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I might be. I haven't ever noticed anyone speaking or posting that way so it would seem normal to me. Maybe it's like that old joke about the slutty friend. Everyone has one and if you don't know who it is you're it. I do have a slutty friend so I'm off the hook on that one.
Are you an explainer? I gladly explain something if asked, but I notice some people go into a thread and explain a post made by someone else. My brother is an explainer. If he and I are talking and I bring up a subject, he will begin explaining it to me. So far, he has never explained anything to me that I didn't already know. Maybe sometime it will happen. There is at least one woman in C-D who often explains posts made by someone else. She also explains rhetorical questions and perhaps doesn't realize that's what they are. There are others.
btw, I have a friend named Donnie and his father is Donnie. I expect them to stay "Donnie" until death
He can never be anything but Donnie. Weird sometimes how that works.
Anyhoo, explaining. Ya. I am an overexplainer on my own stuff. It is a habit, not a good one. My mother does it to death so I think I picked that up from her. I don't think ppl are stupid so I don't understand the compulsion.
Explaining other posts don't bother me here at C-D but I don't like the ones who answer unnecessarily. Such as "Anyone here have young kids that do sleepovers ? " Multiple posts of: "No. I don't have kids."
Why did you answer? I guess a question was asked but posting like that? I don't get it.
I know what OP is talking about. My wife is that way. Many people who are explainers seem to feel the overwhelming urge to do that most often when they want to say "No" to something, such as when they get invited to boring gatherings they have zero interest in, or they receive a requests for a favor from a friend that they don't want to do. Our neighbor friends often invite us to come over and do something, but they always ask us over at the last minute so we have no time to prepare to visit. We're tired, cranky, working, away from home, etc. . . My wife always feels the urge to go into long winded explanations of why we can't come, instead of just telling her, "Thanks for the invite, but it's not a good time right now." Explaining too much is a way of being polite but I think it sometimes backfires on them and they end up saying yes to whatever task or favor when they really want to say no.
I guess I'm confused about what's being referred to as "explaining."
Some are using it as informing others in a detailed manner, some are using it within the context of interpreting others' words for other parties.
I'm pretty much an explainer. I'm a former teacher, and it goes with the job. I'm also in favor of receiving more detail/information versus less. If it's too much information, I can easily pick out what I need, whereas if I have too little information, I don't have a complete picture. So I don't have a problem with detailed explanations being made.
There's also an art to reading your audience and knowing when a person requires more information, and when they're fine with what they know already.
Online, this is a different story, because you can't possibly tailor your communication style to every possible individual who might read a post on a forum...some may need more of an explanation, some may not, and those who don't can easily skip through what's extraneous/doesn't apply to them/unnecessary for their understanding. In an in-person, individual interaction, an observant person can more easily read who they're talking to.
I'm definitely an explainer now. I became one because I used to be very succinct but realized I don't think the same way most people do so I am rarely "on the same page" as others, so I need to provide excessive detail/background so they understand my point. Similarly, I used to not comment much on things I thought were common sense / obvious but was encouraged by many to do so because apparently it's not as obvious to others and I often have a unique viewpoint. I guess I Have difficulty determining where the line is between obvious / commonly understood and not.
I know what OP is talking about. My wife is that way. Many people who are explainers seem to feel the overwhelming urge to do that most often when they want to say "No" to something, such as when they get invited to boring gatherings they have zero interest in, or they receive a requests for a favor from a friend that they don't want to do. Our neighbor friends often invite us to come over and do something, but they always ask us over at the last minute so we have no time to prepare to visit. We're tired, cranky, working, away from home, etc. . . My wife always feels the urge to go into long winded explanations of why we can't come, instead of just telling her, "Thanks for the invite, but it's not a good time right now." Explaining too much is a way of being polite but I think it sometimes backfires on them and they end up saying yes to whatever task or favor when they really want to say no.
Do it all the time... and its not the right way round situations.. being too nice can go disastrously against us...
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