Hawaii, or San Diego, they would. It's better to be able to move there with a job that allows me to enjoy where I live without constant stress about money....

I just wish two years didn't feel like so long... I know it's not, but day-to-day it feels like forever.
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Old 02-16-2016, 09:49 AM
 
299 posts, read 438,176 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by David Aguilar View Post
Make a plan to get out, then never look back.

I did this. I too am from California. As a young adult, I also moved to a desert town I hated (still within CA, however) to be closer to my mom (she moved there for cheap housing).

I didn't miss where I was from in CA, however, I just didn't want to live in that desert town my whole life. I knew there was more to the country than that, and didn't want to live the rest of my life *knowing* there was more out there. I busted my butt to save money to get out of there. And just when I had enough money to leave....

I met my wife. She was a native of said desert town. I stayed another two years. Told her I'm out, or we both are. I told her I couldn't live there my whole life, though she would have been content with doing so at the time.

She relented, and now we reside on the Great Plains within sight of the Rocky Mountains, and we've been here nine years.

It's mostly better. I'm not quite rotting away. We've both found careers, money, home ownership, kids, a few friends (but not a terrible amount of them). Some of the wife's family has moved here too.

You just have to accept and know that you won't be there forever. Have one foot out the door, if only in your mind. Your heart is telling you the truth, whether you accept it or not.
Very true... I just battle with regret, just thinking... why the hell did I ever leave California?! I never really realized how lucky I was to live in the Bay Area, near wine-country until I left and found myself in the desert-land. I never realized how much I would miss it until I was gone and now I miss it so much! I just long to be home and it's driving me crazy.... -.- but I guess you can't think TOO much about your wrong decisions, or you'll go mad....
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Old 02-16-2016, 10:47 AM
 
504 posts, read 849,826 times
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Quizillla, I empathize with you I'm also a Californian used to a short drive to the ocean (Would weekend-trip it to San Francisco very frequently, and go camping at Dillon's Beach, hit up bodega bay, redwoods, etc.), and all of my family and friends being back in CA while I'm in Phoenix. Been here 12 years now (Moved for a job offer that went nowhere) and still don't like it. It's already too warm for me in February haha! I stay, however, because it's pretty darn cheap and the husband and I both have good jobs. *shrug* Sort of resigned to being here due to the cost of living, for now.

I console myself with California house shopping and looking at pictures online LOL

Edit: I do try to get up to northern AZ though, it's very pretty up in that part of the state
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Old 02-16-2016, 11:20 AM
 
Location: MA
865 posts, read 1,484,336 times
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Its sometimes hard to find a graduate degree program that you love. I do not recommend changing schools - trust me! As a person who tried the graduate school route years ago, and was in one of the best MBA programs in the east coast, I can say grad schools are not all equal. I HATED it! I realize I went for the name, and networking ability, and actually did "enjoy" anything about it. Fast forward years later I am a specialist in my field, so it wasn't the worst move to drop out. Had I actually attended a school and program I liked though, my life would be so much different. So be careful with the idea of transferring schools.
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Old 02-16-2016, 11:57 AM
 
Location: interior Alaska
6,895 posts, read 5,829,033 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Quizillla View Post
How does one cope with living in a city that they HATE...well, STRONGLY dislike? How can I make it through the next two years without going bonkers?
This is how I felt living in Texas. I was committed for a two year contract and it would have been career suicide to break it. I stuck it out and in retrospect I'm glad I did, but it sure sucked at the time.

My advice, based on my experience:
1. Travel. Even a brief reprieve can provide mental refreshment. But it might be better to go somewhere new and fresh, rather than going back to what you're homesick for.

2. Escapism. Is there something you really enjoy, that transports you to a different mental space? I played a ton of RPG video games while in Texas.

3. Find local adventures. Yes, it's gross and hot and ugly and you hate it. But you'll feel less hostile toward it if you're doing things that are at least INTERESTING, even if fun is pushing it. Go to museums, whatever events the community is having, explore odd nooks and crannies, do day trips, etc.

4. If you have even a slight artistic bent, take up something like painting or photography. This can force you to find the beauty even in place that overall does not aesthetically please you. Photography has really changed how I look at things...drawn my attention more to interesting details, color combinations, etc. that I might not otherwise have noticed.
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Old 02-16-2016, 11:57 AM
 
1,527 posts, read 2,254,236 times
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At your age it's easy to have the grass is greener perspective. If you lived at home, you would be bemoaning how many years it would take you to be independent. Being an adult involves a LOT of compromises and two years is an extremely short period of time in the grand scheme of things. Others have posted a lot great suggestions. Keep looking to see what does float your boat about AZ and stop making it about all the ways it isn't. Perspective is great thing to have as you grow.
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Old 02-16-2016, 12:28 PM
 
731 posts, read 932,875 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Quizillla View Post
Very true... I just battle with regret, just thinking... why the hell did I ever leave California?! I never really realized how lucky I was to live in the Bay Area, near wine-country until I left and found myself in the desert-land. I never realized how much I would miss it until I was gone and now I miss it so much! I just long to be home and it's driving me crazy.... -.- but I guess you can't think TOO much about your wrong decisions, or you'll go mad....
You ARE lucky you did this move, because now you will appreciate California 100 times more when you move back! I've lived my whole life in Seattle and for the last 5 years I've wanted to move away SO badly (but have a husband and kids that don't want to). I feel stuck and grumpy.

So many people around me are so happy or contented here and I'm so jealous. I will say, however, that most of them aren't from here, so they have a perspective and experiences that I've never had.

Sometimes I wonder if I'd moved away at some point I could have come back and really appreciated it here, except that I now think I'm not as cut out for a large crowded city as I used to be. Personally I would be grateful for a 2 year plan. Instead I'm looking at 9 years before the kids are off to college. Then I'm OUT of here!

I truly wish I was content here, but instead I feel trapped and unhappy. I really need a new adventure. You've had one and when you go home, Dorothy, you will feel like there's no place like home. :-)
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Old 02-16-2016, 12:43 PM
 
Location: Early America
3,100 posts, read 2,046,940 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Quizillla View Post
I think Arizona is beautiful in it's own way, I just don't think it's the beauty and comfort I'm used to from home. I'm used to green and ocean and I do think the desert is beautiful, I just miss home. I know a big part of it is missing my family. I definitely should have done more research before I moved here, it was just an irrational decision which I'm regretting at the moment.

You like what you like and you shouldn't have to apologize for it. I like greenery and water too.

I can survive in the desert but I don't thrive there. We brought in green plants, art and photo landscapes we prefer, and added a large saltwater aquarium, stocked it with live rock and tropical fish. Try something like this. Bring a little, or a lot, of back home into your current home.

I hope you stick with it in AZ. It's only 2 years. Don't make another irrational decision you will regret.
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Old 02-16-2016, 02:44 PM
 
9,576 posts, read 7,282,845 times
Reputation: 14003
Quote:
Originally Posted by new2colo View Post
Leave. You're not stuck anywhere. There are so many people in Arizona who move here and complain incessantly about things that they cannot change. The desert was brown before you got here and will be brown after you leave. There was no ocean before you got here and there will be no ocean after you leave. If you can't learn to accept and embrace where you are, living anywhere besides "home" will be hell. Arizona is not California.
Once California breaks off and falls into the Pacific, then Arizona will have some ocean front property!
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