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Being bullied is unfortunate and it happens to a lot of people, those people can either play the woe is me card or they can keep moving forward. Isnt 'moving forward' the better option?
And sometimes, moving forward requires counseling for post traumatic stress disorder. Not being told to "toughen up". Again, would you tell a rape victim the same things you told this person? Everything you said to the OP was told to rape victims and molestation victims years ago. Bullying often involves violence and repeated bullying over a period of years can leave a person with permanent fears of being alone or out in public, that someone is going to try to harm them. Have you ever heard of post traumatic stress disorder or do you just deny that it's a real disorder?
You told the OP to "embrace the bullying". Would you tell a rape victim to "embrace the rape"? You need to have some serious thoughts about your beliefs and what you have posted here. Nobody should be embracing bullying. It is not acceptable, period.
You also said you threw punches at your bullies. Your situation could have been entirely different from what the OP's situation was. Do you realize that? Not everyone can fight back. Not every bully situation involves two able-bodied males (which you seem to assume that it does). Some male bullies attack girls who are smaller than them. Some bullies attack children who are disabled.
My friend's daughter was bullied and she was in a wheelchair. Explain to me how she was supposed to fight back. I will be waiting for your response.
Depends on who you are, the extent of the bullying, how resilient you are/your overall mental health, and how you handle such things over the passage of time/how much time has passed.
I agree with this. It also depends on whether or not you had your own circle of friends. If you were bullied and didn't have any friends (that was my situation) it can affect you for much longer in life than otherwise. In a situation where a teenager is bullied and don't have any friends, they don't get to experience normal teenage activities and are denied certain rights of passage, which can stunt their personal growth. They also will likely go into the real world with handicapped social skills. I remember the first half of my twenties were awful socially but after mistake after mistake (and sabotaging many relationships and friendships by doing something inappropriate) I finally learned what to do and what not to do. This is something I should have learned as a teenager.
Bullying almost destroyed me during high school. I actually dropped out for that and because I had difficulty learning.
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I also did not do well in a math class where I was being bullied. Consequently, I learned nothing. As an adult, I went to remedial algebra at a community college, to learn basic algebra I should have learned a long time ago.
I also did not do well in a math class where I was being bullied. Consequently, I learned nothing. As an adult, I went to remedial algebra at a community college, to learn basic algebra I should have learned a long time ago.
Don't blame yourself though. You've done more than I have. I feel like it's a lost opportunity now. I'd actually be scared to go to school even if it was all adults.
It depends on you. I have no reaction to being bullied a lot in high school (early high school) or to some nastiness from our crazy mom. However my siblings have issues from both bullying and Mom. (Now, to be fair the bullying my older brother suffered included having his face bashed in with brass knuckles while the worst that ever happened to me was a broken nose and a broken hand when I decided to fight back but did not know how to make a fist correctly).
Don't blame yourself though. You've done more than I have. I feel like it's a lost opportunity now. I'd actually be scared to go to school even if it was all adults.
Thanks.
I am sorry that you went through so much bullying when you were in school.
I am thinking about becoming a teacher, but for years I was scared to do that, because I didn't know if I could deal with mean kids, especially teenagers.
Everything you said is completely false. Being bullied doesn't "toughen up" anyone and it should not be "embraced". Would you tell a rape victim this? Also, keep in mind that not everyone can fight back. What about children with disabilities that are picked on? You think they should be able to swing punches or do karate chops and beat down their attackers?
Also, the fears that the OP now sound like post traumatic stress disorder and he needs counseling and therapy. Not to be told to "toughen up".
I am truly shocked and appalled at the responses here. And saddened.
The poster had been bullied and he fought back. So for him the toughening up worked. You might not believe it, but for him his attitude has helped him. One should never devalue another's experience.
I do not approve of bullying in any form, and I deplore it. I have never experienced the kind of bullying others report, although I had my moments of humiliation in school. I believe kids learn this sort of thing from their parents and from each other. Parents' job is to teach their kids kindness. But most parents don't, in my experience.
I graduated HS 4 years ago and I still am traumatized by the verbal and social abuse I took
in those years
Well, I graduated from high school 49 years ago and still feel the hurt. I wouldn't say that I was severely abused, but it the abuse was sufficient that I still haven't forgotten it and still haven't gotten over it entirely.
I'd say that time is your biggest ally. Unless you live in a very small town where you see the people you went to high school with every day, you can take a great deal of comfort in knowing that they are no longer a part of your life. No matter what they said or did, you are who you perceive yourself to be. You are not what they perceived you to be. Cultivate new friends and try not to take the bullying too much to heart.
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