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My husband is the poster child for this! From the minute he wakes up whatever room he goes in the light goes on and stays on. Kitchen cabinets stay open, pantry door, closet doors, bathroom cabinets, shower curtain is open on both ends (can't figure that one out, dont most people enter and exit the shower at the same end?). With ziplock bags instead of closing them by running your fingers down the closing strip, he just makes little tapes in a few places so that it is not sealed. Bread bag is full of air so that I have go back and let the air out and re-twist tie it so it wont go stale. Any container in the fridge is never fully sealed or closed...EVER. Same with medicine bottles. Lids are put back on crooked every time. He only mows the front yard and waits a couple weeks before doing the back, which is doing it half-way. Dont understand this as our backyard is very small. He has even taken off driving after getting in the car without closing the door! He cannot close the mailbox after getting mail out just lets it hang open. Forgets to lock the car, the house, close and lock the doors. Lately he has been leaving the refrigerator door open A LOT to the point where it is all frozen up having been left open for who knows how long. Same with freezer to the point of having to throw away food as it has all thawed and all ice has melted. This all totally drives me insane!
My reasoning for his problem is this: As a kid his mom was a single parent to 4 kids. She worked nights and slept during the day when they were in school. They had to get themselves ready for school and make their meals. I dont think she taught him how to turn on and off lights, open and close doors, etc. He simply was never taught. But as I have talked with him about this and how it is frustrating to me, he continues to do it based on pure laziness and carelessness. This thing with the refrigerator and freezer though is something I just dont know how to deal with. How hard is it to make sure the doors are closed after getting something out to prevent spoilage? I think a child would even be smart enough to know to close the doors!
Thanks for letting me vent. Its nice to know others out there are dealing with the same situation. We are NOT OCD, we just were taught how to do things and have continued this process throughout our lives. Why do manufacturers put doors on cabinets and in closets in houses if they are meant to be left open?
I feel your pain. My husband is not that extreme but I have often wondered WHY for instance, he won't put his seat belt on till the vehicle is ding donging away and then he acts frustrated. Thankfully, on our fridge door, there's an alarm that goes off if it's left open, and so when it goes off after he sits back down n the living room, I just say "The fridge door is still open," but I swear if I didn't say that, he'd be oblivious to the little alarm! But I don't get up to close it - he needs to do that, and he does but it's always with a lot of sighing as if Someone Somewhere is forcing him to be compliant!
I feel your pain. My husband is not that extreme but I have often wondered WHY for instance, he won't put his seat belt on till the vehicle is ding donging away and then he acts frustrated. Thankfully, on our fridge door, there's an alarm that goes off if it's left open, and so when it goes off after he sits back down n the living room, I just say "The fridge door is still open," but I swear if I didn't say that, he'd be oblivious to the little alarm! But I don't get up to close it - he needs to do that, and he does but it's always with a lot of sighing as if Someone Somewhere is forcing him to be compliant!
I think it is as simple as personality types like the Myers Briggs personality inventory.
Some people are big picture type people and don't pay attention to details, others are
motivated by different things. Some like to plan every detail of a trip, others enjoy winging it.
Some think out of the box and others are very conventional.
If you are married and you are harping on your mate constantly about little
details like shutting cabinet doors, the marriage is going to be in trouble eventually.
I feel your pain. My husband is not that extreme but I have often wondered WHY for instance, he won't put his seat belt on till the vehicle is ding donging away and then he acts frustrated. Thankfully, on our fridge door, there's an alarm that goes off if it's left open, and so when it goes off after he sits back down n the living room, I just say "The fridge door is still open," but I swear if I didn't say that, he'd be oblivious to the little alarm! But I don't get up to close it - he needs to do that, and he does but it's always with a lot of sighing as if Someone Somewhere is forcing him to be compliant!
LOL I'm a little bit like this too. I think you're right, for me it's a holdover from the days when my parents could tell me what to do, which I always hated and probably swore that "I'll do whatever I want when I'm a grownup."
I know, I know, it is totally self-sabotaging and ridiculous! Thankfully my husband is pretty understanding ... though there are times ...
I think it is as simple as personality types like the Myers Briggs personality inventory.
Some people are big picture type people and don't pay attention to details, others are
motivated by different things. Some like to plan every detail of a trip, others enjoy winging it.
Some think out of the box and others are very conventional.
If you are married and you are harping on your mate constantly about little
details like shutting cabinet doors, the marriage is going to be in trouble eventually.
Oh, for Pete's sake! Kathryn, asking her husband to close the refrigerator door, is hardly "constantly harping."
No more so than when I was upset to come home from a vacation to find out that my husband had left our back sliding glass door open a couple of inches. I was not "harping" on him about it, but yes, for sure it was upsetting. Not only was our back door unlocked, but it was actually open.
These kinds of things have nothing to do with paying attention to detail. Leaving a refrigerator door or back door open can cause all kinds of problems.
what about people who notice people who never shut a drawer all the way?
i mean, theres a lot of range there-- half sticking out, just part of the front-- with a gap, without a gap--
if it has implications beyond the aesthetic, i can understand the frustration. if this is a "which side of the toothpaste" thing, i wouldnt read that much into it. the dsm-v covers caffeine addiction as a "disorder." im pretty sure putting the roll of toilet paper so the free side faces the wall will be in dsm-vi, they seem to be running low on ideas. (it annoys me too, im just not sure it qualifies as a disorder.)
When one looks at some of the research, leaving drawers and cabinets open is often or sometimes correlated with Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), distractibility, and attention span.
Do people with those disorders also leave their front doors open? What about the refrigerator door? Oven door? I think it is more just minor laziness.
I have ADHD but I am also kind of a neat freak and keep my house clean and tidy. I have left a drawer open while in the kitchen cooking but after doing the dishes and putting them away I always close all the drawers and cabinet doors.
My ex was short and used to leave cabinet doors open all the time and I would get on her about it. One time we were both in the kitchen and I bent down to get something out of a lower cabinet while she opened the upper cabinet above me. Of course, she left the door open so when I stood up I banged my head on the door. She never left a door open again after that!
Yes, he leaves front door, trunk of car, refridgerator and oven doors open...anything that can be opened, he leaves it. I call it scatterbrained.
I can't for the life of me figure this out. But it seems like in my husband's case, it's sort of a case of rebelling against society's expectations and demands as he sees them.
For instance, this same guy will get in the car and EVERY SINGLE TIME, he waits until the little "ding ding ding" thing that is saying "Put on your seat belt" goes off, not once, not twice, but THREE times. I mean, my gosh, why not just put your belt on as soon as you get in the car? I mean, you're going to do it anyway, why not do it when you're sitting in the driveway or parking lot rather than struggling with it, saying, "ALRIGHT ALREADY, SHUT UP!" to the CAR, while you're driving down the road?
The other day, he went upstairs for something, and left the attic door open and the light on in the attic. I discovered this two days later. WHY WHY WHY? But if I say anything, I become "the ding ding thing" in the car - the "system" telling him to do something a certain way.
OH MY GOSH! Just shut the door! Turn off the light! Put your belt on! You know - if you do it yourself, no one will have to remind you to do it later. WIN WIN!
I can't for the life of me figure this out. But it seems like in my husband's case, it's sort of a case of rebelling against society's expectations and demands as he sees them.
For instance, this same guy will get in the car and EVERY SINGLE TIME, he waits until the little "ding ding ding" thing that is saying "Put on your seat belt" goes off, not once, not twice, but THREE times. I mean, my gosh, why not just put your belt on as soon as you get in the car? I mean, you're going to do it anyway, why not do it when you're sitting in the driveway or parking lot rather than struggling with it, saying, "ALRIGHT ALREADY, SHUT UP!" to the CAR, while you're driving down the road?
The other day, he went upstairs for something, and left the attic door open and the light on in the attic. I discovered this two days later. WHY WHY WHY? But if I say anything, I become "the ding ding thing" in the car - the "system" telling him to do something a certain way.
OH MY GOSH! Just shut the door! Turn off the light! Put your belt on! You know - if you do it yourself, no one will have to remind you to do it later. WIN WIN!
Seems like you and a lot of posters here have very little understanding that everyones brain does not work exactly the same as theirs does.
I am one that certainly sometimes has to be told to put my seatbelt on by others that hear the "ding ding ding" People with ADD can focus so completely on something that other things are completely blocked out.
Why be mad at someone for the way they are wired??
It would be the same as being angry at a Dyslexic person for not reading very well, or a visual handicapped person for not seeing clearly.
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