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Externally, I have a pretty good life. I live in a nice cozy home with my immediate family, they are very loving/caring, all my basic needs are met, I'm in school about to achieve my associate's (goal is bachelor's), and I have an active social life with quite a few friends. The only downside is that I am not working at the moment but that could possibly change soon and that I have people constantly pestering me about my single status and their complaints about me wanting to be home most of the time.
Internally, I'm not where I should be. Most of the time I'm pretty content but I have my moments of depression, mainly over my own insecurities and things I see as lacking in my character, a little loneliness and isolation from time to time but those feelings are fleeting most of the time. I still struggle with lack of confidence and low self esteem.
All in all, my life is probably a strong 8.5 to a 9.
cons:
-have braces and need more expensive surgery on my jaw and i dont have the money for the deductible
-in a fair amount of debt from last year which was one of the worst years of my life
-i work too much and i am living paycheck to paycheck
-i live with a parent that is disabled. i pay 70-80% of all the household expenses.(so much for being lazy & entitled like my generational peers huh?)
-public places & meeting new people make me nervous unless i have a few drinks in me
-sex drive is throttled to the max ever since my weight loss a few years ago(yes, i consider this bad)
-my neighbors are awful people and i wish them eternal suffering and/or death
pros:
-i am in great health otherwise and very fit. no (diagnosed) mental health problems, LOL.
-i live in a nice apartment now
-i have a great deal of freedom to do whatever i want in my off time.
-no relationship obligations
-no children
-college degree
-i complain about this country alot, but i guess it could be worse. i get to enjoy lots of 1st world amenities
-i am saving for a vacation
-i have infinite entertaining options
-currently trying to enjoy life alot more now than in the past
So many times I'm really ashamed of any unhappiness I might feel, and I have to remind myself by looking at my life and picturing how other less fortunate, sometimes brutally suffering, people would view it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea
Depends on which context.
Externally, I have a pretty good life. I live in a nice cozy home with my immediate family, they are very loving/caring, all my basic needs are met, I'm in school about to achieve my associate's (goal is bachelor's), and I have an active social life with quite a few friends. The only downside is that I am not working at the moment but that could possibly change soon and that I have people constantly pestering me about my single status and their complaints about me wanting to be home most of the time.
Internally, I'm not where I should be. Most of the time I'm pretty content but I have my moments of depression, mainly over my own insecurities and things I see as lacking in my character, a little loneliness and isolation from time to time but those feelings are fleeting most of the time. I still struggle with lack of confidence and low self esteem.
All in all, my life is probably a strong 8.5 to a 9.
I agree, Auraliea. Most of the unhappiness I've experienced throughout my life has been internal.
Interesting that 9s and 10s are the norm on this thread. I must really be out of the mainstream. On paper my life is about a 2 (at one point it was around an 8). Reasons would include poverty, the end of a once great career, serious health issues (that thankfully are under control), no family, and deep social isolation. Yet for some reason I am not depressed and I would give my life a 5. I can basically do what I want each day and indulge in my hobbies and interests.
A week before my 19th birthday, I was left in a mine field in Southern Iraq with enemy combatants in the vicinity. The left side of my body had been severely injured and I had amnesia with no memory of where I was or who I was. We had been ambushed and the rest of my squad didn't realize they had left me behind in their escape.
Whenever I have had a bad day since then, I remember that I am alive, I am free, and a whole lot of other things could have gone wrong that day.
I could have:
Stepped on a land mine and been a feast for the buzzards.
Been found by the enemy and held as a POW and tortured.
Been taken in by a goat herder and I could have been herding goats for months, maybe even years before I sorted it out.
But I was found two days later, slumped in a pile along side a road, by another US Army unit. Every day since then looks like at least an 8.5 to me.
I like the pros/cons way of describing it, so here are mine:
Pros:
Healthy and in good shape. Told all the time I look 10 years younger or more, which at my age, and wanting a family, is a good thing.
Have a great career
Have a great pet
Live in a nice apartment. Both a pro and a con because I want to buy a house, just not in this part of the country
Forcing myself to get out of the house more and try things like salsa, improv, sailing, etc.
Cons:
Have been depressed most of my life
Major self confidence problems and fear rejection
Introvert (yes, I view this as a con since extroverts rule the U.S. culture)
Getting old and still no family of my own, my biggest regret
Estranged relationship with immediate family
Have very few real friends. If I disappeared tomorrow, nobody would notice.
Want to be married and get out of the dating world forever, and seems impossible to even date, much less find a wife.
Not comfortable in my own skin, particularly around people I don't know or new situations.
While I like being alone sometimes, I'm always alone and very lonely.
So many times I'm really ashamed of any unhappiness I might feel, and I have to remind myself by looking at my life and picturing how other less fortunate, sometimes brutally suffering, people would view it.
I agree, Auraliea. Most of the unhappiness I've experienced throughout my life has been internal.
I don't think you need to feel ashamed; other people's suffering does not negate your own. It's important to acknowledge how fortunate you are and to empathize with and help others, but remember to love and take care of yourself as well!
I'll need some descriptions of the rating system. What are the addition and subtraction we are to apply for things we had no control over? For instances, if we are comparing ourselves to the world art large, how many points do we add on for being born in a "First" World Nation? Do we add or subtract points for being a certain ethnicity? How about income and education relevant to said income? How many points do we lose for being single or married?
Good
- I finally scored a job where I actually feel valued.
- I live in a city I really like.
- I have an active social life.
Bad
- I don't trust my mother enough to have a close relationship with her because of past issues.
- I can't attract a decent woman to save my life.
- I'm a virgin.
- My peers are outearning me and have progressed farther in their careers than I have.
- I'm not very attractive.
I don't know you but I hope it improves for you soon. I think it will.
You post on alot of the same subs that I read & I do find that I rarely agree with you...
However; I sense intelligence in almost everything you write & that has to count for something!
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