You think that... (woman, mom, thoughts, adult)

[L8Gr8Apost8]

What it it called when people attempt to tell you your own opinion or viewpoint? Sometimes I hear people do it when someone isn't there like with the statement "he thinks he is better than everyone else." Lately I have been told what I believe when I am right there to explain it. Is there a term for this? Links?

[thaifood]

I call it arrogant and pompous. Assert yourself and say "Don't put words in my mouth. Here is what I think".

[Tracysherm]

I think in some cases the person is projecting their own feelings or reactions or thoughts onto you.


For example, when I was a kid I always got really good grades. I didn't think I was special because of this, and I put a lot of pressure on myself. But when my mom would get mad at me for something, she'd say things like "you think the whole world revolves around you just because you get all As" or "You're going to get too big for your britches just because you get good grades" or "you just think you're so special..." Well, I never did think that way. I actually had a pretty low self-esteem. But I couldn't speak up and say that, or I'd be "talking back." It wasn't until later in adulthood that I learned that she was just projecting onto me, partly her own insecurities with not having gotten the kinds of grades I earned, and partly because I think her own mother talked about people who got good grades as being conceited and full of themselves, because she (my grandmother) never did well in school.




So it a person who is not particularly pompous tries to "assign" thoughts and motives to you, they may not even be aware of it, and they may be projecting.


It's the people who are arrogant and pompous who do this kind of thing on purpose.

[Tracysherm]

I thought of another possible reason people might do this. Sometimes people, in ignorance, assign a lot of thoughts, opinions and motives to someone simply because the other person belongs to a particular group. So to me, this version of the issue is related to prejudice.


Deciding that just because someone is black, that they must distrust the police.
Deciding that just because someone is a Christian that they are being judgmental.
Deciding that just because someone is a woman that they must hold a particular political opinion.
Someone deciding that just because you share some trait with person X, that you will defend and "stick up for' person X, even when person X is very wrong.


I actually recently had someone tell me they were shocked that I was supportive of gay people and have no "problem" with anyone being gay. Why? because he knew I was politically conservative. He (an educated person) actually thought that anyone who is conservative "hates gays." When I explained that no, the essence of my conservatism is that I want smaller government, more freedom for individuals, more adherence to the Constitution, and less government intrusion into our lives, he was actually (surprisingly) shocked. I actually think this was an eye-opening event for him. He might actually be a little more open-minded from now on. But this kind of prejudice really just came out of ignorance, not malice.