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Our first move to another state dictated that we only had so much room in the moving pods, so it went without saying that we had to purge a lot of our possessions. My wife and I had 26 years worth, and had accumulated so much more after my Mother, and Father had passed. But after selling, and donating quiet a lot, we got it to a manageable amount.
Then, with our second move, we purged some more, and now, here in this house, with limited storage space, we are faced with the realization that we did the right thing getting rid of all we did. It was hard when the sentimentality got in the way, but we kept a few things to remind us of those that went before. After all, as someone said here, after we leave this world most likely the things we find precious will mean little to anyone, and they will become knick-knacks for someone else.
It sort of depends on whether you are a 'visual' person, an 'experience' person, a music-lover, a crafter, and so forth. If you are visual, you need to feel free to buy a piece of art, something that you think is either fascinating or beautiful. If you are an adventurer, buy something from a trip you take that will forever remind you of that area. Music-lover? Buy a music system and 'collect' a list of music you love. Crafter? Buy some wood-working tools or a pen and ink set so you can sketch. Etc., etc. In other words, if you want to have a fuller life by owning some 'stuff', make it stuff that is particularly meaningful to you. And if you don't care about 'stuff', then don't worry that you have not amassed any, it's just not your style.
Does anyone else feel this way and if so, how do you get over it? Kinda been in a rut over this lately, along with some other personal things.
Not really. I tend to be a minimalist, live simply, and value self-sufficiency, but not to the point where it makes my life more difficult if that makes any sense. I also value experience over things, but that's not all that uncommon for my age group. If I'm lucky I'll be able to go car free again. Up until I moved to the south some of my most prized possessions were the personalities of those I had met and collected.
I don't even take photos on vacation anymore as I'd rather be in the experience, not deciding if something will make a good shot. Come to think of it I don't really keep too many photos of family anymore either. But my memory is pretty good so maybe that's why.
My sentimental feelings tend to be tied to places rather than things as well. I really don't get any sort of thrill from collecting or having things, unless those things are ideas and new perspectives.
Time is my most valuable possession and I try not to trade it for things that give no/little value in return. When it comes to material possessions, at least for me, I find the trade-off a poor one.
As far as that goes I tend to convert money into time units as money isn't particularly important to me either beyond a self-sufficiency standpoint. Certainly helps with those quality of life choices I make.
Although from a nesting point of view a house populated with things can make it a home (although more often it's other people) it's just for me it matters little what these things are.
Most things I've owned for a long time is more a testament to their durability than anything else.
Sounds like you assign meaning to possessions and the lack of said possessions speaks more to your past experiences. Not to mention some sort of connection with your own mortality.
How to get over it?
Go to the dollar store and blow a few hundred dollars!
Just kidding.
Maybe try talking your siblings and/or old friends into giving you items that you have a shared history with?
After years of acquisition of things that I "really wanted", I found that at retirement I was basically selling, giving away, donating, or throwing out most of those things, often for pennies on the dollar. Getting rid of all that burden felt like giving myself the freedom to move, to be flexible, to literally lighten my load. Possessions become something that you have to find a place to house, and then you drag them around behind you like an anchor for the rest of your life. I think that I will be more of a minimalist than an accumulator for the rest of my life. I now prefer doing things to having things.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose...or in my case nothing left to store.
It's nice to have a few things that are sentimental from the past. I have my high school ring and some trinkets from my youth. Those are important to me. Everyone is different in what has value and memory.
A couple of acquaintances of mine are hoarders; they cannot get rid of anything. It is more a mental affliction than bad habit.
Maybe think of your life in terms of how you've lived and what you've seen, and let those be your "trinkets" in life. You could also write down your memories, and they would be tangible to you.
I've collected some small things through the years, however, I do not like clutter. The few decent things I have are nice, but they don't rule my world to have them, such as old lamps and stained glass.
Concentrate on EXPERIENCES, not THINGS. So a meal with family or friends, a fun outing, a trip. Things don't count for much. Sure you need a few things to live comfortably, but beyond that it's mostly a waste and won't give you true satisfaction or happiness.
I was standing in the garage last night after going through some possessions I had never unboxed from my last move, and I realize I truly have nothing to show for all my years of hard work, possession wise. I am not counting vehicles and toys, nor money in the bank, I am talking about actual material possessions such as household goods etc.
After two divorces and all the fun that goes with losing two homes and furniture, etc, I really have nothing that I have acquired over the long run, like most people do. I have managed to hang onto very little from my past 35 years on the planet. It makes me kind of sad.
Now I know material possessions are supposedly not supposed to mean anything according to some people, but it would be nice to be able to walk into a house and be able to actually see things I have owned for years sitting there.
Does anyone else feel this way and if so, how do you get over it? Kinda been in a rut over this lately, along with some other personal things.
Can you make a short list of things that would have value for you? Is it fine furniture? Decor? Beautiful linens for your home? Books? A garden? As many others have said, less is definitely more. You cannot take those things with you. However, I relate very much to your desire to feel a sort of reflection of yourself in your surroundings in a way that feels grounded.
So I'd say, make a list of some things that would make you feel better and then, go get them. Make it a project to fill your home with meaningful things that you do not intend to sell or give away while you're here.
The ultimate reality is that life is change, but there's nothing wrong with having your 'stuff' to make you feel your roots are well established, either, as long as you don't go overboard...
Have fun with this and make it a new chapter in your life. Let go of the past and make meaningful your new normal. Good luck!
Unless you want 20 years from now to feel the same as now, start buying a few things that really appeal to you and keep them. They'll develop their own kind of quality and value to you as you appreciate them over time. I like space so I have very few things compared to most people I know. But of those things the items I enjoy most are the small ones that have been handed down in the family for generations. Just my preference. There are some other suggestions on this thread that sound really good. I hope you will consider them. Good luck.
Exactly, buy a few things that speak to you and keep them forever. We only have a few things but we'll keep them forever because we like them. Everything else can be donated. Simplify.
Having been through similar upheaval, OP, I had a thought. I hope you don't mind, but I made a few edits that made your post resonate more deeply with me.
I have been having persistent dreams lately about people I've loved and lost.
People in my life is not the problem. My family is all gone except a daughter, and i have a lot of friends. My issue is, i have no possessions from the first 50 years of my life, except for a tool collection that would make any man drool. Others have things from mom and dad, grandma etc. Oh look at the "insert item here" that was dads or moms. I have none of that. No big deal i guess, i just have my moments.
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