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Example- A man is on a date with a woman he finds attractive. This woman intimidates him a bit. He feels insecure. For a play at jealousy, he points out an attractive woman or talks about a good looking celebrity. So basically, he's insecure about himself and his own looks, so he's trying to make his date feel insecure as well or "bring her down a notch" so he can feel more comfortable in her presence knowing that she feels a bit uncomfortable.
I used a man in this example, but the situation could be reversed obviously. Thoughts? Anyone have similar stories?
I don’t know that the person does that to bring their date down a notch, or to try to bring himself up a notch. B
I don't think that is an example of an insecure man, but a manipulative man. Not all or even many insecure people are manipulative. I have lots of insecurity issues and would never try to manipulate someone to feel better myself.
Possibly both characteristics could coexist in one person.
Sometimes grown women make insecure comments about the possessions or talents of some other grown woman. This very thing happened to me recently. Comment was not to put me down, but to be self deprecating about herself. There was no reason to say the thing she said, which was not offensive or anything, but it made me aware of her insecurity. It was as if she was comparing us and feeling less than.
And there is no reason for her feeling that way, either.
I think insecurity can show up in our speech in many ways. Some insecure people are not trying to put others down, so much as to put themselves down. I understand this because I have been there.
Example- A man is on a date with a woman he finds attractive. This woman intimidates him a bit. He feels insecure. For a play at jealousy, he points out an attractive woman or talks about a good looking celebrity. So basically, he's insecure about himself and his own looks, so he's trying to make his date feel insecure as well or "bring her down a notch" so he can feel more comfortable in her presence knowing that she feels a bit uncomfortable.
I used a man in this example, but the situation could be reversed obviously. Thoughts? Anyone have similar stories?
This is just so dumb. If someone is insecure then they have to work on loving themselves first before they can love someone else. You have to be confident and know your self worth. If you're on a date, focus all your attention on your date and tell them how nice they look instead of looking at other people and pointing them out to your date of how good looking others are. I feel badly for the person that has to put up with that, however they will realize in time that they deserve someone who actually cares about them and that makes them feel special in every way. People don't deserve to be treated that way emotionally or mentally as that is negative and toxic energy to mess with someones feelings. The goal shouldn't be to put your date down instead of lifting their spirits up. Who in their right mind would want to date someone who acts like that. Your date will most likely be feeling awkward because of your stupidity and not uncomfortable because of her self esteem. Your date knows their self worth and will do everything in their power to never see you again and to actually date someone normal.
I don't think that is an example of an insecure man, but a manipulative man. Not all or even many insecure people are manipulative. I have lots of insecurity issues and would never try to manipulate someone to feel better myself.
I agree. Did the woman realize she intimidated the man? I was told by some guys I intimidated them and that wasn't taken as a challenge or a compliment, so no dates with those guys. He probably should not have gone on a date with her. That is starting off on the wrong foot.
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