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I am frequently disoriented when I wake up in darkness. The dream right before waking is that I've just found myself alone in an unfamiliar house. I have no idea how I got there or who it belongs to.
Once I get out of bed I try to find my way to the bathroom by touch but I'm expecting to feel the dream interior instead of my actual bedroom. Even when I feel the familiar furnishings (Tommy Bahama wardrobe cabinet, towel rack) of the actual bedroom, the dream persists with the addition of dissonance since I'm not touching the furniture of the unfamiliar house.
In real life my spouse is angry I'm not sleeping with him in "our" bedroom. The mattress is much too firm for me, almost unyielding, and I cannot sleep there for more than a few hours, but he feels it is his right to require me to be in bed by his side. His dissatisfaction with my move is a constant low-level tension in our relationship. The mattress is not all that's unyielding.
So I keep having these dreams about waking up in a different house. Alone. Sometimes it's a hotel room and I'm alone.
I think I know where this is heading. What do you think?
Marriage is about compromise. The two must change a little to become one. When I got married I had a firm mattress. Wife has spinal problems. We pulled our money together and got a queen size Select Comfort mattress. My side is firm and her side is soft. Because I work rotating shifts sometimes one of us will be sleeping in the spare room. The price of a Select Comfort twin is too high so we compromised on a medium firmness mattress for the spare room. We do fight and get angry with each other but we take the time to talk it over after cooling down. Sometimes writing our thoughts and feelings in a letter (by hand using pen and paper, not phone nor tablet) will help. For it to help both sides must try to be understanding and willing to make some compromise.
My husband and I once stayed at a B and B where a king size mattress was too big to get into the upstairs bedroom.
Solution: The owners put in two twin mattresses and the special piece that spans the joint between them. Same width as a king.
He gets a firm mattress and you get a softer one.
My parents have done this, although the one thing you have to consider is that twins are shorter than kings, so many people prefer to get the twin XL to get the length of a king. My parents have done this and are quite happy with it. I have no idea if they have different firmness. I think my mom prefers a softer mattress than my dad likes because she sleeps on her stomach and my dad sleeps on his side.
And as for the vivid dreams, MANY medications will cause that. I think allergy medications are known to do that. I am on a few and my dreams are always super vivid.
And as for the vivid dreams, MANY medications will cause that. I think allergy medications are known to do that. I am on a few and my dreams are always super vivid.
I posted this in Psychology because I thought the recurring dreams were telling me I should be alone. You always get a little more than you bargain for on C-D, though. Dream analysis comes with a soupçon of mattress advice.
I posted this in Psychology because I thought the recurring dreams were telling me I should be alone. You always get a little more than you bargain for on C-D, though. Dream analysis comes with a soupçon of mattress advice.
Dreams are abstract. Some of us focused on the real life part of your post
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