Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Throughout my whole life i've always struggled with people in my circle who often enough take more than they give, These are the same people who borrow something and always seem to "forget" to ever return it or the same people you seem to always be there for but when you need them; they're just never around or can't help.
I've always wondered what the psychology behind this is? Are these people aware of their selfish acts or is it in their genes, are they conscious of these decisions/actions they make? or are they just careless creatures?
They get away w/ that behavior. Positive reinforcement, learned behavior. Why should they do for themselves if they don't have to? That's the way they think. If they are cut off, they have to do for themselves.
I assume you are not keeping close score of favors you grant? You don't feel that your friends owe you after you have done a good turn for them? If not, then I have to say users have gotten away with that behavior in the past, so they continue it.
It probably started in their families; it probably continued in school. Perhaps they had enough clout to get away with using people. But these people are found out eventually, and they blow through friends. I wouldn't want to be in their shoes in old age.
Many people are not in tune with the general oneness of things, and so cling to others for their sense of reality, using emotional behaviors to adjust for feelings of difference between them and others.
You sound like a white male. White men overall have more control in society, and rely on women and other slaves for emotional compensations that they take for granted.
Throughout my whole life i've always struggled with people in my circle who often enough take more than they give, These are the same people who borrow something and always seem to "forget" to ever return it or the same people you seem to always be there for but when you need them; they're just never around or can't help.
I've always wondered what the psychology behind this is? Are these people aware of their selfish acts or is it in their genes, are they conscious of these decisions/actions they make? or are they just careless creatures?
/discuss
They see givers as weaklings, aka prey, aka dinner. Why would anyone be dumb enough to give more than they receive, short-term gain and hell with the long term?
Weaklings are to be eaten for the good of the herd, then.
Fortunately, there is a survival instinct that is tribal-level, too. We can think tribal level, but not far beyond, in terms of giving. Such is our nature.
Throughout my whole life i've always struggled with people in my circle who often enough take more than they give, These are the same people who borrow something and always seem to "forget" to ever return it or the same people you seem to always be there for but when you need them; they're just never around or can't help.
I've always wondered what the psychology behind this is? Are these people aware of their selfish acts or is it in their genes, are they conscious of these decisions/actions they make? or are they just careless creatures?
/discuss
The world seems to be divided between grifters and patsies. Stay away from the former and try not to be the latter.
Those who are aware of themselves, their actions, and what other people do sometimes realize on their own that they should shape up.
But those who don't shape up on their own feel fine about taking you for granted. Like someone else said, they keep doing it because they can get away with it. If you made subtle hints or are brave enough to be point blank, "Well, I'm not going to let you borrow another book again because you didn't return the last one," or "I'm not going to help you move your heavy sofa because you never show your appreciation" MAYBE they'll get it and stop taking you for granted.
Many people are not in tune with the general oneness of things, and so cling to others for their sense of reality, using emotional behaviors to adjust for feelings of difference between them and others.
You sound like a white male. White men overall have more control in society, and rely on women and other slaves for emotional compensations that they take for granted.
Yet white women use men as emotional and financial armor and monopolize affirmative action and other policies meant for the truly disadvantaged...
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
