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I am tired of working a crappy job with little income. I am tired of having to go to school so I can try to get a better job. I am tired of the stresses of life. I am tired of the difficulties of trying to get a girl interested in me. I am tired of worrying about my future. i am tired of the pressure I put on myself to not be a bum. I am tired of the endless bills, the lack of money. I am tired of my thinning hair. I am tired of school and studying. I am tired of life.
I just want to get in my nice comfy bed and sleep for a very long long time. Wake up one day where all my worries, all my frustrations, all my responsibilities disappear. Not having to worry about my future. Where i was a young freshman in college without a care in the world, doing whatever I wanted, meeting new people, waking up whenever, only having to worry about doing good in school. Having a girlfriend to just lay in bed with and talk to. Just being able to rest my head on the comfort that I once had with someone close, at my most vulnerable, just telling me that it is going to be all okay that this will go away and I will be happy again. I just want to be happy again. They say real world is tough, well they were not wrong. Tomorrow I wake up at 6 o'clock, half dead asleep, going through the motions, a robot, to work a crappy job just to pay the bills, and continue "living." An endless cycle.
Last edited by goingbald42; 09-23-2016 at 02:16 AM..
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
44,585 posts, read 81,186,228 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Garthur
Ya, you are right. This is way I retired and basically said FU to the daily grind.
What you are experiencing is the same for a majority of the population.
Yes, some of us eventually got to a better place in life after many years, but almost everyone goes through this same grind at some point in their life. No one ever said it would be easy, it can take many years of hard work outside of the grind to get away from it.
OP, I had to smile when you mentioned wanting to sleep all day and waking up to a better time. I envy my dogs, because all they have to do is sleep, wake-up, eat..no worries about paying bills, keeping a job..we're in the process of selling our house and the dogs will eventually just take a long road trip with lots of naps and end up in a new state. I'd love to be able to do that!
There is so much crap to deal with in life, but things do get better. Everyone has to go through the grind to get anywhere, unless you're a trust fund kid. Hemlock is totally right, no one ever said it would be easy.
I know how you feel. As an introverted shy male I get passed over by the women who like the outgoing confident men who cold approach and know how to turn on the charm. Though I'd make a good father and am honest and responsible I live a solitary life which is mostly peaceful. It gets moreso by the day as I dug into researching our psychology and how the human mind works.
I now see my personality, my drives and compulsions, as merely learned habits and behaviors stored in the subconscious mind and take a very impersonal view of them now, realizing that with visualization and discipline I can basically rewire my brain... I initially read this material in David Hawkins books some years ago but only recent has it really "sunk in" after finding a more scientific based view of how the mind works.
It's very liberating knowing I don't "have" to have children or find someone, that I can just relax in the house I just bought, with the extra cash I have, and work on making more money in the stock market. I have a good paying job that's not overly stressful and plenty of play money because I'm single though, so it's not the same as grinding at a crap job... I'm grateful my job lets me pursue my personal development in this manner.
Still there's this urge in everyone to conform, it's culturally and genetically driven. You have to find your own way, and not worry about what other people think. The most rewarding things in life come from hard work and discipline though... simply sleeping all day and not having the good and the bad as contrast will make one a dull person. Hardship builds character. Women who are pampered and spoiled their whole life get princess syndrome, they're annoying to be around.. just one of many examples... but they can't help it that's the way their wired, so I don't hold it against them.
I am tired of working a crappy job with little income. I am tired of having to go to school so I can try to get a better job. I am tired of the stresses of life. I am tired of the difficulties of trying to get a girl interested in me. I am tired of worrying about my future. i am tired of the pressure I put on myself to not be a bum. I am tired of the endless bills, the lack of money. I am tired of my thinning hair. I am tired of school and studying. I am tired of life.
I just want to get in my nice comfy bed and sleep for a very long long time. Wake up one day where all my worries, all my frustrations, all my responsibilities disappear. Not having to worry about my future. Where i was a young freshman in college without a care in the world, doing whatever I wanted, meeting new people, waking up whenever, only having to worry about doing good in school. Having a girlfriend to just lay in bed with and talk to. Just being able to rest my head on the comfort that I once had with someone close, at my most vulnerable, just telling me that it is going to be all okay that this will go away and I will be happy again. I just want to be happy again. They say real world is tough, well they were not wrong. Tomorrow I wake up at 6 o'clock, half dead asleep, going through the motions, a robot, to work a crappy job just to pay the bills, and continue "living." An endless cycle.
Happiness isn't getting what you want.
It a challenge to get what you want and most people who get what they want find that it didn't make them happy.
The people who enjoy what they have are the ones who discover what happiness is really about.
I left home when I was 19 back in the early 1970's with a back pack to hitch hike and to look for America and carried a copy of the Disiderata in my back pocket to keep me inspired when the road seemed to be without a promise of a happy tomorrow.
I learned to keep putting one foot in front of the other until the end of the day and to believe in the kindness of strangers when all seemed dark.
Now after all the miles, the years, and the tears behind me, I can still find the truth when I read it.
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.
I am tired of working a crappy job with little income. I am tired of having to go to school so I can try to get a better job. I am tired of the stresses of life. I am tired of the difficulties of trying to get a girl interested in me. I am tired of worrying about my future. i am tired of the pressure I put on myself to not be a bum. I am tired of the endless bills, the lack of money. I am tired of my thinning hair. I am tired of school and studying. I am tired of life.
I just want to get in my nice comfy bed and sleep for a very long long time. Wake up one day where all my worries, all my frustrations, all my responsibilities disappear. Not having to worry about my future. Where i was a young freshman in college without a care in the world, doing whatever I wanted, meeting new people, waking up whenever, only having to worry about doing good in school. Having a girlfriend to just lay in bed with and talk to. Just being able to rest my head on the comfort that I once had with someone close, at my most vulnerable, just telling me that it is going to be all okay that this will go away and I will be happy again. I just want to be happy again. They say real world is tough, well they were not wrong. Tomorrow I wake up at 6 o'clock, half dead asleep, going through the motions, a robot, to work a crappy job just to pay the bills, and continue "living." An endless cycle.
Your fairy godmother doesn't exist to just wave this into place. So what are you going to do about it?
I'm 32 now, but back between 26 and 29 I was in $15k worth of credit card debt.
Making $35k/year... barely able to keep gas in my car, yet working loong hours at a job I effin HATED. Literally hated waking up in the morning to go to work and come home and repeat the cycle over and over again.
I have a college degree and yet I was part of the "working poor"... not that a college degree guarantees anything, but I had student loans to pay back in addition to my credit card debt. I felt like "i'll never be anle to pay my debts off...im legit stuck... **** life, it's not even that great"
Hit rock bottom and was evicted from my apartment due to being late on my rent for a third time ... had to move out and in with my parents (a fate worse than death at the time).... Lived with them for a year and just threw myself into work, all my pay check went to my credit cards.... I had no rent to pay or other utility bills. After about a year of straight up dumping each pay check on to credit cards, i was free.... It was a miracle. I was 30 and credit card debt free. My life could begin again. .
two years later, I have a savings of $14k, no credit card debt....still have student loans, but 'm managaing them well and am completely caught up and on track and now see there's light at the end of the tunnel as I only owe like $7k now. . .
I know how u feel. Hang in there, man. Trust me, it'll eventually get better, even tho everything seems like crap at the moment.
I am tired of working a crappy job with little income. I am tired of having to go to school so I can try to get a better job. I am tired of the stresses of life. I am tired of the difficulties of trying to get a girl interested in me. I am tired of worrying about my future. i am tired of the pressure I put on myself to not be a bum. I am tired of the endless bills, the lack of money. I am tired of my thinning hair. I am tired of school and studying. I am tired of life.
I just want to get in my nice comfy bed and sleep for a very long long time. Wake up one day where all my worries, all my frustrations, all my responsibilities disappear. Not having to worry about my future. Where i was a young freshman in college without a care in the world, doing whatever I wanted, meeting new people, waking up whenever, only having to worry about doing good in school. Having a girlfriend to just lay in bed with and talk to. Just being able to rest my head on the comfort that I once had with someone close, at my most vulnerable, just telling me that it is going to be all okay that this will go away and I will be happy again. I just want to be happy again. They say real world is tough, well they were not wrong. Tomorrow I wake up at 6 o'clock, half dead asleep, going through the motions, a robot, to work a crappy job just to pay the bills, and continue "living." An endless cycle.
Yup.
Life's a b**ch, then you die.
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