Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Whether it is at work or meeting people in public places, it never fails that I get the impression that they don't like me. This makes it difficult to meet people because the feeling usually comes quickly at the first thing they do via body language, voice inflection or what have you that indicates disinterest. I then get discouraged and don't pursue the relationship any further (because I've already decided why bother, they don't like me).
At work, this leads to feelings of loneliness and bitterness/hatred towards coworkers. I especially get these feelings when I see other coworkers talking to one another about weekend plans, what they did last night, etc. No one ever talks to me about those things because no one likes or cares about me. If I ask someone what they did over the weekend they will tell me but they don't ask what I did (because they don't like me but do like talking about themselves). I sometimes think about what they would say/do if they found out I died, either by suicide or natural means. This thought scenario usually progresses to me imagining them being happy or indifferent about it but most of the time, happy or relieved ("I'm glad that annoying loser is gone").
This might be an opportunity for some reflection on your part. What is it that you think people don't like about you? People are quite often attracted to those who make them feel good while interacting. Maybe you need to take stock of your body language, conversational topics, and whether or not you give people the impression that you'd LIKE to be friendly with them. I think we have a type of sixth sense that allows us to kind of avoid people who have hateful undertones (as you've admitted about your coworkers.) We tend to actively avoid people who seem to wish bad things upon us.
I think it would be very beneficial for you to talk to an impartial therapist about this. Unless you're doing things to actively repel people, a lot of this could be imagined. And then it turns into a self fulfilling prophecy because you just assume that people will not like you. It's almost impossible that you're universally disliked, so I have to believe with some behavioral help, you could feel a lot better about life overall. Good luck to you!
In a perfect world, I want everyone to like me. For example, when I first met the people at my work I wanted them to like me. I envisioned them liking me. I desperately want friends because I'm very lonely. Then as time went on, I found that they probably don't like me because they don't talk to me. If they liked me, they'd talk to me, wouldn't they? And like I said in the OP, when I ask about their weekend or what have you, they never ask about mine so I think that's a pretty clear indicator that I'm right, they don't like me.
This might be an opportunity for some reflection on your part. What is it that you think people don't like about you? People are quite often attracted to those who make them feel good while interacting. Maybe you need to take stock of your body language, conversational topics, and whether or not you give people the impression that you'd LIKE to be friendly with them. I think we have a type of sixth sense that allows us to kind of avoid people who have hateful undertones (as you've admitted about your coworkers.) We tend to actively avoid people who seem to wish bad things upon us.
I think it would be very beneficial for you to talk to an impartial therapist about this. Unless you're doing things to actively repel people, a lot of this could be imagined. And then it turns into a self fulfilling prophecy because you just assume that people will not like you. It's almost impossible that you're universally disliked, so I have to believe with some behavioral help, you could feel a lot better about life overall. Good luck to you!
I know I'm socially awkward or at least I feel like I am so I likely come across that way to others. I also have difficulty hearing (partially deaf) which to some people may make talking to me too much work so they avoid doing so.
Oh, the difficulty in hearing makes sense. My father also has some issues with this and it leads to having to have very overly loud conversations, which can be awkward. Is there any help to be had with this? Do you have a hearing aid that might help at least somewhat?
A lot of us feel socially awkward, seriously. I think we're all just doing the best we can... you included!
Try focusing on just a couple of people who seem friendlier than the others, perhaps. Ask them questions about themselves... not a lot... just here and there. Smile when you see them. Or maybe bring some treats to the office once in awhile. People respond to donuts. People also like to talk about their pets, have you ever noticed that? If you know someone has a dog or cat, etc. ask questions about them... ask to see a photo. Smile at the stories, even if they're super boring. Soon people will know more of what you're about and will respond more favorably, I bet.
Have you considered therapy? You come across as being depressed.
I agree with Pitt Chick.
If the issue is money or lack of insurance for mental health services, check with social services in your area and ask about clinics that have a sliding fee scale. Most cities/towns have them now.
You aren't happy with the way things are, so you'll have to be willing to put in the time and work to change them. You need someone to walk you through this, where you are to where you want to be and how you'll get there. A little too extensive to handle in this forum.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
