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I was a heavy drinker for many years. I started drinking around 17 and only stopped when pregnant, and for two years, when I did something really crazy and dumb and decided I needed to stop. But because I'm prone to addiction, I started up again. I got a DUI in 1989 and 2009. I drank alone every single night, and it was a bottle of wine, plus rum, plus beer. I drank at bars and got into debauchery.
It sounds to me like you're in one of the many stages we addicts go through, where you want to see if you can stop for a short time, but you're only saying that so that you can eventually go back to it.
BTW, I can't stand AA. I don't believe in the disease theory. I strongly believe in Rational Recovery. I got drunk because it was fun. I enjoyed getting drunk. It felt good. Really good. But then the blackouts. And the debauchery. And the pounds.
Now, I was blessed enough to have struggled through it with God on my side, and once I fully surrendered to Him and realized what I was doing was wrong in so many different ways, He removed my desire for it. To those who say, "balderdash, you did it." You can believe what you want. I'm the weakest, laziest, wimpiest, most undisciplined person you'll ever meet, and I quit a 30-year addiction overnight. I have been sober for 20 months. I don't miss it. I'm so glad I stopped. I'm down 25 lbs. I don't have to worry about getting pregnant at every turn and STDs, and blacking out, and showing a bad example to my children. I am so grateful for all of that.
I also attend Celebrate Recovery, which is basically AA with Jesus. But I like it because it's based on Bible verses and the beatitudes. It doesn't talk about "it's not your fault, you have a disease, you must attend a meeting every hour of every day for this many days." It says, surrender to Jesus and admit you can't handle it all on your own and He will walk beside you. Meetings are once a week.
I'm not trying to throw Jesus in your face if you don't want it, just telling my story.
Over the past few years, I've developed somewhat of a bad habit of drinking alone. Usually it's while listening to a jazz album or playing a video game. It's an enjoyable experience for me. Personally, I don't find drinking alone in and of itself to be as bad as its stigmatized to be. However, lately I have found that the amount I am drinking is increasing. What was once 2-3 nights per week and maybe 3 drinks has become 4 nights per week with 5-6 drinks. I am finishing up a bottle of wine tonight and my plan next is to quit drinking alone for two months. If I am at a social event that involves alcohol, I will drink in that case but I won't buy any or keep any in my apartment. I want this to be a test to see whether or not I just like to drink or I actually have a problem with alcohol. People who are truly alcoholics generally cannot keep this kind of commitment, so for me, this will be a test.
Can anybody else relate to this and does it sound like a good idea?
I drank heavily, smoked weed, and popped pills for a few years at least 5 days a week until one day I said screw it and quit...it takes a lot of willpower, but it isn't impossible. Drinking and taking drugs to an excess is usually a coping mechanism. Just find a healthy alternative.
My reluctance to give up drinking comes from the fact that it's an important part of my social life. Why? I live in a town where there just isn't much else to do. I don't want to be that person that isn't drinking when everybody else is. That is why my current game plan is to give up drinking alone for a while yet continue to drink in social situations.
sorry that is another addicted mind talking. plenty of people don't drink when they go to bars. just like giving up smoking there is a social element when all your pas smoke that you "imagine" will be gone when you quit.
"I spent 90% of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted."
- George Best, Irish footballer
"Get drunk and be somebody!" You know because day-to-day living can make most people numb and invisible.
Good luck. I love to drink a good tequila, when I can afford it in these Republican economically depressed times.
Enjoy and celebrate life whenever and where ever you can. In moderation of course.
sorry that is another addicted mind talking. plenty of people don't drink when they go to bars. just like giving up smoking there is a social element when all your pas smoke that you "imagine" will be gone when you quit.
One big difference between smoking and drinking is that cigarettes generally aren't as big of a part of social interaction as alcohol is nor do they have the intoxicating effect.
A lot of AA dogma is based on outdated prohibition-era research. There is a difference in the brain chemistry of habitual drinkers vs truly addicted drinkers. Addicted drinkers have no choice but abstinence for life, while habitual drinkers can moderate. Addicted drinkers keep drinking even though they know its causing them problems, including withdrawal symptoms like severe hangovers and the shakes. I plan on drinking with friends on Friday night. If I can avoid the liquor store in Saturday without a lot of effort, I think that will be a good sign that I fall into the latter category.
My biggest issue when drinking alone is its so easy to pour that extra glass of wine or beer beyond what I would prefer to drink.
I drank heavily, smoked weed, and popped pills for a few years at least 5 days a week until one day I said screw it and quit...it takes a lot of willpower, but it isn't impossible. Drinking and taking drugs to an excess is usually a coping mechanism. Just find a healthy alternative.
Do you successfully drink moderately today or are you a teetotaler?
One big difference between smoking and drinking is that cigarettes generally aren't as big of a part of social interaction as alcohol is nor do they have the intoxicating effect.
A lot of AA dogma is based on outdated prohibition-era research. There is a difference in the brain chemistry of habitual drinkers vs truly addicted drinkers. Addicted drinkers have no choice but abstinence for life, while habitual drinkers can moderate. Addicted drinkers keep drinking even though they know its causing them problems, including withdrawal symptoms like severe hangovers and the shakes. I plan on drinking with friends on Friday night. If I can avoid the liquor store in Saturday without a lot of effort, I think that will be a good sign that I fall into the latter category.
My biggest issue when drinking alone is its so easy to pour that extra glass of wine or beer beyond what I would prefer to drink.
cigs are highly sociable. you use them when you talk on the phone, have drinks, after dinner, work break, after sex, and on and on. addiction is addiction the method may be different but the mind set is almost the same. I think if you do some research into how an addicted mind works you may be surprised.
I can agree AA might not be the best thing for everyone and an all or nothing approach isn't what is best for someone that isn't so hard core. however the difference between habitual and truly addicted is quite small.
do not fool yourself not all drinkers have withdrawal, they jus keep drinking. many habitual drinkers, have a bit of the hair of the dog the next day and still continue to drink. you seem to have an all or nothing idea about being an alcoholic, you can be a light weight drinker and still have a problem. you don't have to be at the far end of the scale to qualify.
your test will come when you figure out how difficult this test will be for you and how honest with yourself you are. best of luck, no one likes to give up something they "think" they enjoy.
If you truly believe that, you are deceiving yourself.
All you are doing is changing location....
10 years ago, I realized my "glass of wine" in the evening had turned into a bottle per night, 7 days per week, 365 a year. So I cut back, stopped buying it for home, or bought beer (I just won't drink more than 2 or 3 beers). I still drink socially, but I'm talking one drink with dinner at a restaurant, 2-3 at a social gathering. One factor was that I work out, eat healthy, and have always been fit. The alcohol started to give me a "gut", and I'm just too vain for that. It also began to give me hangovers. Now, I couldn't drink an entire bottle of wine if I wanted to (I'd fall asleep half way through) since my tolerance is much lower now. But some people can just cut back. I don't even think about wine in the evening anymore.
Indeed, some (even many) people can.
But the OP does not seem to be one of them....
So far, I have not tried to cut out alone drinking period.
I have started drinking with the intension of drinking two beers but ended up drinking three. I have bought a bottle of wine, intending to drink three glasses but ended up drinking four. I have tried to limit my alone drinking to one night per week, but if there is alcohol my apartment I end up drinking, especially if its wine since it will spoil if I save a half-drunk bottle until the next weekend. The worst thing I've done is after a night of social drinking, come home and find I have just enough wine left for a glass so I pour it. This is a red flag to me. Cutting out drinking alone will eliminate this and I should be able to reduce my consumption to 5-7 drinks per week. If I cannot do that, then I will have to consider abstinence.
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