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LOL. I talk to the seatbelt beepy thing too. Alright, alright. I was going to, hold on a SECOND. I have not even considered driving yet, what is the rush? May I please arrange my things before I strap myself in?
Lordy. It starts beeping too soon. I was young when seatbelt laws were enacted. I KNOW! I am NOT going anywhere unstrapped!
You talk a lot nicer to your seat belt alarm than I do !!!!
That is a little OCD though. Alternative solutions annoy you. No judgement or criticism. We all have our things. A friend of mine is a lot like you and I mess with her. Putting something in a different way than she keeps it and she says I don't care. But then her eyes keep going to it. She totally cares. I don't mess with her anymore, it was just a funny thing before.
She is a FANTASTIC friend, so IDC if she is OCD for ME, but I think it bothers HER. Every single day she is annoyed by at least one family member who isn't doing something exactly how she would do it and her way always makes sense and their way makes no sense. And she has good arguments for her way, but there is only a slight amount of the brain that says 'different strokes for different folks' and the rest is screaming that this is just wrong. Just incorrect, period.
You and your hubby sound almost exactly like her and hers. He is totally laid back. He just does not care at all about 1,000 things that are important to her. At all. He cares about HER. But he cannot adjust to all these things that are totally different from how he was raised.
I think you have to adjust and use the cabinet for something else and have the stack thingy or another solution. This is something that will never change!
You're right - it won't change. I can only change myself, no one else.
I AM a little OCD. I know that I am. Which is why I don't make an issue out of any of this stuff with my husband - I figure "the right way" probably falls somewhere in the middle. I'm just venting about how I feel about these scenarios.
I think your friend is probably more fixated on things or people than I am. But of course that's hard to tell. You admit to "messing with her," which seems a bit, I don't know, mean or ornery at the least, so it's hard to tell. I don't want anyone "messing with me" for any reason - I don't see the humor in it. I see humor in plenty of things, but I don't like being messed with.
I have put some thought into this TP stack thingie - I've already thought about it but this thread has made me rethink it. No, I'm not going to do it. For one thing, I don't have room near the toilet in either downstairs bathroom so it would just look cluttered. And secondly, I would just have to keep an eye on the TP stack thing and keep it filled up. So I may as well just take note of the TP roll itself before I sit down. Which is a hassle but if I'm going to keep up with something, I may as well not add to the clutter - LOL.
It's not that alternative ways of looking at things, or alternative solutions for that matter, annoy me. (What bothers me is double work or useless effort.) Remember, I have a dyslexic son who sees JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING from a different perspective and I love getting his input on things. Also, I appreciate anyone who thinks "outside the box," which is one thing (among many) that I really admire about my husband. Besides the fact that he's tenacious as hell, he also is a fabulous problem solver. That's why this whole weirdness at home bothers the heck out of me. It seems so slap happy or lackadaisical and careless.
And it COSTS ME. Which is irritating. It costs me time. It costs me worry. It costs me effort and energy. I don't like that. Listen, it's one thing to be careless and it not impact anyone else. Live by yourself? Changing your own light bulbs and toilet paper rolls and batteries and all that jazz? Have at it. But that's not the case at our house.
OK get this. My husband lives two weeks out of every month in an RV that we own, out of state, working. (He is a great provider and I really appreciate that.) When he first took the RV out there, I went with him, and I set up nearly everything, which he wanted me to do. But now he's lived out there about a year, and now he keeps saying, "I need you to come out there and arrange everything for me. Everything is so unorganized." I'm sure it is. I already went out there once and put everything "in order." My husband is not a slob. I'm sure the place is clean. I'm sure it's neat. But I'm also sure it's a hot mess in a lot of ways. My goodness, I hate to think! I bet I couldn't find a thing in that kitchen.
But there's something in me that likes the idea of him having to deal with that toilet paper roll himself!
Last edited by KathrynAragon; 03-24-2019 at 07:39 PM..
I have put some thought into this TP stack thingie - I've already thought about it but this thread has made me rethink it. No, I'm not going to do it. For one thing, I don't have room near the toilet in either downstairs bathroom so it would just look cluttered. And secondly, I would just have to keep an eye on the TP stack thing and keep it filled up. So I may as well just take note of the TP roll itself before I sit down. Which is a hassle but if I'm going to keep up with something, I may as well not add to the clutter - LOL.
Well, that was my original suggestion. Just train yourself to look first. I have to do that because I might have not gotten a new one myself. Consequences for not doing so trained me. So why do they not train me just to get a new role to begin with. IDK. Squirrel? For whatever reason the consequences taught my brain to look before sitting, but not to care about putting on the new roll. I wash my hands and SQUIRREL!? I'm certainly not touching a thing until I wash my hands.........
LOL. I talk to the seatbelt beepy thing too. Alright, alright. I was going to, hold on a SECOND. I have not even considered driving yet, what is the rush? May I please arrange my things before I strap myself in?
Lordy. It starts beeping too soon. I was young when seatbelt laws were enacted. I KNOW! I am NOT going anywhere unstrapped!
See, the difference is that you're not moving, apparently. My husband gets in the vehicle, and takes off down the road, without putting his belt on. I mean, he is DOWN THE ROAD by the time the alarm thingie goes off for the third time! Then he is trying to drive, trying to pull his belt around, yelling at it, swerving in the road, driving with one knee and trying to fasten the belt with both hands. It's unnerving.
I honestly think he didn't grow up wearing a seatbelt. I blame his mom for that. But I grew up in a family where we did not leave the driveway till everyone was strapped in. And now that there are all these alarms, what on earth is the point in NOT just going ahead and putting the belt on?
I AM a little OCD. I know that I am. Which is why I don't make an issue out of any of this stuff with my husband - I figure "the right way" probably falls somewhere in the middle. I'm just venting about how I feel about these scenarios.
I think your friend is probably more fixated on things than I am. But of course that's hard to tell. You admit to "messing with her," which seems a bit, I don't know, mean or ornery at the least, so it's hard to tell. I don't want anyone "messing with me" for any reason - I don't see the humor in it. I see humor in plenty of things, but I don't like being messed with.
goshes it wasn't a big deal and I don't keep doing it. I didn't go into a cabinet and mess it up or anything. I meant something small right in front of her. I don't even remember what it was now it was so insignificant. I love her, I wouldn't mess with her in a rude way.
I am used to friends who are playful so not being playful is hard to adjust to, but I adjust for her as she does in other ways for me because that is what people who care about each other do.
Another OCD friend would laugh and laugh at themselves for being 'caught' looking at the object over and over after stating they don't care. And I could say obviously you DO! And they would say yeah, and LAUGH. She is not that way. So I don't do it.
I'm also used to people who are out and proud about being OCD or ADD or whatever and some people don't like to admit 'failings' as I guess they see them. So to her my joking about that was more like a criticism. Lesson learned.
OCD is anxiety based and she doesn't want to talk about that either. Which is her right.
My Uncle is super duper OCD so I grew up with it. No one talks about whether it's anxiety based or what the reason is. It just is. He is much stricter than anyone I've ever known and things are really simple. Everyone knows the things he's OCD about and simply does them.
A glass or a plate may not sit for even a moment. It must be washed and dried by hand and put away immediately.
I asked my Aunt recently then how did we use the dishwasher when I was young? Let other things dry in the dish drainer? She said he wasn't home and never knew. LOL.
See, the difference is that you're not moving, apparently. My husband gets in the vehicle, and takes off down the road, without putting his belt on. I mean, he is DOWN THE ROAD by the time the alarm thingie goes off for the third time! Then he is trying to drive, trying to pull his belt around, yelling at it, swerving in the road, driving with one knee and trying to fasten the belt with both hands. It's unnerving.
I honestly think he didn't grow up wearing a seatbelt. I blame his mom for that. But I grew up in a family where we did not leave the driveway till everyone was strapped in. And now that there are all these alarms, what on earth is the point in NOT just going ahead and putting the belt on?
I have no idea. Everyone has their habits! My Dad goes 55 in the left lane. The PASSING LANE. We have gotten out driving manuals and all sorts of things clearly stating this is INCORRECT, but he's never going to stop doing it.
When we went to court I noticed all the drivers going around us and laughed on the inside. No point in saying anything! He's going to do this for the rest of his life which I hope is long and healthy and he keeps on making the other drivers go around him.
Right - we're talking about habits. And many of our habits annoy other people. The thread is about habits that annoy other people and WHAT could be at the bottom of such habits. I wish I knew but one thing I do know is that my husband is not likely to change and no amount of harping on any of it will get him to change.
I will say this though, which I think is interesting (and hopeful). I recently got a new vehicle. You know how it is when it's new - you are all concerned about keeping it pristine, right? Plus in my last vehicle, we had a woman open her car door so hard into the side that she left a 2 inch dent and scratched paint and if we hadn't been sitting in the car when that happened, she would never have fixed it, that's for sure. So I'm really particular about parking way away from anyone else and it's better for us to walk a longer distance anyway. I had reported about how my husband will invariably park with a space on either side, even when he parks way far away at the end of a lot.
But I always park in the very end space if possible. That way at least there's only "danger" on one side - if someone else is going to park that far out. It always has bothered me when my husband would park far out in a lot - but still leave "danger" on either side. Why go ALMOST the distance but not quite?
Well, I never said anything because it would be pointless anyway and he'd think I was nagging or criticizing him, which is always counter productive. But apparently he noticed that slight difference whenever I was driving. So now, at least sometimes, he will park in the very end slot or with at least one side protected by a curb or whatever. I didn't have to say anything! This is a new development.
He also asked me to help him "organize" the garage and storage shed. I had to bite my tongue a lot but I also did give some input that he listened to. So there is hope!
What I do sometimes is leave a cupboard door or drawer open temporarily because I am completing some task and will return in a few minutes. Same with refrigerator; rather than repeatedly opening/shutting the door while getting things out (or putting them in) - I leave it open until the job is done. For some people this is unacceptable which to me seems excessive. Either way if this is the most important thing we have to worry about we are lucky.
What I do sometimes is leave a cupboard door or drawer open temporarily because I am completing some task and will return in a few minutes. Same with refrigerator; rather than repeatedly opening/shutting the door while getting things out (or putting them in) - I leave it open until the job is done. For some people this is unacceptable which to me seems excessive. Either way if this is the most important thing we have to worry about we are lucky.
quite!
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