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My Girlfriend has Bi-polar that she has had for years like back when she was 26 years old. She now 65 years old. Her own family has disowned her because of her Bi-polar. She lost her husband after 43 years of marriage and just went down hill with this medical problem. Been in many mental hospitals after her husband died. I think the world of her and trying to help her but having a hard time trying. She will not take her medicine. She hears voices and see things that are not there. Tried too kill herself four times. I wonder if there is any self help treatment out there?
Thanks.
You cannot help someone who does not want help as unfortunate as that is. Honestly, it is usually best to move on in your life without guilt and leave them to hopefully decide to start taking proper care of themselves.
However, your story sounds quite different as the OPs gf.
Well all OP told us about his gf was that her family has ostracized her and she lost her husband of 43 years, and she spiralled downward from there. OP didn't mention if her BP was due to any poor life decisions she may have made. Based on the fact that she was married 43 years, she sounds like a fundamentally stable person, capable of making wise, solid choices & sticking with them. BP could be a biological factor triggered by trauma & abuse though no fault of one's own, as was in my case. My BP surfaced as a result of growing up in a toxic family, so naturally they were never capable of being any support system. Perhaps this is also the case for OP's gf.
Just for fun, let's give OP's gf the benefit of the doubt and assume she's fundamentally a good person.
Facts:
1) BP clinically gets worse with age.
2) Stable relationships with stable people in stable environments are essential to BP wellness.
As OP's GF has aged & simultaneously lost environmental stability, that's a recipe for a downward spiral.
If OP truly cares for her a great deal, he can help foster that stability for her, and bring out the best that he sees in her.
John1960, here are non-medication things that neutralize my bipolar disorder. Consider offering these options to your friend:
Intense physical exercise every day
Sunshine
Fresh air
Extreme healthy nutrition +dark chocolate
Yoga
Love from a supportive, trustworthy person
Hanging upside down (for example on monkey bars, or being upside down in yoga, or an aerial yoga class (benefits are akin to this autism swing), or even just laying on the bed with upper body hanging down off the side)
Avoiding stress
Avoiding alcohol & drugs & cigarettes
Get plenty of sleep
Doing positive things, thinking positive things, saying positive things
How I started dating this woman is I have family of mine that wanted me too take her out on walks and go places because she is very lonely. I found more about her from her church pastor and her sister. Church pastor has know her and her died husband for last 20 years. I'm just trying too help. I always liked too try to help people.
This woman at one time lived on the street and now lives in a appartment. She did take many different pills for her condition in past and some worked and others didn't her Sister has told me. Sister said she doesn't have a violent past.
This woman went too Church with her husband for years and was a good wife and mother before her husband died and she has two children and grand-children. Her children will not let her see her grand-children. And this is really messing up her mind big time.
How I started dating this woman is I have family of mine that wanted me too take her out on walks and go places because she is very lonely. I found more about her from her church pastor and her sister. Church pastor has know her and her died husband for last 20 years. I'm just trying too help. I always liked too try to help people.
This woman at one time lived on the street and now lives in a appartment. She did take many different pills for her condition in past and some worked and other didn't her Sister has told me. Sister said she doesn't have a violent past.
This woman went too Church with her husband for years and was a good wife and mother before her husband died and she has two children and grand-children. Her children will not let her see her grand-children. And this is really messing up her mind big time.
See, it's a more innocuous situation than other commenters are assuming.
John1960, here's a helpful graphic that I've found tried-and-true for the past few years:
We went to another city today for a break and see if her condition can get better some. City we live in she has been too every mental hospital in the past 13 years. Her children and grand-children live in a big city 130 miles away from her.
My Girlfriend has Bi-polar that she has had for years like back when she was 26 years old. She now 65 years old. Her own family has disowned her because of her Bi-polar. She lost her husband after 43 years of marriage and just went down hill with this medical problem. Been in many mental hospitals after her husband died. I think the world of her and trying to help her but having a hard time trying. She will not take her medicine. She hears voices and see things that are not there. Tried too kill herself four times. I wonder if there is any self help treatment out there?
Thanks.
This, is why I don't cut any slack with people who have these disorders. Bipolars and schizophrenics know they have a problem, and they know what they have to do to help themselves and those around them. So if they choose not to assume this responsibility then I have no sympathy.
It does not help that I work with a bipolar person who is not on meds, and all day long today at work she had one of her episodes, mad at me about something, but I've no idea why. So she'll sulk for days until she gets over it like it never happened, and the rest of us are up to our ears with her behavior.
And then I have a bipolar niece who has violent episodes and she went on meds to control it and is having success. But she and her family knows that she has to stick to her regime, that she is very volatile if she slips.
OP, you can hang in there and try to encourage her to help herself, but please be aware that you will burn a LOT of energy during that journey - it can be very exhausting - and rewards are not a promise.
Is there nobody else out there in whom you are interested in? Does it have to be a crazy person? You are in for more than you think.
Eve I love you dearly, but I must heavily object to the term 'crazy person '.
OP,. depression nearly destroyed my marriage. I would suggest that you think hard and long about this and decide if you are strong enough to handle it. Not everyone is capable. There's no shame in that.
People wonder why mental illness is not reported . With such compassion shown on this thread I have no idea . /sarcasm
There are some really awful side effects of medications, though. We have a relative with a thought disorder who says that the meds are worse than the actual disorder itself.
Maybe to him (her?) but I have to wonder if the people in close proximity to that person would say the same.
I speak from the perspective of one of those people in close proximity to two types of mentally ill people - a mother who has steadfastly refused treatment for her bipolar/paranoid/delusional mental illness all her life, and a brother who experienced several psychotic breaks and involuntary commitments before finally choosing to adhere to a treatment program (which includes psychotropic drugs as well as therapy). My mother has wreaked havoc on the lives around her and continues to do so. My brother did as well - until finding a good combo of prescription drugs as well as therapy. He is now a staunch supporter and crusader for professional treatment and compliance with that treatment for mental illness - as well as a proponent of the mentally ill taking responsibility for their treatment and their decisions and the ramifications of those decisions on their lives and the lives of others.
He would be the first to tell you that THERE IS A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MENTAL ILLNESS AND "CRAZY BEHAVIOR." It is entirely possible to be mentally ill and not "act crazy."
Last edited by KathrynAragon; 04-26-2016 at 07:00 AM..
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