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Old 03-02-2016, 09:27 AM
 
112 posts, read 103,126 times
Reputation: 178

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So My friend has been talking with this man, and they really hit it off...
they met through other friends online, but clicked and talk daily and plan to meet in person.
Normally, she is against any type of online encounter but since he is a good actual friend of her friends and they really hit it off, she got in emotionally...
They havent met but- they act as if they are dating in some ways.
He has sent her gifts, they talk about a possible future, they discuss life...
Well the other day she was telling him about men who ask her out
and how she turns them down because she feels invested in him.
She even shared an inbox message with him from a guy who wanted to date her...
to make the story short, her "man" got very mad and was like
"why would you even share that with me?"
she didnt understand since she was just sharing life...
DO you think he was too much? and why the reaction?
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Old 03-02-2016, 12:15 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,754,614 times
Reputation: 98359
Well ... his reaction was typical of jealousy.

It reveals some insecurity, which is good to know about when you are investing emotionally in someone.

They don't know each other, despite the "conversations." So she may have assumed that he was comfortable with her sharing the message, even though he obviously was NOT.

He may have thought she was doing it will ill intentions, trying to make him jealous or protective. Since they don't actually know each other it was a risky move on her part.

She made an advanced-level move in what is really a very basic-level relationship.
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Old 03-02-2016, 12:31 PM
 
Location: City of the Angels
2,222 posts, read 2,336,730 times
Reputation: 5422
Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot and he shared an inbox message with her from a woman who wanted to date him.
She would probably think that he was an egotistical jerk.
Some things are not "me, me , me, all about me"
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Old 03-02-2016, 01:48 PM
 
182 posts, read 118,457 times
Reputation: 260
Quote:
Originally Posted by NickofDiamonds View Post
Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot and he shared an inbox message with her from a woman who wanted to date him.
She would probably think that he was an egotistical jerk.
Some things are not "me, me , me, all about me"
I tend to agree with this poster.

I'm not sure what exactly she expected to accomplish by sharing that with the guy. I would have been put off by it too. That seems very vain of her to me, "hey look at me, I have all this attention, but i'm talking to you"

What?
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Old 03-02-2016, 02:17 PM
 
112 posts, read 103,126 times
Reputation: 178
Thanks for the opinions. I have known my friend for over 30 years and she is not vain at all...
But she is the type to be very open and likes to share...I didnt know how to respond to her story,
but I think I will advise her to just slow down her roll with what she shares at least for now..
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Old 03-03-2016, 12:01 PM
 
50,470 posts, read 36,126,975 times
Reputation: 76351
Quote:
Originally Posted by MerciChoi View Post
So My friend has been talking with this man, and they really hit it off...
they met through other friends online, but clicked and talk daily and plan to meet in person.
Normally, she is against any type of online encounter but since he is a good actual friend of her friends and they really hit it off, she got in emotionally...
They havent met but- they act as if they are dating in some ways.
He has sent her gifts, they talk about a possible future, they discuss life...
Well the other day she was telling him about men who ask her out
and how she turns them down because she feels invested in him.
She even shared an inbox message with him from a guy who wanted to date her...
to make the story short, her "man" got very mad and was like
"why would you even share that with me?"
she didnt understand since she was just sharing life...
DO you think he was too much? and why the reaction?
I don't think it's jealousy. I might react like that if I felt manipulated...IMO telling him about that guy could very well come off as her attempting to get him to "lock her down", i.e. "I am soooo in demand, men ask me out all the time but I'm waiting for YOU to commit to me". I would not want to commit to someone because she was telling me how all these other guys want her. She may not have intended to be manipulative, but I could see how it could come off that way.
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Old 03-05-2016, 10:59 AM
 
6,806 posts, read 4,891,306 times
Reputation: 8594
Quote:
Originally Posted by MerciChoi View Post
So My friend has been talking with this man, and they really hit it off...
they met through other friends online, but clicked and talk daily and plan to meet in person.
Normally, she is against any type of online encounter but since he is a good actual friend of her friends and they really hit it off, she got in emotionally...
They havent met but- they act as if they are dating in some ways.
He has sent her gifts, they talk about a possible future, they discuss life...
Well the other day she was telling him about men who ask her out
and how she turns them down because she feels invested in him.
She even shared an inbox message with him from a guy who wanted to date her...
to make the story short, her "man" got very mad and was like
"why would you even share that with me?"
she didnt understand since she was just sharing life...
DO you think he was too much? and why the reaction?
She has two basic personality flaws:

1- She is an over-sharer.

2- She gets invested in guys she barely knows yet.
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Old 03-05-2016, 05:20 PM
 
298 posts, read 269,982 times
Reputation: 780
Guys don't want to hear about ex-boyfriends, ex husbands or other men trying to date the woman. It's a little bit smug. Comes off like "I'm hot stuff and men really dig me." That may be true, but why brag like that? Is she trying to find out how you really feel about her? So if you "sound jealous" you're supposed to be into her in that way? Not.Women also don't like to hear about other women chasing after boyfriend or even a good male friend. It sounds smug, it sounds like bragging. And then what are you really supposed to say? It's uncomfortable. It's oversharing, I agree. I resent people who brag a lot. It's insecurity or conceit. Either way it's a waste of your time to be listening to that nonsense.
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Old 03-06-2016, 05:22 AM
 
964 posts, read 990,849 times
Reputation: 1280
Quote:
Originally Posted by NickofDiamonds View Post
Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot and he shared an inbox message with her from a woman who wanted to date him.
She would probably think that he was an egotistical jerk.
Some things are not "me, me , me, all about me"
I see it from a bigger-picture perspective. She was telling him that she feels that in some way they're a couple, so she's decided to be exclusive with him. In a way, it's a compliment. She went too far, by reading a message from another guy. That was unnecessary, and I don't know what the point could have been. But she was being open with him, and was communicating that she wasn't seeing anyone else, because she was into him.

I think he's the one who reacted in a "me, me, me" way. But it's strange that she feels invested enough in him that she's not seeing anyone else. He's still a stranger to her. And if that's how she feels, why does she keep her OLD account active at all? Why hasn't she closed it?
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Old 03-06-2016, 06:27 AM
 
12,016 posts, read 12,695,396 times
Reputation: 13420
Quote:
Originally Posted by MerciChoi View Post
So My friend has been talking with this man, and they really hit it off...
they met through other friends online, but clicked and talk daily and plan to meet in person.
Normally, she is against any type of online encounter but since he is a good actual friend of her friends and they really hit it off, she got in emotionally...
They havent met but- they act as if they are dating in some ways.
He has sent her gifts, they talk about a possible future, they discuss life...
Well the other day she was telling him about men who ask her out
and how she turns them down because she feels invested in him.
She even shared an inbox message with him from a guy who wanted to date her...
to make the story short, her "man" got very mad and was like
"why would you even share that with me?"
she didnt understand since she was just sharing life...
DO you think he was too much? and why the reaction?
He's very jealous and immature, so he's telling her what not to say to him which is better than telling her not to do it.

Don't tell people what they don't want to know.
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