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I left NJ almost two years ago for Cheyenne, Wyoming. I went to school to be a wind turbine technician and despite its progressive and blue state nature, NJ does not offer much in that line of work. I had been married two years by that point and we wanted to get out of my parents place. So we took a chance. I had been presidents list, top of my class at school. I acquired all of the training and certification I needed. I thought at the very worst, I had a local address near the multiple options I had in that WY, CO, NE area.
Of course it did not work out. The wife spent a good chunk of the time there unemployed. I could not break into the wind energy sector but had a job that paid the bills. She would act out and blame me for making her move to that "dump where there is no work and nothing to do".. We spent alot of time driving down to Fort Collins and Denver to do things. I am a pretty simple guy and dont need much, but my wife is from a bigger city in the UK and it was a bit of culture shock for her. She felt there was no place to shop, go see bands, city life stuff I had gotten over by the time I was in my early 20s growing up between NYC and Philly. We would fight and fight about living in Wyoming. She threatened more than once to go back to the UK and never did. She even begged me one night to let us move back to NJ.
We met a couple that went to the local Jr hockey games there in Cheyenne. She was from back east and he was from San Antonio. We got along well. We had a lot in common. While we had made friends there in Cheyenne other than them (esp me), these people were up our alley. The fella told us one night at a game they were moving back to San Antonio. My wife and his wife had grown really close and shared a sentiment of dislike for life in Cheyenne. So one night my wife sits me down and says " I need more, lets go down to San Antonio with them"... I fought it tooth and nail. SA is a huge city. Nothing in my field there. Not nearly as nice a place to live than the I-25 front range there. Finally after she put the leg work in to find a job. I gave in. I had to quit a band I was playing in in Ft Collins. I quit my job there in Cheyenne with a "maybe we can do something for you when you get to San Antonio". Invested the little I had saved into moving all our (her) stuff to Texas.
We arrived and she is now working a decent job. I worked for a month and was let go. I cannot find anything at the moment. The hot weather sucks. The people are for the most part, unremarkable. I had been to Texas many times. I did my schooling outside Abilene and went to SA once. For the sake of my career field I chose, pretty much any part of Texas would have been better than SA for me. From day one I was home sick... But shockingly not for Wyoming. It was for NJ. I have not been home since I left. And while a lot of her British friends and family have come to visit both in Cheyenne and now in SA, I have not seen one friend or family member since I left NJ.
I now sit here everyday and wait for our lease to be up so we can get out. We have made good friends with the other couples family that lives here in SA. I have a cousin in Houston. I told him I moved to SA and he couldn't care less. But other than that. This place quickly becoming hell for me. The wife and I have switched places. She does not get the threats and vitriol she gave me in Cheyenne. But I have let it be known I do not like or want to be here. I stated we regroup in NJ with my parents or near them till we can decide if she wants to take us back to the UK or set roots here somewhere near the east coast. Like PA or upstate NY were I could work in my field and still be close to my family in NJ and more affordable and closer flights back to the UK.
Just wondered if anyone here had something like this going on or had any advice... Sorry for the book
I left NJ almost two years ago for Cheyenne, Wyoming. I went to school to be a wind turbine technician and despite its progressive and blue state nature, NJ does not offer much in that line of work. I had been married two years by that point and we wanted to get out of my parents place. So we took a chance. I had been presidents list, top of my class at school. I acquired all of the training and certification I needed. I thought at the very worst, I had a local address near the multiple options I had in that WY, CO, NE area.
Of course it did not work out. The wife spent a good chunk of the time there unemployed. I could not break into the wind energy sector but had a job that paid the bills. She would act out and blame me for making her move to that "dump where there is no work and nothing to do".. We spent alot of time driving down to Fort Collins and Denver to do things. I am a pretty simple guy and dont need much, but my wife is from a bigger city in the UK and it was a bit of culture shock for her. She felt there was no place to shop, go see bands, city life stuff I had gotten over by the time I was in my early 20s growing up between NYC and Philly. We would fight and fight about living in Wyoming. She threatened more than once to go back to the UK and never did. She even begged me one night to let us move back to NJ.
We met a couple that went to the local Jr hockey games there in Cheyenne. She was from back east and he was from San Antonio. We got along well. We had a lot in common. While we had made friends there in Cheyenne other than them (esp me), these people were up our alley. The fella told us one night at a game they were moving back to San Antonio. My wife and his wife had grown really close and shared a sentiment of dislike for life in Cheyenne. So one night my wife sits me down and says " I need more, lets go down to San Antonio with them"... I fought it tooth and nail. SA is a huge city. Nothing in my field there. Not nearly as nice a place to live than the I-25 front range there. Finally after she put the leg work in to find a job. I gave in. I had to quit a band I was playing in in Ft Collins. I quit my job there in Cheyenne with a "maybe we can do something for you when you get to San Antonio". Invested the little I had saved into moving all our (her) stuff to Texas.
We arrived and she is now working a decent job. I worked for a month and was let go. I cannot find anything at the moment. The hot weather sucks. The people are for the most part, unremarkable. I had been to Texas many times. I did my schooling outside Abilene and went to SA once. For the sake of my career field I chose, pretty much any part of Texas would have been better than SA for me. From day one I was home sick... But shockingly not for Wyoming. It was for NJ. I have not been home since I left. And while a lot of her British friends and family have come to visit both in Cheyenne and now in SA, I have not seen one friend or family member since I left NJ.
I now sit here everyday and wait for our lease to be up so we can get out. We have made good friends with the other couples family that lives here in SA. I have a cousin in Houston. I told him I moved to SA and he couldn't care less. But other than that. This place quickly becoming hell for me. The wife and I have switched places. She does not get the threats and vitriol she gave me in Cheyenne. But I have let it be known I do not like or want to be here. I stated we regroup in NJ with my parents or near them till we can decide if she wants to take us back to the UK or set roots here somewhere near the east coast. Like PA or upstate NY were I could work in my field and still be close to my family in NJ and more affordable and closer flights back to the UK.
Just wondered if anyone here had something like this going on or had any advice... Sorry for the book
Wouldn't take her away from her decent job until you had something. Why not move out to where you want to be on your own until you can find something, and then have her move out there to join you? Sounds like you've been married for a few years. Sometimes couples have to spend some time apart, usually due to employment reasons; could make your marriage stronger and lots of times, some time apart is good for a marriage. Whatever route you decide to take however, I wouldn't move until someone has a job.
Sorry I didn't have much to offer you though; hopefully someone can chime in here with more advice for you.
I completely understand how you feel. I am originally from a different state. I am living away from where all my family is. We moved from New England to the South for my husbands job, first to NC then SC. I really disliked NC but I love where we are now. I would love to live where my family is, but the economy there is horrible. I am tempted to move back but I know that we can not survive in that economy. It's really easy to get home sick and want to move immediately, but I would really look at jobs there and see if there are now jobs open in your field. Is there family that can help you? Sorry I know how you feel. I really disliked NC and it just didn't feel right for me.
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