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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hakkarin
When somebody seriously disrespects you, how often if ever are you willing to break social norms to defend your honor? What I mean by that, is that I am talking about doing things that normally aren't considered socially acceptable in order to "get back" at the person who disrespected you.
Very often. I got called the n word (I'm a black male) by a white male who had gotten into an altercation with some of my friends, an altercation so bad the cops got called. After he called me that, I told him what he could do with his n word, right in front of the cops, the cops didn't do a thing about it. Just sent everyone home.
When somebody seriously disrespects you, how often if ever are you willing to break social norms to defend your honor? What I mean by that, is that I am talking about doing things that normally aren't considered socially acceptable in order to "get back" at the person who disrespected you.
hakkarin, don't take this the wrong way but if you feel you have been "seriously disrespected" it reflects a low self esteem. You need to have a better opinion of yourself. It is your low self confidence that will limit your growth more than anyone else opinion of you. Work on that. People with high self esteem don't care what others think of them to that degree. As an example, do you really care what someone you don't care for thinks about you?
I see sheep all the time who turn the other cheek, and all that gets them is two cheeks that have been hit. People don't really expect others to call them out on things, and when you do, it takes them aback.
Nope, if you don't stand up for yourself, no one will.
Don
Oh, Don, if you're gonna misinterpret Jesus's teachings, why not include the passages where he instructed Peter to take up a sword??
"Turn the other cheek" doesn't mean "be a doormat." Besides, Jesus was the master of calling people out.
When somebody seriously disrespects you, how often if ever are you willing to break social norms to defend your honor? What I mean by that, is that I am talking about doing things that normally aren't considered socially acceptable in order to "get back" at the person who disrespected you.
I cannot imagine how defending my honor would be served by violating society's norms. Seems to me, doing that would be considered dishonorable by everyone else. Two wrongs don't make a right.
Oh, Don, if you're gonna misinterpret Jesus's teachings, why not include the passages where he instructed Peter to take up a sword??
"Turn the other cheek" doesn't mean "be a doormat." Besides, Jesus was the master of calling people out.
I found turning the other cheek and God to be quite useful lately. I had an engagement where I needed to work with 5 managers to get their items completed. One was completely brash, missed meetings and was wholly unproductive in the meetings he was in. In a consultant vs manager role, if two don't get along, the consultant always needs to go. So I was very passive with him, and offering to help. After a certain point I know longer meant it, but he was trained in dodging work and I let him. In the meantime, I worked with everyone else to get their stuff done ahead of schedule. It was blatant enough that I was rather surprised that this manager didn't see the tide moving, but he didn't. I just kept going up with my most innocent wanting to help approach and he'd bat me around a bit. The project was important, but it ultimately wasn't going to be me that suffered, so I let him do his worst repeatedly.
Finally it was time, I held another meeting at his desk when the executive admin was working in the cube next to his. I asked completely benign questions that were pertinent and he went overboard in his response. Of course, this then went to the executive, and I was then asked to report on what was occurring. I noted I couldn't get anything from him as he didn't seem to understand the process. I had truly not complained to everyone and took the most holistic approach that I could.
My word earlier wouldn't have meant much, but seeing as I had everyone else on track, I got an open ear. So I took the sword. I noted that I was nearly wrapped up with everyone else's section, but I was having trouble communicating with bad manager. I asked for advice on how I could improve my correspondence that hadn't been answered or if there was a better time to set meetings the boss knew of to avoid all of the missed meetings on these dates. I reiterated how important the project was and that I didn't want to fail on my part, so I thought after wrapping up the last areas with the others, it may be best for me to step aside. I took the sword.
Of course, the executive saw through "my" failings and took the sword away. I was saying it isn't my job to judge their staff and I wasn't going to do it for them, but I also wasn't going to stay on solely to be kicked around like a pinata. They termed the manager, I extended to wrap up the project.
Doesn't always happen, but then again, organizations that keep crap in their upper ranks deserve what they defend. However, had I not been a professional, and broken down into tattling right away, at worst he'd have been slightly reprimanded.
Shoot to kill, and be polite about it.
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