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I just had a phone interview for a job I really want. I looked the supervisor up on Facebook, and realized she looks scary. She wears heavy eyeliner and has sharp eyebrows. Women like that scare me because I'm inclined to think they will yell at me. In the past, people have picked up on the fact that I'm scared and they get offended and it causes all sorts of problems. But I really want this job. Is there a way to condition yourself to toughen up and not appear scared?
Yes, practice doing things that scare you, over and over...see that you can be afraid and still get through it. That is how you build confidence. I would for this interview, work on some positive affirmations. You have to feel confident before it will show to others. Again, this requires effort, exercising mental muscles is not different than any other part of you, work - rewards. Find some affirmations, download an MP3 of positive affirmations, etc. There is no "trick" you can use though.
However, there is also a need to trust your instincts and intuition. Investigation Discovery exists as a channel because people want to ignore their basic instincts about other people. Just sayin. Maybe there is a reason you feel something.
Yes, practice doing things that scare you, over and over...see that you can be afraid and still get through it. That is how you build confidence. I would for this interview, work on some positive affirmations. You have to feel confident before it will show to others. Again, this requires effort, exercising mental muscles is not different than any other part of you, work - rewards. Find some affirmations, download an MP3 of positive affirmations, etc. There is no "trick" you can use though.
There sure is a "trick" you can use. Lawyers use it all the time. It's called, "never ask a question you don't know the answer to," and of far greater importance: the Boy Scout motto, "be prepared."
Any interview I'm in where they rock me on my heels, which hasn't happened in many years, I assumed (correctly) it was already a lost cause. With sufficient preparation, for any question they would typically ask in any particular interview, they are not terribly stressful situations. "Sufficient preparation" sometimes takes days. Serious, in-depth research on the company and every/any duty listed in the job description.
There will always be a few who pounce when they sense fear. It's the dark side of human nature. I find it all rather amusing anymore, but I have nothing to lose. They start that crap, I double-down. If that fails, leave and find another opportunity.
There sure is a "trick" you can use. Lawyers use it all the time. It's called, "never ask a question you don't know the answer to," and of far greater importance: the Boy Scout motto, "be prepared."
Any interview I'm in where they rock me on my heels, which hasn't happened in many years, I assumed (correctly) it was already a lost cause. With sufficient preparation, for any question they would typically ask in any particular interview, they are not terribly stressful situations. "Sufficient preparation" sometimes takes days. Serious, in-depth research on the company and every/any duty listed in the job description.
There will always be a few who pounce when they sense fear. It's the dark side of human nature. I find it all rather amusing anymore, but I have nothing to lose. They start that crap, I double-down. If that fails, leave and find another opportunity.
Don't give others power over you voluntarily.
The woman hasn't challenged him at all...he is afraid merely by seeing a picture of her. My impression from that is that OP has some anxiety issues that are much bigger than most job applicants. he has stated that he often comes off as afraid in situations and that it has hurt him. Again IMO, it is only by continually doing things that scare you that can enable real improvement.
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