Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
This thing is really f*** my life every day. I'm really done with this, and I need to solve it as soon as I can. It's hard for me to describe my exact feelings, but here's a try:
I have like small tics every day inside my mind about things that already happened in the past (whether 1 hour ago, or even 8 years ago). the past scenarios come to my mind in seconds about something that I either should not have done/say OR should have done/say better than the way I did it. Sometimes it can be something really really small like; (I shouldn't have said to the waiter that word).
About the tics: when these scenarios come to my mind, I got the feeling to let it go and I do - with my whole awareness - some tics like talking loudly and saying some words like "shut up, it doesn't matter", "shhh", "f***", "yeah yeah, it doesn't f*** matter". or sometimes the tics can be a movement with my hand like "slapping my face ", "turning my face quickly to let it go", "hitting something in front of me like the keyboard".
NOTE again that these tics come with awareness, which means that I am aware of doing them. but the main problem is that feeling about the past, I don't know if I should call it regret or guilt or self-blame or something related to perfectionism. I have no idea.
If you know what this is, or at least a hint to start searching for this problem, please don't hesitate to share with me your opinion.
It could be self-blame. It could be your conscience telling you that you did something which violated your values system.
Since they are bothering you it would be worth evaluating each to determine if you are being self-defeating or if you have some garbage in your past that needs to be picked up.
If you have done people wrong you can take steps to right that behavior with an apology or even restoration.
If you are beating yourself up for things that can't be changed then it's worth finding out how to let that go. So I'd start by sorting.
It could be self-blame. It could be your conscience telling you that you did something which violated your values system.
Since they are bothering you it would be worth evaluating each to determine if you are being self-defeating or if you have some garbage in your past that needs to be picked up.
If you have done people wrong you can take steps to right that behavior with an apology or even restoration.
If you are beating yourself up for things that can't be changed then it's worth finding out how to let that go. So I'd start by sorting.
Thanks a lot for your help. I guess it's self-blame because I've just seen some videos and articles and it seems that's the problem.
I wanted to know the exact reason for this (like if it's something related to my childhood, or if I had a trauma) so I can do a right start in solving this problem. but anyway, for the moment, I'm thinking about doing 2 things:
- Meditation (especially about acceptance and self-blame): so I can "install" in my mind the idea of letting go.
- Change the tics to a small habit tic (I don't know yet how to do this, but I guess I'm gonna use a specific movement like doing finger snapping or clicking on a small button), and keep doing only 1 tic until I'll reach the acceptance level.
I hope this will work, otherwise, I'll have to see a psycho.
Remember that people who begin a path of self-healing are people in a state of improvement, not perfect people. They need acceptance and encouragement. So you will start to notice the messages you tell yourself and remember to speak to yourself in a kind voice, just like you would to anyone else trying to heal and change.
Good start that you aren't going to do anymore "face slapping."
I'm not a doctor, buuuuuut... as someone who has OCD, this sounds an awful lot like OCD. So I'd start there!
Can you see a professional for diagnosis? That's really the only way to know for sure, and to start getting treatment (for whatever it is). This isn't something you can just wish or meditate away, unfortunately.
It could be self-blame. It could be your conscience telling you that you did something which violated your values system.
Since they are bothering you it would be worth evaluating each to determine if you are being self-defeating or if you have some garbage in your past that needs to be picked up.
If you have done people wrong you can take steps to right that behavior with an apology or even restoration.
If you are beating yourself up for things that can't be changed then it's worth finding out how to let that go. So I'd start by sorting.
Makes sense. In a way, your mind's telling you there is a lot of unfinished business. So, it keeps shoving reminders unbidden into your present field of view. Tying up some of those loose ends (and I don't necessarily mean it in terms of OCD) could take those items off your emotional "to do" list and neutralize some of those tics.
if you decide to seek professional help, i would recommend a counselor or therapist, rather than a Psychiatrist. So that the focus is addressing the underlying problem (therapist), rather than throwing drugs at the symptom (Psychiatrist).
if there is anyone in your family or friendships or relationships (past or present or childhood) who has ever had problems with alcohol use or drug use, then it would be very helpful for you to attend the group Al-Anon (NOT alcoholics anonymous, this is a different group). You are sure to hear in these meetings something that applies to your situation and it is very practical and useful. Also inexpensive, something like $1 a meeting, or free if you can't afford it. Well worth it. Attend 30 meetings in 30 days. Then decide after that whether to keep attending.
Whatever it is, I have it, too. Not the "self-talk"; I don't talk to myself, even inside my head, but I find it almost impossible to get over dumb mistakes I've made in the past, and it makes it very difficult for me to make decisions since I fear they'll also be mistakes.
Sometimes it seems my life is just one long string of regrets...
Following for advice!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
", "turning my face quickly to let it go", "hitting something in front of me like the keyboard".
