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My friends, I understand fully your feedback, but wouldn't you get a little annoyed when someone asks you the same questions over and over and over again? Never mind that you've given the same confounded answer repeatedly; you just keep hearing the same thing ad nauseam.
I once yelled at a supervisor for doing this. I was threatened with insubordination; I said "Bring it on!" Don't talk to me like I'm some ****!
Yeah, it would annoy a normal person ... But, you have to remember - most of the people who reply to these types of threads are perfect and never say or do the wrong thing.
My friends, I understand fully your feedback, but wouldn't you get a little annoyed when someone asks you the same questions over and over and over again? Never mind that you've given the same confounded answer repeatedly; you just keep hearing the same thing ad nauseam.
I once yelled at a supervisor for doing this. I was threatened with insubordination; I said "Bring it on!" Don't talk to me like I'm some ****!
It doesnt matter in the slightest what the other person was doing or whether it was annoying...the point is there is always going to be people annoying you, always, every single day. Your problem isn't those people, it's that you can't be annoyed and let it go, you react to it, and react badly. THAT is the problem you are trying to solve, you're not trying to eliminate every annoying person from your life, you are trying to learn to react differently. THAT's why you're going to counseling. Again, what tools have they given you?
My big thing is patience...so one thing I try to do when I am feeling impatient and wanting to yell at the customer service person on the phone or whoever...I try to interrupt my thoughts with "Thank you God for this opportunity to practice being patient". That's what you have to do, find a different way to look at it and accept it as YOUR issue, not the other person's. If not you will never get any better and your life will continue to be dominated by sporadic explosions that prevent you from reaching your goals in life.
As long as your mood and behavior is dependent on what others do or don't do, you will always be a slave and not in command of your own life.
Oh, I agree that the OP is smart for working on himself. Good for him!
He doesn't have a choice, his employer told him he had to go to Anger Management if he wanted to keep his job. This is a serious issue, but to me it doesn't sound like OP really understands nor accepts it as such.
My friends, I understand fully your feedback, but wouldn't you get a little annoyed when someone asks you the same questions over and over and over again? Never mind that you've given the same confounded answer repeatedly; you just keep hearing the same thing ad nauseam. I am totally with you on this.
I once yelled at a supervisor for doing this. I was threatened with insubordination; I said "Bring it on!" Don't talk to me like I'm some ****! You lost me here. I would have fired you.
Yes, OP has a government job and is lucky they jump through hoops to get him help rather than fire him on the spot. OP's job is working with at-risk kids and families, so IMO the anger issues and outbursts are even more serious than they would be in a private sector job.
OP you remind me sooo much of my ex. It was never his fault, either. If people would just stop pi**ing him off, he'd be fine.
It doesnt matter in the slightest what the other person was doing or whether it was annoying...the point is there is always going to be people annoying you, always, every single day. Your problem isn't those people, it's that you can't be annoyed and let it go, you react to it, and react badly. THAT is the problem you are trying to solve, you're not trying to eliminate every annoying person from your life, you are trying to learn to react differently. THAT's why you're going to counseling. Again, what tools have they given you?
My big thing is patience...so one thing I try to do when I am feeling impatient and wanting to yell at the customer service person on the phone or whoever...I try to interrupt my thoughts with "Thank you God for this opportunity to practice being patient". That's what you have to do, find a different way to look at it and accept it as YOUR issue, not the other person's. If not you will never get any better and your life will continue to be dominated by sporadic explosions that prevent you from reaching your goals in life.
As long as your mood and behavior is dependent on what others do or don't do, you will always be a slave and not in command of your own life.
I feel bad for you that you have so many annoying people around you.
I feel bad for you that you have so many annoying people around you.
Everybody does, it's part of life. It's the guy who pulls out in front of you then goes below the speed limit, the lady who doesn't start writing her check until she's all rung up, the person at work who isn't working as hard as you, the customer service person who isn't listening and wants to dismiss you after you spent 30 minutes on hold..I'm no special snowflake and neither are you. The fact is life is full of moments every day where people don't behave the way we want. Unless you live in your basement and never come out, people are going to annoy us, and it's up to us to determine how we respond to that. OP has a dysfunctional coping mechanism where he can't let any of it go, where he takes it personally and responds as if attacked, that's a problem and it's going to continue to interfere with OP's happiness until he can accept that this is a part of life for everyone and adopts more mature ways of coping with it.
Everybody does, it's part of life. It's the guy who pulls out in front of you then goes below the speed limit, the lady who doesn't start writing her check until she's all rung up, the person at work who isn't working as hard as you, the customer service person who isn't listening and wants to dismiss you after you spent 30 minutes on hold..I'm no special snowflake and neither are you. The fact is life is full of moments every day where people don't behave the way we want. Unless you live in your basement and never come out, people are going to annoy us, and it's up to us to determine how we respond to that. OP has a dysfunctional coping mechanism where he can't let any of it go, where he takes it personally and responds as if attacked, that's a problem and it's going to continue to interfere with OP's happiness until he can accept that this is a part of life for everyone and adopts more mature ways of coping with it.
You need to learn to ignore the annoying types, ocnjgirl, it's not healthy to carry so much hostility.
I really don't think the OP is that bad ... the one harping on him needed to see some anger. Maybe she'll know better next time.
And the one who told him to "go away" deserved some choice words, also.
You need to learn to ignore the annoying types, ocnjgirl, it's not healthy to carry so much hostility.
I really don't think the OP is that bad ... the one harping on him needed to see some anger. Maybe she'll know better next time.
And the one who told him to "go away" deserved some choice words, also.
You didn't read my post, I do well with self-control for the most part and never yell or feel hostile towards people, I was referring to OP. It is a problem if you've kept up with all of OP's threads. Again, this is his last chance at work, they feel this is enough of an issue that they are paying for him to attend these classes as a condition of continued employment. you're really not doing him any long-term favors by telling him it was okay to explode in this case. You're going to go on just fine, OP is going to find himself jobless and alone if he can't get this under control. You might help him feel validated in the moment, I'm trying to help him have a better life; awareness is step one, and taking responsibility for our behavior rather than blaming others for it is the second. Without mastering these two, there is no lasting change. I'm actually rooting for OP and I'm certainly not going to enable him by saying "yes, she WAS annoying, so you were right to scream and yell". Mature adults can handle someone acting annoying without blowing a gasket.
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