Introversion doesn't mean having no personality (girlfriend, thoughts, parent, issues)
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Your doing quite a bit of judging yourself there sonny boy. Perhaps you should live your life as you want and try not take things so seriously; just accept people (and society) as it works.
I fail to say how what you are suggesting is different from what I said ... sonny boy.
We're a minority (about 25% of society by some measures) but not victims particularly. Society is, understandably, optimized for extroverts and introverts can be disparaged as "weird", "losers", or whatever ... but honestly most of us don't really give a fig. Compared to LGBTQ folks, some minorities, and the poor, I think whatever societies throws at us is quite overcomeable.
Mom was an introvert, so she didn't try pushing me. I grew up with good friends but not oodles of them. I didn't like groups and 'performing'. My best friends and I kept in touch throught adulthood. Since it was okay to be me, nobody ever said I should try to be different. Not until I was an adult.
Largely because I could be okay with myself, I survived stronger from a long illness. I kept a journal and wrote about anything, from book reviews to stories to pity parties, to whatever random ideas I was considering. It wasn't until it was over and I tried to 'fit in' with adult life that me being an introvert seemed to matter.
Job interview... you are supposed to show them how you'll fit in with them. Mostly I liked the work but dump it on my desk and leave and when I'm done I'll tell you was more my style. Fortunately for a few years I worked as a programmer, where introverts shine.
Other jobs? Sorry, I feel icky doing eye contact. I don't do well with 'small talk'. Just ask me about the job itself. Give me a corner and leave me alone. I guess some of us can pretend, but I couldn't.
I had problems with depression, and other illness. I was in this 'program'. It was always get out, socialize, make friends, go places. Ugh. Have to pretend I want to be there with a bunch of strangers. Ugh.
The difference was this time it was not just you, it was something to fix. Eventually they gave up when I'd go to the social meeting place and find a far corner, then leave in time for the next bus. But there really IS an expectation on the part of some that we need to be 'fixed' and be 'social' and 'normal'. It seems to be in vogue. I am very happy living in a small town out of the way and not having to be anyone but myself.
Thing is, use whatever words you want. Am I a loser? No, only to you. Am I wierd? Sure, shouldn't everyone be? Reclusive? Maybe, but then the 'norm' isn't very interesting to me.
I'm fine with myself. I don't need to be fixed. I might even suggest some of those who are always so busy being out there and sociable and 'involved' might want to take a day or two each week to spend with themselves and find out what's inside, since they might find life easier to deal with when they have to put up with 'downtime'. They might even find out stepping off the speed ramp once in a while gives you perspective.
I always heard/read self-righteous baboons says that maybe he or she doesn't have a personality. There is no such thing as no having a personality, everyone has a personality, even animals have a personality, even bugs have a personality. What you mean, is he or she doesn't have a charismatic personality, which is what you and others are attracted to.
But guess what? People are different, and not everyone was born to be charismatic. No such thing as a world where everyone is charismatic and ready to please your ass. Character, personality, intelligence, and so many other psychological traits are mainly genetic and have very little to do with environmental factors. You can TRY to come off as more charismatic, but since it doesn't come naturally to you, people will be able to tell. Here is the thread, where everyone will come and say, you can be charismatic and extroverted if you want to. You can be whatever you want. Yeah, right, keep dreaming.
If I just try hard enough, maybe someday, I can be like the Rock or Will Smith, yeah, I want to believe.
I think is ridiculous how society says that if someone is quiet or introverted, then he has no personality. He has a personality too, just because your ass don't like his personality, doesn't mean he doesn't have one. Personality is not only determined by how social you are or how much you talk. It involves many other aspects that have nothing to do with society.
Everything you are as a human being was determined before you were even born, this includes everything that has to do with your brain and psychological traits. There it is very little you can do change how your brain works, how it perceives things, how it reacts to life, etc.
As an introverted guy, I often have nothing to say while in social settings or have no desire to partake in many of the expected social contrivances which make up a large part of our everyday social interactions. I often feel perfectly fine just sitting back and listening to other people conversate. However, in order to be a good sport and to make an effort to be social in the spirit of goodwill, I will often simply flip my 'time to socialize switch' and become fairly engaging and talkative, even though deep down I would rather be doing something else or simply staying quiet. So, for me, I often times 'fake' a more extroverted, interested persona simply because not doing so would often be considered rude, disrespectful or socially awkward. I basically engage in pro-social forms of deception and lying simply because it is part of the social fabric undergirding a wide variety of social situations; or at least the social behaviors are expected, and for an intense introvert like me, I have to often fake the correct behaviors in order to be socially appropriate (all the while I am painfully aware of how insincere yet effective I am being -- at least a large part of the time).
Then, when I am alone, I feel completely at ease, relaxed, and genuine.
I'm an introvert, but most who know me would not say so. Because, I can turn on/off when I want to and they usually see me "playing" the part of an extrovert. I can be the life of the party or a wallflower at times. But, the bottom line is that I enjoy my ME time. I need it, it's like air to me. Also, I'm happy when others around me are happy whether i'm partaking in the conversation or not.
I'm an introvert, but most who know me would not say so. Because, I can turn on/off when I want to and they usually see me "playing" the part of an extrovert. I can be the life of the party or a wallflower at times. But, the bottom line is that I enjoy my ME time. I need it, it's like air to me. Also, I'm happy when others around me are happy whether i'm partaking in the conversation or not.
I identify as an extrovert, and I test that way on self tests. But I feel the same about "me time." I crave it.
I suspect that most of us are mixtures of extro- and intro- and our feelings change depending on the situation. Some people are more one way that the other.
What baffles me is how many posters here compose posts about the characteristics of introverts. Surely intros are as variable as extros? But the posts often contain a lot of bitter generalizations about extroverts.
I'm an introvert, but most who know me would not say so. Because, I can turn on/off when I want to and they usually see me "playing" the part of an extrovert. I can be the life of the party or a wallflower at times. But, the bottom line is that I enjoy my ME time. I need it, it's like air to me. Also, I'm happy when others around me are happy whether i'm partaking in the conversation or not.
You might be an ambivert, switching back and forth between introvert and extrovert. Sounds ideal to me. I hate being an introvert because of how people judge me (stuck up, boring, too quiet, won't "come out of my shell", and on and on and on). Extroverts rule this country and have better opportunities professionally and for finding a mate. Its so frustrating for me. I wish I could be someone else.
I suspect that at a very basic level extroverts don''t get introverts; so they neither respect nor value us.
There is no reason to value someone who is not making of himself the greatest possible value to the unit versus someone who is.
The idea that "social skills = extrovert" are in error. Anyone can develop basic social skills. I'm introverted enough that I've had supervisors tell me, "You make your peers uneasy because they don't know what you're thinking about things."
OTOH--at the same time--my subordinates respect me and like me because I do know how to delegate, how to give them the information they need and then stay out of their way.
One of my mentors taught me long ago "It's better to fix the problem than to fix the blame" and matters with subordinates are better handled with carefully chosen words at carefully chosen times than by an inner compulsion to say something all the time. The ability to hold your tongue is a virtue.
But that doesn't mean being an introvert is an excuse for being an uncooperative jerk.
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